


Maybe Girl

by Scriber



Category: Edgar Wright - Fandom, Hot Fuzz (2007), Nick Frost - Fandom, Real Person Fiction, Shaun of the Dead, Simon Pegg - Fandom, The World's End (2013)
Genre: Director - Freeform, Films, Kissing, Love, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Sex, Twitter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-15
Updated: 2013-09-29
Packaged: 2017-12-26 15:24:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 76,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/967559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scriber/pseuds/Scriber





	1. Chapter 1

I was sat on the steps, screaming into my phone "what do you mean you're not coming? You fucking promised. You just need to sign the papers and I will fuck off out of your life for good arsehole"

"Excuse me Miss, can you keep the noise down, we are trying to film here."

"What the fuck, I'm in a public street, piss off. No, not you arsehole just some wanker telling me to be quiet. Get your arse down here now, we will sign the papers, and then you can carry on with little miss whiplash to your bloody hearts content. If you are not down here in 20 minutes I will change my mind and go for your lovely flat overlooking the Thames. Yeah, thought that would get you moving."

Why the hell did they change mobiles so you can't slam them shut? It doesn't feel the same stabbing your finger on the screen. With a sigh I put my head in my hands and rested them on my lap. 

Looking up, I noticed crowds in the street and half of the road blocked off. Oh great just what I needed, half the world and his wife had just heard my argument with my soon to be ex husband.

It wasn't meant to end like this, but when you find your husband chained to your marital bed with his mistress whipping him, it sort of takes the love out of it. And the tackiness that she was his secretary made it even worse. I always thought the man I married was original and faithful. Obviously my judge of character was way out of kilter on that one. 

My mobile ringing disturbed my thoughts and I saw it was the arseholes number. "Don't give me crap excuses, just get your arse down here. You have 15 minutes left."

"I'm on my way, I'm just stuck in traffic, don't do anything hasty."

"Aahh didums will miss whiplash not like it if your wonderful flat is taken from you? You should of thought of that before arsewipe. Just get here, I am fed up of waiting for you." 

Stabbing the phone again, I looked up and saw the same guy in front of me. 

"I'm really sorry, you are obviously going through some problems but we really need you to keep quiet. The director is getting stroppy that he can hear your screaming and swearing."

"Listen, it's a public street, my ex husband is refusing to sign our divorce papers, and if your director has such a fucking problem with it, get him to man up and have the balls to come and tell me himself, ok?" 

The young guy turned and walked away, muttering into his walkie talkie as he went. 

I rummaged into my bag and found my cigarettes and lit one. Inhaling felt so good, and I knew it would piss off my ex husband as he hated me smoking. Thinking back I wonder why he ever married me, he hated anything I did. I wore the wrong clothes, I smoke, I drink too much, I swear too much and I was too vocal and upfront with people. 

Taking another drag on my cigarette I saw a shadow come over me. 

"Listen you, I have been quiet, I'm just sat here smoking my cigarette keeping quiet, so tell your jobsworth boss to fuck himself."

I look at the man in front of me and realise its someone different. "Oh shit, sorry man, I thought you were someone else"

"Well, I am. I'm the jobsworth boss who has to, erm how did you say it? fuck himself?"

"Fuck, fuck, sorry. I'm just having a stressful day as my ex is late and was refusing to come here, I will be quiet, I promise."

"We are having a break now anyway, so if you need to shout can you make it in the next 30 minutes while we set up the next scene" jobsworth boss even added a wink at the end.

"Well hopefully the arsehole will be here soon, he knows his flat is on the line if he doesn't get here soon, and I will, I will make him fucking sell it and then piss off to paradise with the money."

Jobsworth laughed and I found him sitting down next to me. 

"You have a way with swearing don't you?"

"Bugger me yes, my language is very bad, everyone says it's a sign of ignorance and being of lower intelligence, but I bloody disagree a good swear word gets the point across, and I don't think being a psychologist is bad for someone who has 'low intelligence' huh?"

"I never said anything of the sort. You seem together, if a little shouty, but then arseholes will do that to you. Especially ones who refuse to come and sign your papers."

"Ha yes, all arseholes will make me shout and swear."

"So messy break up then?"

"Well, it was over a year ago, this is literally the final fucking thing, then I'm free to do what I want with who I want for the rest of my life. I can't bloody wait."

"So what's the plan then? Anything you are going to do now you are free?"

"Who the fuck knows, I will carry on with my clients, listening to the woes of the world, swearing for England and drinking too much gin."

"Well that's as good a plan as any. Anyway it was lovely to meet you......."

"Zoe, sorry my names Zoe. And you are?"

"Edgar, but call me Ed."

"Nice to meet you Ed, maybe see you around. That's if your not pissing people off by telling them to be quiet and you get murdered." 

"I hope I do see you around, you're interesting" he passed me his business card, and walked off smiling. 

I had no time to think about what had happened as at that exact moment the arsehole turned up. 

"About fucking time you prick."

"Nice to see you too Zoe, lets just get this over and done with, so I'm free of you and your foul mouth."

"You didn't mind my 'foul mouth' wrapped around your cock for all those years did you?"

"Really Zoe, and you wonder why we didn't last, that mouth will get you in trouble one of these days."

"Fuck off, you arrogant prick, you're the one who cheated, how dare you try and turn the blame onto me. FOR FUCKS SAKE."

"Are you ok Zoe?" Came the voice of Ed

"Shit, yeah sorry Ed, am I disturbing your filming again? We are going inside now, I won't be shouting anymore."

"This is what I mean about disturbing people with your foul mouth Zoe, the whole world doesn't revolve around you. And you wonder why I left you?"

Ed piped up "actually she doesn't disturb me, I like Zoe very much and I'm glad you left her as that means I found her and love her. You truly are an arsehole like Zoe says."

The arsehole looked gob smacked. I was in shock and trying to style it out by pretending that Ed and I (who I had only just met remember) were in love. 

"Thanks Ed my darling, I will see you later on at home when you have finished filming, and then I will do that thing that you love while wearing the new present you got me yeah?" I finished with kissing him full on the lips. 

I was trying not to laugh and the look on Ed's face when I said it made me want to laugh even more. The arsehole stood open mouthed as I turned around and said 

"You coming then prick? Lets get this hellhole of a marriage over and done with."

The time spent in the office with him was draining, I felt my soul being sucked out of my body with every miserable word he said. How the hell did I stay married to him for so long? 

Being a solicitor, he had to make sure he read every single page and wouldn't just sign on the bottom like I did, he really is the biggest cock known to man. I felt free and liberated and like my blinkers had been removed. 

"When you have finished arsehole, some of us have places to be that we are late for as you couldn't be bothered to turn up on time. Move your hand quicker and sign the papers for gods sake. You're only giving me 50 grand not signing all rights to your first born satan child away." 

"You never were a patient woman. Just because you don't care what you sign, I have to check that all bases have been covered."

I looked over at my solicitor and rolled my eyes, he smiled back at me, with a look that said yes this guys a cock. The arsehole finally finished reading everything, pulled out the montblanc pen out of his saville row suit and signed the paperwork. 

"At bloody last, right I'm off, have a nice life and all that, thanks for the money, I will have great pleasure spending it on shit that you would of disapproved of. Lets not keep in touch, cos quite honestly you are the most boring, patronising, limp wristed, crap in bed specimen of a man I ever met. It's a miracle I didn't cheat on you more times than I did." 

And I walked out with my head held high, leaving him blushing and stuttering. 

Now let me explain, I never cheated on the arsehole. The rest of what I said was true, but to my shame now I never cheated. I wish I had, I wish he had caught me having mind blowing sex in our bed. 

Stopping on the steps of the building, I grabbed another cigarette out of my bag. God that felt good. Yes I know I shouldn't smoke, I know all the health warnings, but they draw me in and I can't stop. I looked up at the filming, saw Ed talking to workers and started to walk up the road to hail a taxi. 

"Zoe, wait up. How did it go?"

"Oh hi Ed, yep all done I never have to see the prick again. Thank god it's over, I'm just going to go home and get banjoed on gin."

"No one wants to drink alone, why don't you wait around and we can drink together later on?"

"I'm not the best company today, but I will call you, when you're not being Mr jobsworth boss that is." I added a wink so he knew I was joking, I looked at him properly for the first time. He actually was kinda cute, hair was a bit long and messy for my liking, didn't have a clue what he actually did, other than tell people off for shouting in a public road. "What is it you actually do Ed?"

"I'm a film director. Only I hate saying that as it makes me sound like a pretentious arsehole, and I think you have had enough of arseholes yeah?"

"I've had my fill for life that's true. What have you directed? Anything I might of heard of?"

"Well, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz......."

"What you directed Hot Fuzz? Fucking hell I love that film. Amazing scenes and I love how the same little jokes run through from Shaun of the Dead. Like the cornetto and shit."

"Yep, that's me, I'm guilty, but glad you liked them. We are filming the third one here today"

"Well your cool, stay that way, keep making the films I love. See you around Hot Fuzz Guy."

I walked away and grabbed a taxi. Making my escape before the arsehole came out and gave me a lecture again. As i sat in the taxi I thought of the last ten years of my life with him. They weren't all bad, but I wondered why I had stuck with him for so long, was it better the devil you know? It's odd most people in my profession give fantastic advice but our own lives are filled with shit and a living hell. It's over now, I don't need to grieve, I need to get drunk and celebrate. 

Back at my pokey flat which is all I can afford in a half decent area of London, the gin was out and ready for action. I threw all my stuff onto the sofa, and reached for another cigarette. The business card that Ed had given me fell out at the same time. I looked at it, threw it on the table and turned to Gordon (the gin). 

As I poured my first shot I found myself saying 'desperate times call for hefty measures' a saying I had got from my Pa god rest his soul. With a hefty measure and a not so hefty glug of tonic I settled down, and pulled out my iPad from my bag. 

I logged onto twitter and set about writing 

"I'm free of the arsewipe, it's just Gordon, me and 50gees"

After reading various other crap that people had written (isn't that what twitter is for?) I wondered if Ed would be on there. Would that look a bit stalkery? Would I look like a right saddo? Ah fuck it, I never have to see him again, just to say hello would be fine, he probably wouldn't even remember me.

Searching came up with his profile, it was all about his new filming and stuff so I thought it needed livening up. 

"@Edwright I'm just a girl, standing infront of a jobsworth asking for a gin."

Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Another hefty measure of gin was poured out when I heard a notification that someone had messaged me. 

"@ZoeD I don't know about Notting Hill, but I could meet you in Islington later on #notajobsworth"

"@Edwright Well Mr #notajobsworth you understood, kudos to you #stillajobsworth" 

"@ZoeD I'm just a boy, standing infront of a sweary girl, asking her out"

My heart kinda melted a little bit, but then he was a film director he probably watched every single film ever made for his job. So I decided to go old school and see if it worked. 

"@Edwright May I admire you from afar today? #WontGetIt"

"@ZoeD And I thought you were a zombie film buff. I'm disappointed #prettyinpink" 

Bugger me, he actually must of watched every film, ever made. Think Zoe think, you will not let him beat you. 

"@Edwright A naked american man stole my balloons #LiesAllLies"

"@ZoeD Getting better. But still no cigar #americanwarewolf "

"@Edwright Obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl. #HowTrue"

I was actually giggling, me giggling like a schoolgirl had not happened in years. My mind was truly shafted by the amount of gin I was consuming.

"@ZoeD I may have to cheat. Will ponder for a while longer #pondering"

"@Edwright At last, the mighty jobsworth has fallen #SilenceUntilAnswerKnown"

"@ZoeD Come on, give me a chance #haveaheart"

I needed to shower and let him stew on this for a bit. I was still giggling to myself but hoped the water would sober me up. It wasn't good to be tipsy at 5pm. I could hear my notifications pinging from the bedroom and laughed. When I got out I went straight for my phone. 

"@ZoeD Is it cheating if I ask a friend? #askingforafriend"

"@ZoeD Useless friend has no idea #fuckmyuselessfriends"

"@ZoeD Google is my friend and he knows everything #itsnotcheatinghesafriend"

"@ZoeD I could buy you 'breakfast' after the gin if you wanted? #breakfastclub" 

Ha, I got him, screw you jobsworth director. I win. Hitting reply I quickly typed 

"@Edwright Breakfast is for winners, you lost #BetterLuckNextTime"

"@ZoeD Call me, maybe? #forachat"

"@Edwright I prefer jobsworth but I can call you maybe if you want? #NameTag"

"@ZoeD I asked for that one. #maybeidiot"

"@Edwright Idiot's a bit harsh, loon maybe? #LoonAhoy"

As I was staring down at my iPad, I went to pick up my phone, grabbed Ed's card, and started to send a text. 

"Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy,  
But here's my number,  
So call me, maybe?"

Hitting send I wondered what the fuck was going on. This wasn't like me, yeah I flirted with men, and I had slept with a couple since splitting up with the arsehole a year ago, but getting all girly like this was not me. I'm a what you see is what you get kind of girl. No airs, no graces, and my mouth gets me in too much trouble with my bluntness. 

"I do want to call. Maybe I will as soon as I have wrapped here."

"Well Gordon is getting all the attention at the moment, so don't leave it too long, I will be too pissed to talk."

"Put Gordon down, get your glad rags on and meet me?"

"Not the most romantic of offers. And Gordon is offended, he wonders why you don't like him?"

"I love Gordon, and you will be seeing him later, I just don't want him to take over before I get to see you again."

"Time and place?"

"7.30pm, lounge bar in Soho. Are you coming then?"

"I know it, and in answer to your question, maybe?"

"Is that a bloody yes? Don't stand me up so I look like a Billy no mates."

I ignored all communication from Ed that I received after that. Being a tease was fun. Glad that I had already had my shower, I started to get ready. Reality hit home when I really thought about what I was doing. Who was this guy? Sure he is well known so he probably wasn't an axe murderer, but was I crazy for going to meet him? Or was I crazy for putting up with my shit marriage for so long? All I knew was I wanted to see him again. 

At 7.15 I left my flat to hail a cab, I knew I would be late, but that was part of the tease. Lets see how keen he is, if he has waited then that's a good sign, if he hasn't then the fucker isn't worth it. At 7.30 I am still in my cab, but getting closer to the destination. I hear my phone go off. 

"Are you coming? Or has Gordon taken precedence over me?" 

"Maybe"

"Maybe, what the fuck is maybe?"

"Just maybe"

I knew I was only a couple of minutes away, and I was hoping my gamble would pay off. As I pulled up, I jumped out and paid the taxi. I couldn't see him outside, which annoyed me as I would want a cigarette later on with my drink. I walked into the bar and looked around. I saw him at a table towards the back, looking down at his phone. 

"Looks like maybe turned up then huh?"

As I hit send I stared at him waiting for the message to arrive. It was obvious when it had as his head shot up and looked around and after a few seconds he found me. What shocked me was when he looked down at his phone and started typing. He obviously had hit send as he looked me straight in the eyes as I started walking over to him. My message alert went off. 

"And may I say maybe looks absolutely stunning."

I smiled as I read it and arrived at his table. He stood up and kissed me on the cheek. 

"So you came?"

"I did, I couldn't of coped with you sitting here all alone. Gordon was rather upset, but I said I would make it up to him later on, and I said maybe even Jack could join in."

"Jack? Ah don't worry I think I got it, Daniels huh?"

"Oh yes, it's a hotbed of liquor sin at my place, and I love it."


	2. Chapter 2

We sat opposite each other just smiling. Yes smiling like idiots. It was the most comfortable smiling like idiots I had ever done. 

"So tell me more about yourself then Zoe?"

"Not much more to tell, I am 36, recently divorced from an arsehole, I work as a private psychologist and I live in the smallest flat in the world. I swear too much, say things I shouldn't and after today maybe I could be called a tease?"

"But a fun tease. I got far too distracted on set, I don't think I have had that much fun on twitter."

"Twitter is what you make of it. Some follow all the celebs and crap, I don't, I follow the real people, that's where the good times are. None of the celebrity bullshit that they seem to spout out and I should shut up cos I have just realised you are one on them. Damn me and my fucking mouth."

Ed actually laughed, it surprised me but he did. "I kinda know what you mean, I wish I could say what I really feel on there."

"Well bloody do it. You should always say what you think or feel, don't hold in the fucking emotion of the moment."

Ed grabbed his phone and opened up his twitter app. 

"Go on, man up and do it! You will feel better for it."

"Out for drinks with the prettiest girl in the world #lifedoesntgetbetter" 

I'm such a nosy old bitch that I had to look, come on you all would. I picked up my phone and opened my app. Searching through my timeline I found his tweet. 

"Bugger me Wrighty, that's not really what I had in mind, but it's nice to hear."

"@Edwright I hope the prettiest girl knows how lucky she is?" 

Ed looked at his notification and smiled at his phone, then looked up at me and smiled. 

"@ZoeD I will try and tell her later on over breakfast."

"Well that's extremely forward of you. How do you think the prettiest girl in the world would react to that information?"

"I'm hoping she enjoys me as much as I enjoy her, so we can drink all night, have breakfast and I will drop her home ever the gentleman."

"Maybe she does? Maybe she doesn't? That's for them to find out over the course of the evening huh?"

"What can I get you to drink anyway Zoe? Is it Gordon or Jack tonight?"

"To be honest, if you want me to last all evening I had better start on the white wine, I would be fucked by 9pm if I carry on with the hard stuff, and I don't want that to happen, this is nice."

"Ok white wine it is, I will be back in a minute."

"Having a real life date, while also doing it over twitter is fun. #ShouldTryItMoreOften"

As Ed walked back with the drinks, his smile returned. He really did have a cute childlike smile. I thanked him for my drink (I'm a polite girl) and we settled back into easy conversation. 

"You are right you know, we should try this more often."

"Sorry what was that?"

"What you said earlier on twitter, we should try this more often."

"How did you know I wrote that? Are you stalking me on there?"

"Well yeah, kind of. I have it set so every time you tweet it notifies me."

"Fuck me, and I thought I was a bit stalkerish when I first tweeted you, you have taken it to a whole new level, but jobsworth, I like your style. Now show me how the fuck you do that, so I can do it to you."

We laughed as he showed me how to set up what I had christened stalker notifications. And as he put my phone back down on the table, his hand brushed mine and it felt nice. Well I'm being coy, more than nice, not quite like I wanted to rip his clothes off yet, but somewhere in between nice and clothes ripping. Maybe a good snogging session kind of nice.

We soon ploughed through the bottle of wine, and I got up to get another one. As I walked away I casually looked behind and again saw Ed on his phone. 

"A wise woman once said don't hold your emotion in. So I won't. #Ilikeher "

My phone beeped and while waiting to be served I pulled it out of my pocket. Fuckity fuck fuck, this was not supposed to be happening tonight, but I smiled anyway. 

"Wise women don't know shit. But naughty women know what they like."

Bollocks, it's out there now. Where the hell was this going? Calm down Zoe, take it easy. You are just on a date with a nice man. You are not going to shag him tonight. That is not on the agenda. Don't balls this up. Pep talk to myself over with, I went to pick up the bottle of wine when I heard my phone beep again. Grabbing it back out of my pocket I knew it would be from him. 

"A naughty women once said she knows what she likes. #shouldibehopeful"

I picked up the bottle of wine, and made my way back over to where we were sat. Ed's eyes seemed to be locked on mine, I placed the wine on the table, leant over and kissed him on the lips. I pulled away from him and simply said 

"Maybe."

"Maybe what?"

"In response to your last hashtag. Maybe."

"Fuck, I'm going to christen you the maybe girl from now on."

"You're the one that started it."

"That's true, but you have definitely finished me off with it tonight."

"I like keeping you on your toes. It's fun. But not quite as fun as kissing you was."

Shit Zoe way to go being so forward. What the hell was wrong with me. When I signed those papers today did I sign away all my common sense with it. I looked at his face to see if he was horrified or if in fact he had legged it home with the forwardness (is that even a word?) of the girl in front of him. Luckily he was still there. 

"Shit, I'm sorry, I'm not normally so forward, I don't know what the fuck has come over me tonight. Forgive me?"

Ed laughed "nothing to forgive. I like you, I think 'maybe' you like me. Lets just see what the evening brings, and if its you kissing me, I won't be complaining."

"Thank the fuck for that. Now you know so much about me, and I don't know shite about you, so come on spill."

"I'm 39, never been married, work stupid hours and apparently after today a jobsworth. That's about it for me. Not very exciting."

"Piss off, you're not very exciting. You have done some of the best films of all time, well after The Exorcist that is. What's your new film about?"

"I'm not going to say too much, but its part of the cornetto trilogy, so I'm hoping as you said you liked the other ones you will like this." 

"Give me a little clue as to what it's bloody about."

"It's about a pub crawl for a bunch of school friends who reunite. That's it, that is all you are getting, you want to know more you will have to go and see it when it comes out."

"I'm am impatient bitch, it's going to be at least a year until it comes out. Can't you tell me anything more?"

"I will make you a promise, if we are still 'maybe' friends when it comes out, you can come to the premier so you will see it sooner than everyone else. Or you could always come to some filming the next couple of days?"

"I think after today I bloody disturbed your work enough."

"Well I'm glad you did, if the production runner hadn't told me your exact message which if I remember was to 'man up and have the balls to tell you himself' then I wouldn't of come over to you. And we both would of been at home, alone, instead of here tonight. So it was obviously serendipity."

"Fuck I love that word. Serendipity. It conjures up all sorts of romantic and heart breaking notions in my head. Do you think it really was that?"

"Who the fuck knows? But fate had a hand in today somewhere. If your ex had turned up on time you wouldn't of been shouting, if you had stopped shouting at the first request from the runner, if you hadn't called me out for being a jobsworth. Yes, I would say today was a serendipity kind of day."

"Bugger me, you're right, the god of fate was colluding today." As I said it I burst into laughter. "I don't normally believe in all that crap, I just believe things happen for a reason, and you don't always know the reason till way down the line."

"Give me an example of that then?"

"Well, maybe I had to marry the arsehole, so that on this day and at this time, I would scream at him and meet you? You might not always understand the reasons, but they happen."

"Surely, it would of been better for me to meet you before you got married so you wouldn't have had to put up with that shit?"

"No, that's wrong. If we had met out of sync and before our allotted time it wouldn't of happened. I'm a different person to before I got married now, maybe you wouldn't of liked who I was back then. Maybe I wouldn't of liked you. Who knows, but it was our time to meet today. Fuck me I sound nuts!"

"I get it, don't worry. So you believe this serendipity event was pre planned in destiny?"

"Well not quite destiny, call it what the piss you want, but I have met you for a reason, and I want to explore that reason....... Maybe?"

"Again with the maybe. That word will haunt me for the rest of my life."

"Hey Ed, I haven't eaten yet, do you want to go and grab something to eat and then carry on drinking? I will have more stamina if I eat something. Unless you have to be up early tomorrow for pissing work?"

"Nope a rare day off tomorrow, well I say day off I have a million script and direction changes to go through but nothing I have to be home early for. Dinner sounds great, where do you wanna go?"

"Dinner might be stretching it, but I know a great place not far from here. You trust me?"

"Oh fuck, that's a loaded question, but what the hell I will trust you."

"Cool, drink up jobsworth, lets get sustenance and then start on the hard stuff."

I started to lead the way and we soon matched each others stride. I could see Ed looking downwards towards my hand. I moved it that bit closer to his just to see how he would react, I couldn't grab his and be anymore forward than I had tonight, no, this ball was in his court. He seemed to take the hint and carefully took my hand. Neither of us said anything, nothing needed to be said. 

"Do you like Chinese Wrighty? Hope so, cos I have a client who owns this most amazing hole in the wall place in Chinatown. It's not classy, but the food is amazing. Is that ok?"

"Love Chinese. And I'm not really into top class places, too much bloody stress."

"Hoorah, a man after my own heart. You will die when you try Lim's food."

It only took us a few minutes to walk to Chinatown, all the while he was still holding my hand, it felt good and I had the butterflies going on in my stomach, which is odd as I had already kissed the guy twice, but holding his hand had more emotions going on in me than the kiss had. I hope that wasn't a sign that he was going to be a shit kisser when we actually got down to a full on snog? Not that I was planning that in any way shape of form, oh no, I'm a pure and innocent kind of girl (insert your own winky smiley face here).

'Hey Lim, how's it going? This is Ed who's a friend of mine, maybe?" I looked over to Ed for confirmation and he nodded and smiled. 

'Miss Zoe lovely to see you here again, we still have our meeting next week? And Ed nice to meet you, any friend of Miss Zoe's is a friend of mine. Now what shall I prepare for you both?"

"Do us two bowls of those noodles that I love. I need to soak up some of the alcohol swishing around."

"Ok Miss Zoe I will prepare the best noodles for you and your friend."

"Shit, sorry Ed, I have just ordered for you and I don't even know if you like noodles."

"Noodles is fine by me and you obviously know what's good here and I did say I would trust you. So carry on."

As we were waiting for Lim to cook up the food, I leant against the wall with Ed in front of me. His hair was blowing into his face and to be honest I just wanted to grab it and hold it back while he was kissing me up against the wall. I think I must of been thinking about it a bit too much when I heard

"That's a dirty smile you have on your face. What are you thinking about?"

"Fuck, what? Nothing just thinking about this evening and serendipity and crap."

"I thought you said serendipity was a romantic notion, and that smile was anything but romantic, it was filthy."

"Shit, ok you want me to fucking come out with it, you actually want me to say what's on my mind?" 

"You were the one who earlier said, show your emotions, so hell yes, I want you to tell me."

"Ok, you asked for it. But be warned you might not like it."

I grabbed my phone and turned away from him. I didn't want him to see me blush when I hit 'post' on my tweet. 

"Is it wrong, I want to grab his hair and have him kiss me up against the wall? #AskingForAFriend"

I heard his notification tone go off. And could feel my cheeks getting redder and redder. Fucking hell Zoe, what is going on? Calm your hormones down, he's just a guy. I then heard my notification tone and knew he had replied.

"Is it wrong, I want her to grab my hair and let me kiss her up against the wall? #notaskingforafriendaskingforme"

Fuck me, this night is brilliant and scary and fucked up all at the same time. As I turned back round from facing the wall, I could feel Ed so close in front of me. I looked up slightly and before I knew what the hell was happening my hands were in his hair, his lips were locked onto mine and bloody hell it felt good. My worrying earlier in the evening was unfounded, the kiss right then in no way shape or form could be called shit. 

"Ahem, Miss Zoe? Miss Zoe your noodles are ready."

"Shit, sorry Lim, got a bit carried away there. Thank you so much, how much do I owe you?"

"On me tonight Miss Zoe, you look so happy, I want to keep it that way."

"Well thank you very much, that is very sweet of you. I will see you next week at your usual time. Stay cool Lim."

"Bye Miss Zoe, bye Mr Ed."

I waved back as we were walking away, I swear my cheeks were still blushing. I took a glance to my left and saw Ed looking at me out of the corner of my eye. 

'Oh fuck it, come on Romeo, eat your noodles up, and tell me what you think. Oh and stop staring at me like that, you will make me paranoid." 

"I'm just amazed what today has brought. When I woke up this morning I didn't expect any of this to be happening. I'm now with the prettiest girl in the world, getting tipsy, eating..... fuck me the best noodles I have ever eaten..."

"Told you they'd be good. Forget the high class fancy places, it's people like Lim who can really cook, that make the best food in the world. He keeps it real and its like heaven in a bowl. Anyway sorry I bloody interrupted." 

"Where was I, yes eating good food, and having one of the best nights of my life to be honest. Does that make me sad?"

"Oh fuck yes, very sad Wrighty. But if you are a saddo, then so am I as I couldn't of said it better myself. So more wine?"

"Yep, I'm game if you are, just warn me when the hard liquor starts coming out, I may have to get a taxi ready on standby for you."

As we walked back towards the bar we had left we ate in companionable silence, it felt good, and to be really honest now we had kissed and got the elephant in the room over and done with, I felt more relaxed. In fact I felt scarily relaxed. I had never felt like this with someone. You know what it's like on first dates, you dance around each other, asking polite questions, never truly being yourself, I never felt any of that tonight. Yes I had been a lot more forward than I would of liked and hoped for, but I'm still blaming hormones for that. 

"Why did you want to come out tonight? I was literally a stranger and you're a film director and you have all these actresses and staff all over you but you wanted to come out with the mad, bloody sweary girl. I don't get it?"

"You intrigued me. You still do. You didn't give a shit about what was going on earlier on set. You didn't care who I was, and it intrigued me that you would have the guts to say what you did to my runner. That's why I came over."

"You make me sound bloody selfish when you say it like that."

"Oh god no, I didn't mean it like that. You're different. I like different."

"Different is good, but it can also be hard to steer away from the crowds. You can stand out for the wrong reasons. I go through that a lot with clients. They want to fit in, it's their dream to fit in and not stand out. I find that sad, everyone should leave a mark on the world however small or insignificant to some people it may be. You have it with your films, I have it with my work and clients, but some people search their entire life to get it."

"Wow, so very true. And I don't really know how to respond to that without it getting all heavy and deep and meaningful."

"Don't fucking bother then, I haven't had nearly enough alcohol to enter the realm of deep and meaningful." I threw my empty noodle bowl in the bin, and searched in my bag for a cigarette. 

"I had forgotten you smoke. You should of said earlier we could of sat outside."

"I didn't think about it earlier I was having a good time." I blushed as I said it. 

"You look cute when you blush."

"Oh yeah a 36 year old blushing woman is really fucking cute."

"It is, don't put yourself down. So more white wine then?"

I looked up and saw we were back at the same bar. "Yep more wine if you are happy with that?"

"Grab a table outside and I will be back in a minute."

I sat down while still smoking and took my phone out of my pocket. 

"If it was wrong to grab his hair and kiss him against the wall, I don't ever want to be right."

I hit post and sat smirking to myself. You are playing with fire Zoe, it's all going to end in tears. This can not end in a good way. It's too perfect. 

"Who say's that being wrong isn't right? Who makes up the rules for wrong and right?"

What the fuck? That's a bit deep compared to what we have tweeted all night. 

"Rules? Where we're going we don't need rules. #YesIKnowItShouldBeRoads"

"@ZoeD nice. I see what you did there. #Bravo"

I could see Ed coming back with our bottle of wine and glasses so stashed away my phone. Is it odd that we could say all this stuff on the Internet but not actually say it to each others faces? Was it the modern way of romance? Is a 140 character tweet the new love letter? I kind of wanted it to be. 

As he sat down in front of me, I grabbed his hand, smiled at him and asked "rules are shit huh?"

"Some rules are, like that its our first date and all we should do is hold hands and have a chaste kiss on the lips at the end."

"Well we fucked that rule up them didn't we?"

"Ha yep I suppose we did."

As the evening drifted on, I realised just how comfortable I was in his company, there were no awkward silences, if we were quiet it just felt right, it wasn't one of those lame evenings when you start spouting shit just for something to say. I hate evenings like that, you come across as an even more rambling idiot than you do normally and that's never a good thing for me. I ramble enough shit without more pouring out and telling people how my cat died when I was 7 and I was so heartbroken that I vowed to cure other people's problems. That just made me sound more of a fucking loon than I already was. 

When it got to 1am and we had polished off our 4th bottle of wine, my head was starting to feel it. As I got up to have a wee the stumble that I managed to pull off with aplomb made me realise my legs were feeling it as well. Ed grabbed my waist to help me stop falling as I then very merrily walked over to the toilets. 

Fucking hell Zoe, sober up! You don't want this evening to end. After weeing, and washing my hands, I splashed water on my face. Come on sober up, walk out with dignity not falling arse over tit cos you have drunk too much. I think the drink had really got to me by then as without thinking I pulled out my phone again and wrote

"Breakfast in the city sounded wonderful, but breakfast in bed sounds blissfull."

Before I could stop myself I had hit send, and instantly regretted it. Trying to find the delete tweet button wasn't happening. Fuck my life, what have I done? I always seemed to banjax my life. I needed no help in that department. 

"A breakfast club for two could work. Unless you have detention? #breakfastclub"

Shit, Zoe stay calm. Fuckity fuck fuck. This is really going to happen. You can't go back now. 

"I may not play by the rules somedays but I hope I don't get caught and get given detention."

Right, get your shit together, you have to face him. 

"To not playing by the rules #cheers"

I got myself as together as I possibly could in the tipsy state I was in, grabbed my phone and walked back out. As I got closer to him my fear was beginning to invade parts of me that I didn't want it to. As he saw me, he stood up, walked across, grabbed my hair and pulled me in for a kiss. God it felt good, the fear invaded parts started to melt away and were being invaded by lustful feelings. Fuck I wanted this man now, 

"So come on then Wrighty, lets go and not play by the rules huh?"


	3. Chapter 3

So we had a nice night and then in the morning...... Ok ok, I'm teasing I know you want to know what happened. You can't blame me for wanting to gloss over the fact that yes I went back to his place on the first date. And not just even the first date the first day of knowing him. 

We left the bar hand in hand and hailed a taxi. Then it was the awkward, shit, who's house do we go to as neither of us gave the driver our address when we got in. Luckily he broke the awkwardness and gave his address. I'm glad in a way as if he had come to mine, he would of found Gordon and Jack by the dozen on the living room table and probably dirty washing all over my bedroom floor. That's never a good look for when a guy comes back to yours for the first time. I would look like an alcoholic messy bitch. Not an image I want to portray. Anyway I digress. 

We were sat in the back of the taxi, holding hands, Ed checking his messages and emails. Me just sat. Wanting to text one of my best friends but holding back until I knew what the rest of the night would bring. Ed put his phone away and turned to face me. 

"You have gone quiet, is everything ok?"

"Yep, it's all bloody good here. I was just thinking about a friend of mine, Kat."

"You know, it's all good just drinking and chatting when we get back to mine, nothing else is implied."

"Oh shit really? Cos I was kinda hoping 'implied' might of been on the menu."

Ed laughed along with me and leant over to kiss me. It was one of those foot popping kisses, but without the foot popping as I was sitting down, stupid. It was one of those kisses that makes you moan slightly and you try and hold it in. And also one of those kisses that you knew if you opened your mouth any wider, all hell was going to break loose and you would of ripped each others clothes off. 

I pulled back slightly, my breathing rapid, and when I looked up at Ed his eyes were as bright as the moon, and he had a big wide grin in his face. We both knew what was being unspoken between us, we both knew what was to come. 

We sat again in silence and I pulled out my phone. Hit my twitter app and looked at my timeline. 

"A night to remember, but not for the same reasons as titanic #OrIHopeNot"

Hearing Ed's notification beep go off always made me laugh. I would never be able to tweet anything in private without him getting it sent straight to his phone. Ed's smile got bigger and I saw him typing a reply. 

"@ZoeD well the titanic did go down quite spectacularly"

As my phone beeped I looked at the reply. Shit, rookie error Zoe Davis. Rookie error. Fix it now. Get the upper hand. 

"@Edwright I love a good euphemism in the morning"

"@ZoeD is that what the youngsters are calling it now?"

"@Edwright nah just the hipsters who are old enough to know better."

We both looked up at each other and burst out laughing, the laughter soon turning to snogging and hands wandering everywhere. The taxi driver pulled up outside Ed's apartment and the pair of us tumbled out. Ed paid the driver and took hold of my hand as he led me to his fancy apartment block. As we made our way in the lift I kept my eyes straight forward knowing if I looked at him then lift sex could be a possibility and that's never classy. 

As we arrived at his floor, still holding my hand he led me towards his flat door. This was the moment with keys in his hand he turned around and pulled me in for a kiss. It was one of those god we are going to do it now kisses. You know the one. The one where clothes are already being undone. And they were being undone, Ed was struggling with his keys, I'm trying to undo his shirt, while our mouths didn't leave each others. 

Then the door was open, we tumbled in, slammed the door behind us and pushed up against the door. The shirt was the first to go, then my top was whipped off over my head. Hands were wandering and the moaning was a mixture of his and mine. I kicked off my shoes and he started pulling me towards one of the doors. I assumed it was the bedroom, I never asked I just wanted him now. 

As we entered the room, I was undoing his jeans, as well as trying to undo mine. Hands were fumbling, the kissing getting more desperate. There was not any of that glamorous movie style removing of clothes. Who the hell does that in real life anyway? This was just normal fumbling, tearing at each other to get naked before we shagged each other.

Pulling away from him, I pulled my jeans down over my legs and kicked them away. Then I turned to him and pulled his jeans down and threw them on the floor. We we both just standing there in our underwear taking each other in. 

Then it happened. There was none of the feathery strokery foreplay, we knew there would be time for that later on. Both of us without having to say anything knew that we just needed to shag. Ed reached round and undid my bra with ease (impressive) and while he removed my knickers, I removed his shorts quickly. 

We both jumped onto the bed with me kissing his neck while he was reaching for a condom. I tore the condom out of his hands and ripped the packet open, carefully removing it (we did not need those sort of complications) and slowly slid it down on his hard cock. I liked the moaning that came from him. I do like a loud one in bed, it's like I'm getting the reassurance I'm doing it right. I'm needy what can I say? 

I slowed it right down now as I moved on top and gave his mouth small kisses. I could feel his hips pushing further up towards me, and god I wanted him. I lifted up my own hips and held his cock in my hands, moving it into the right position to enter me. I slowly lowered my hips onto him, both of us groaning out loud at the feeling. Fuck he felt good. I was all ready to take it nice and slow, but that went out of the window after the second thrust. Before we knew what had hit us I was riding him hard and fast. I didn't care that neither of us would last long. Round two would be taking place, no doubt about that. 

I could feel myself tightening around his cock, by the moaning coming from Ed, I assumed he could feel it too. Within a few minutes I was riding out a fantastic orgasm, and just as mine ended I heard "fuck Zoe, oh my god fuck yes."

A smile came to my lips as I was kissing him. I could feel him coming inside me. He wrapped his arms around me and held me lying on top of him (bonus points for not legging it straight afterwards). 

"Fuckity fuck Ed, that was not bad huh?"

"Not bad indeed, I think we can do better though yeah?"

"Pissing hell yeah of course we can. I will be back in a minute. Shit where is the bathroom?"

"Over there the door next to the wardrobe."

"Oohh how very fancy, jobsworth has an en suite. I will be back." 

I moved off of Ed and made my way across to the bathroom, suddenly feeling self conscious. Why do us girls do that? We have just been as intimate as you can with another human, but the walk of shame to the bathroom afterwards makes us feel fat and disgusting. They have already seen it all, but we still wrap sheets and towels and whatever we have to hand around us. No wonder men don't understand us. 

Anyway, as I was saying, I did the walk of shame to the bathroom and locked the door. Looking in the mirror I was pleasantly surprised I didn't look too bad, considering I had been royally shagged the make up had stayed put. It was a shame about my flabby tummy, but fucking hell he can't have it all. Actually he probably could being surrounded by Hollywood actresses every day. Shit I hadn't thought about that, now I was even more self conscious about walking back out.

When I unlocked the door, Ed was not in the bed. Fuck he has legged it, oh great I'm not the fucking sex goddess I thought I was then, shit, should I grab my clothes and throw them on and leg it myself? 

Luckily my silent prayers to myself were answered when Ed came back in just wearing his shorts. 

"Fuck me, I thought you had legged it. That would of been awkward that you had legged it from your own flat."

"Haha, no I was just getting you a glass of wine and a glass of water." 

"Oh praise the bloody lord for that. I know I'm not a Hollywood starlet but I have never had a man leg it from his own house I was so bad." 

"You weren't bad at all, in fact you were bloody fantastic. Come here and lay with me."

I didn't need asking twice, I jumped over to the bed, hopped in next to him and cuddled up on his chest. Ed was very sweet and passed me my glass of wine which I took a sip of, after the wine earlier in the evening seemed to be wearing off. Not that I needed wine to make me sleep with Ed, oh god no, but a confidence booster is always needed when you are new together. 

As we lay wrapped in each others arms, in silence, I could hear my phone vibrating. 

"What the fuck? Who is sending me shit at this time of night?" 

I should of known shouldn't I? All of you lot have guessed already. Yes, I was slow, but my excuse was lots of gin and wine and being shagged. You wouldn't of been so quick on the up take after that lot in you. 

"What have you sent me now?"

All I got from Ed was a laugh, so now I had to find my jeans and get my phone out of the pocket. All the while still bloody naked, with my flabby belly and saggy boobs.

"@ZoeD you are stunning, don't ever change. #soppyandIdontcare"

"Fuck Ed, you can't be putting shit like that on. You will be losing man points now. And shit I have just seen how many followers you have nearly 300,000. Bugger me it makes my 400 look a bit pitiful and neglected now."

"I will fix that, hold on."

"Everyone follow @ZoeD she's got a foul mouth, but she knows her euphemisms ;-)"

"Bloody hell Wrighty, are you trying to tell everyone what has gone on tonight? I know we made a bit of a show of it but that's just blatant telling people to follow me."

"Who cares who knows, I don't. We are both single, we are adults, who gives a fuck?"

"I would like to give you a fuck?" 

"And there is that dirty smile again, god that looks good on you."

"Nah, you look good on me, but first I'm just remembering something that was said earlier." 

I slowly kissed his neck and collar bone. Occasionally giving tiny bites. I kissed down to his nipples and nibbled one between my teeth. The low moan was appreciated and spurred me on. My kisses worked down to his belly button and I carried on getting lower. Ed's cock had started to get hard again, a good sign. 

I placed my hand around the base and slowly moved backwards and forwards. Then I licked just the tip before placing my mouth over his cock and taking him in my mouth. The noise coming from Ed was turning me on big time. I have always been a giving lover if it is appreciated. 

I moved my head back and forth, taking Ed almost to the hilt. Ever so often I would lightly drag my teeth down his length and the animalistic noise that came from him was making me so wet. I wanted to stop to fuck him, but this was about him not me.

"Jesus Zoe, god that feels too fucking good."

I could feel his hips pushing his cock further into my mouth and his moaning was getting louder. I got faster and harder with my mouth, I could feel his cock start to twitch within my mouth and knew he was close. I wanted to finish him off and taste him coming in my mouth so I sucked harder.

"Fuck, god no, oh baby."

I felt his hot salty liquid pouring down my throat, slightly making me gag (admit it girls it always makes us gag), but when I looked up at his content face it was totally worth it. 

"You ok Edgar? You have gone very quiet, and you have a look of a contented cat on your face." As I said it I leant over to get my glass of wine cos again girls don't lie and say you don't need a rinse out after going down on a guy, we all do it.

"God yes, I'm more than ok. That was amazing. You are amazing."

"Ha yes, it's a gift and also a curse."

"Come here and kiss me."

I moved position so I was lying next to him our faces so close we were touching. Ed moved his hands up to my hair and pulled me towards his mouth. I responded to his kiss with my lips parting to allow his tongue to enter my mouth. His hands moved down my back giving me shivers as they came to rest on my hips. The kissing became harder and his hands moved from my hips to my cunt (I tried to think of a better word, but they were all too girlie and feathery strokery). I knew what was probably going to happen and the anticipation was getting to me. 

Ed's hands slowly parted my legs, I would of spread em in an instant but I was still trying to remain the classy girl. 

His finger resting on my clit as he started to circle it, made my legs voluntarily spread further without any instruction from me, and I moaned into his ear. He moved his fingers lower and I felt one enter me, then followed by another one. My hips pressed into his fingers as I wanted him to move faster and harder inside me. 

I moved my head so I could kiss him, god how much I wanted to kiss him. As I bit his lower lip, his fingers starting fucking me. 

"Oh yes, Ed fuck yes."

Ed got faster and faster with his fingers inside me, and then with his thumb started circling my clit again. I could feel myself losing control soon, that crescendo building up inside me. As if he knew, Ed got even faster taking me over the edge. 

"FUCK! Oh darling, yes fuck me yes."

I could feel myself shuddering around his fingers, he pulled away from kissing to look at me. His fingers were still inside me as he slowly kissed down my neck until he reached my boobs. He sucked my nipples hard which again made me shudder as my whole body still felt sensitive. His head kept on going as he reached my soaking wet cunt. His fingers slowly moved and he lowered his head to my clit, teasing and licking so very lightly, knowing I would still be sensitive. 

Then without warning, his fingers got faster and he sucked directly on my clit, causing me to buck into him. 

"Oh my god, baby, I'm going to come again."

Ed continuing sucking on my clit, and it was just a matter of moments before I was coming again. As I did he removed his fingers and put his tongue right in me, tasting me as I was coming in his mouth. 

"Shitting hell, and bugger me. That was amazing. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me you stupid woman, I'm just glad you are enjoying it."

"Oh Christ you have no fucking worries there. That was bloody brilliant." I leant over and kissed him, tasting myself which made me horny again. "Did you spike my drinks with horny pills or something? God I want you over and over again." 

"Well we have got to make it to breakfast, and we have a few hours before then, so don't worry about that."

"God we will have bloody killed each other by breakfast time if we carry on like this."

"But what a way to go huh?"

"Too fucking right, now baby, where can I go and have a ciggy? I'm gagging."

"Go out on the balcony behind the curtains, but you will need to put something on."

"Fuck, you really are posh, an en suite and a balcony, thank god we didn't go back to mine you would of been really slumming it."

I grabbed the sheet off the bed and wrapped it around me, trying to look like a movie star, but looking more like an Egyptian mummy. I grabbed my bag and went to the balcony. Hooking out my cigarettes and my lighter I lit up and inhaled deeply. I looked around and saw a table and chairs and shuffled in my sheet to sit down. I grabbed my phone out of my bag and saw I had a couple of tweets from Kat. Opening up the app I saw she was asking what the hell was going on with the cryptic weird tweets. I laughed out loud and vowed to answer in the morning. Then the mischievous side of me took over again. 

"Is it three times a lady? If so I'm a happy lady tonight. #ThanksLionel" 

As I hit send, a fit of giggles came out, I couldn't help it. I carried on smoking my cigarette holding the sheet tightly round me. The notification tone made me jump. 

"@ZoeD it will be at least five but Lionel says those lyrics didn't work."

Fuck me senseless, this guy is hot. I'm here smoking and I want to jump his bones again. 

"@Edwright that better be a promise. I'm gonna be counting. #AbacusAtTheReady"

"@ZoeD Abacus? That's a new euphemism on me!"

"@Edwright you're never too old to learn jobsworth. #SuchAJobsworth"

I stubbed out my cigarette and went back into the bedroom. Ed was sat up in bed with his phone in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. 

"What the fuck are we doing? We need to stop with the tweets as people are starting to notice. I'm sure you don't want your one night stand business posted all over the internet."

"What the hell, a one night stand? Is that what this is?"

"Well, I didn't want to assume anything else."

"Is that what you want?"

"Oh shit, honestly? No. I like you, I really like you, this has been one of the best evenings of my life. You make me laugh, you give good twitter (which was not a euphemism), and erm you're not a bad shag."

"I like you too. I liked you before I even met you with what you said." 

"Well fuck me down, we both like each other, shall we just see where it goes? If you are not bothered about the twitter stuff we can carry on, I like it and you make me laugh on there."

"People don't really care what I say. I just direct, they don't follow me like they follow the actors in the film thank god. I think we are safe to say we can carry on as we are."

"Normal service can be resumed then? I hope that means other stuff and not just twitter?" 

"Fuck, I thought you would never ask."

I dropped my sheet and made my way over to him on bed.


	4. Chapter 4

It was the morning after the night before. I was sat on the balcony again wrapped in a sheet, with my legs not quite closed as, well I will leave it to your imagine why. 

Ed was fast asleep, and I was smoking and texting my best friend Kat. She already knew what had happened from reading my tweets and then looking at Ed's tweets.

"How the hell did you two meet? And what the hell happened? The tweets look romantic as fuck. I'm jealous."

"We met in the street literally, we tweeted, went out for drinks, tweeted some more, shagged each other senseless and now it's the morning."

"Wow, we will have to meet up tonight and you can fill me in on the details. He's kinda hot as well, I googled him after I saw your tweets."

"I will let you know about tonight, when I get home and get myself organised. Love you. xxx"

I lit another cigarette and smiled to myself as I replayed the nights events in my head. God it was weird that not even 24 hours ago I didn't know this guy and now I'm sat on his balcony. I went back through my timeline on twitter and was amazed at what we had actually said to each other, I noted my followers had also gone up to 1507 overnight. Christ, that isn't good.

"The morning after the night before, I loved it."

As I hit send, I took another drag on my cigarette. This is fucked up, I can't believe I have done what I have, but I don't care. Well I will care when I have to do the walk of shame when I leave, but until that time, I'm as high as a kite. 

"So you loved it huh?"

"What the fuck, oh my god Ed you made me jump, fuck I thought you were asleep."

"I was, and when I woke up and rolled over to hug you, you had gone." 

"Sorry baby, I wanted a fag and to text my friend and didn't want to disturb you. That was ok wasn't it?"

"Course it is, I just thought you had gone home, and I was a bit pissed off. I wanted you to stay."

"You wanted me to stay? Really? I was going to piss off home soon though, you have work to do don't you?"

"I do, but it can wait a couple of hours. And you can stay while I do it." 

"Well if it can wait a couple of hours, you know what that we could do in that time?"

Ed walked closer to me and put his arms round my bare shoulders. "I like your thinking, what could we do?"

"Breakfast in bed of course." I laughed and threw my head back as I said it, my head leaning on his chest where he was bent over me. 

Ed started kissing my neck and working down to my shoulders. "I don't know if you have worked up enough of an appetite yet for the breakfast I have in mind." His hand moved under my sheet and went to my nipple. 

"Oh yes, that feels good."

I turned round in my chair, and faced him. I kissed him hard and passionately on the lips. He responded by picking me up off the chair and carrying me back into the bedroom. I won't go into all the details again, but lets just say it was a rerun of the night before but even better. 

As we lay in each others arms, I broached the subject of me leaving. 

"Wrighty? I need to go home soon and have a shower and get changed and you need to get on with some work. I know it's a Saturday but your job isn't like mine, you need to keep your mind clear."

"Stay. Have a shower here, you can keep me company while I work."

"No honey, I need to get home and get changed. Look why don't you come by my flat when you have finished. I promise not to keep you up late if you are working tomorrow."

"Come to work with me tomorrow? It's the last day on that location and then it's long hours in the studio and you will be working all next week, so come and see me."

"Baby, you don't want me to come to work with you, it's weird. It's your job. I wouldn't want you to come and sit in my fucking office while I am with a client."

"Don't be stupid, it's not like that on set, people bring their family's down and they hang out between takes. It's not like a normal job."

"I'm sorry Ed, I would still find it weird. You are working, you need to stay bloody focused and I'm afraid I might distract you by wanting to kiss you." 

"I will keep asking you until you give in. I would love Simon and Nick to meet you as well."

"One day maybe, when we know where this is going, it's only been one night for fucks sake." 

"Ok, ok you win, I will see you tonight though yeah?"

"Yep, I will message you my address and then just text me when you have finished working, it will give me time to clear up my shit hole of a flat anyway." 

I got off the bed and threw my clothes on, getting ready for the walk of shame to the taxi that I had ordered. Ed threw some jogging bottoms on and saw me to the door.   
"I will call you later on yeah?"

"Yep, call or text me to let me know what time you will be around, maybe we could watch a DVD or something, oh crap that's probably a bit shit for you though huh?"

"Nope I love all films, a DVD and some food would be good." 

"Sorted, I will see you later Wrighty, stay cool." 

I kissed him on the lips but pulled away. I knew if I didn't we would end up back in bed again, and to be honest my foof was killing me. For someone who had only had sex twice in 12 months, having it so much in one night had taken its toll. They never show that in the movies either do they? They have sex for hours on end, and then the woman walks around in her heels looking all glamorous, where as we can hardly walk and look like shit. Maybe I will have to speak to Ed about doing a film with a true to life sex scene. 

I got in the taxi and laid my head back on the headrest. 

"Rough night love" asked the taxi driver with a wink. 

"Ha, if only you knew, and I'm not gonna tell you in case you're one of those pervy drivers. Do you think it's still a walk of shame if you use a taxi mate?" 

"I wouldn't know love, but if you're young, free and single who gives a shit what you get up to?"

"Good attitude to have, and I am two out of the three, the young doesn't count for me anymore at 36."

"Wait till, you get to 59 like me, then you know bloody old age love." 

"Ha true, that's bloody true."

We carried on chatting on the way to my flat which was only about ten minutes away, I didn't realise how close we lived to each other last night, but I did have other things on my mind (and lips) at the time. 

"Cheers mate, have a good shift." 

"You take care love, and I hope he calls you later like he said he would." 

I waved the taxi driver off. Fuck, I hadn't even thought of that. What if it was all a line and I wouldn't hear from him again? Shit, fuck, piss and bollocks. If that was going to happen I wouldn't have to clean up my tiny flat either. Oh shit, but if I didn't clear up and he turned up. Bollocks, why does it have to be so bloody complicated. 

I opened the door to my flat and looked around, it actually wasn't too bad, just a lot of alcohol bottles and patients notes. Easy to clean up. I went and checked my bedroom, not too bad either. I had imagined it was worse. Right plan of action, tidy up (just in case), shower or maybe a bath, that might be more soothing if you get my drift. And then a nap, and wait for Ed's call. 

I have explained to you all how tiny my flat is before and this is the problem with all my patient notes everywhere. I know I should leave them at my office but I hate sitting in there all alone writing them up so I end up bringing them all home and working on them here. I need a home office. I piled them up and had no choice but to leave them on the coffee table in the living room. Luckily I found room in a kitchen cupboard for all the bottles. It really wasn't a good look to have them hanging around everywhere. 

I threw all my dirty washing in the washing machine and that made the bedroom a lot tidier, and then just incase, changed the sheets on the bed. What was I even thinking? I couldn't close my legs properly as it is, let alone go another round. Men don't seem to have this trouble. 

After everything was as tidy and clean as it could be it was time to have a bath. I lay back letting the bubbles relax me and grabbed my phone off the side and opened twitter.

"Aahhhh bliss in a bubble bath, all that's missing is Gordon."

I hoped it wouldn't be long before I got a reply.

"@ZoeD I'm glad Gordon's missing out if I have to. #fairsfair"

"@Edwright work faster and you won't have to miss out #HarderFaster ;-)

Bugger Zoe, again with the forwardness. Maybe he won't take it like that. Yeah, like that's going to happen. As I started to shave my legs in the bath, my phone started ringing.

"Hey jobsworth."

"I wish you wouldn't call me that."

"It suits you" I laughed. 

"Is that the best compliment I am going to get?"

"Well, I could tell you that I have had to have a bath, cos my foof is so sore, would that be a compliment or too much information?"

I heard Ed half laugh and half choke "shit, a bit of both I would say."

"Well now I have completely turned you off me, are you still coming round later?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, I should be finished in about an hour or so. Is that ok?"

"Yep, come over and bring some films with you, I haven't got much here and you must have millions."

"What do you want to watch?"

"Surprise me. I like surprises."

"I don't believe that, no bloody women like surprises, you say you do and then you get all disappointed when its not what you thought."

"No, I genuinely like surprises, so bring whatever film you think I will like, I'm pretty easy going when it comes to films, speaking of which we need to talk about films later. See you later jobsworth."

I hung up the phone with the biggest smile I have had in a long time. He called, he actually called. He's coming over, so it's not just a one night stand. Hoorah! Ok, yes it could be a two night stand as he is off work and bored, but two is better than one right? And more than one equals a relationship yeah?

Spurred on, I quickly finished shaving my legs and emptied the bath to turn the shower on. I cannot wash my hair in the bath, it makes me vom. Friends think its weird, but its not, you have sat stewing in bath water, why would you wash your hair in it?

Wondering how to pull off effortless glamorous casual Saturday night in. I mentally went through my wardrobe. Stuff it jeans and a top will have to do. Oh and nice undies, naturally. 

Rushing into my bedroom I realised I didn't have much time to pull together the effortless glamour look I wanted. Why does it take all day to look like you have gone to no trouble? I slapped on my make up and got dressed. My hair was not behaving itself which is quite normal when you have frizzy, curly hair with a mind of its own. I made the best of a bad hair situation and sat on the bed. 

It was just over an hour since he had called, when I remembered I said I would go out with Kat tonight. Fuck, she is going to kill me. Not being able to put it off I called her straight away. 

"Hey Katyy, how's it going?"

"Hey dirty stop out, come on spill, or are you saving it till tonight."

Shit!

"Umm, about tonight, I'm not going to be able to make it."

"What? I was fucking looking forward to hearing the gossip. Why can't you make it?.........oh it's him isn't it?"

"I can't lie, yep he is coming round tonight, I'm sorry hun, you know I wouldn't blow you out normally."

"Well only cos its been so long for you and a man I am letting you off. So come on spill."

As she said those words I heard a knock at my door. 

"Hold on two secs Kat, someone is knocking at my door. Hold on."

I opened the front door to see Ed waiting with a big smile on his face. He looked cute, which is always a relief as you wonder if it may have been beer googles or sexual frustration that made you fancy a man before. I let him in and kissed him and indicated I was on the phone. 

"Hey Kat, I'm back but I have got to go."

"Like fuck you do. Tell me what happened."

"Well it's a bit awkward to say that now."

"Shit was that him knocking?"

"Yep."

"So was he a good shag?"

"Yep."

"And do you like him?"

"Yep."

"Come on babe give me more than yep, I don't care if he is there."

"Fuck off. That's more than yep isn't it?"

Both of us laughed and Ed looked up at me in confusion. Absentmindedly I started to play with his hair, and he lent forward and started to kiss my neck. 

"Come on Zo-Zo. You have to spill."

"No I have to fucking go, but all I will say is yes he was a fabulous shag, yes I like him, and no you can't meet him yet. bye."

And with that I stabbed my finger to hang up. Ed stopped kissing my neck and looked up a me. 

"Where they compliments you just came out with?"

"Oh fuck off. You must know what it's like with a best friend, they have to know everything."

"Yeah, it's not quite the same with men, we don't go into all the details you women do."

"Kat will kill me later, she would of quite happily had me telling her the whole evening with you sitting next to me. That wouldn't of been embarrassing much."

"So, what would you of told her then?"

"Pretty much what I just said, but with more detail. You don't need to know the kind of detail we get down to. Anyway enough of this shit. I haven't said a proper hello to you have I?"

I put my arms around his shoulders and pulled him into my lips. I slowly opened my mouth and let my tongue lick his lips and he opened his mouth to allow my tongue to enter. I dragged my teeth along his bottom lip and loved the moans that were coming my way. Bugger me the man could kiss. I pulled away from him slowly with a smile on my mouth. 

"Was that a better hello?"

"Well it would be worth me going out and coming back in again to get another one, put it that way."

"You don't need to do that, there may be plenty more where that came from." I added a wink and again felt forward. "Anyway, come on let me show you round, it will only take 2 seconds, as it really is the worlds smallest flat. There's my bedroom, next door the bathroom, and then here is my lounge, kitchen and office all rolled into one, and that's it. No balconies, no en-suites, not even a proper office hence why my paperwork is piled high on the table."

"It's cute and perfectly formed, what more do you need?"

"A bloody proper home office. I hate sitting in my office at work all alone, it's boring so I bring all my paperwork back here and I have nowhere to keep it."

"Ah ok, why don't you move then?"

"Cos I would have to move to a shitty area to afford to get more space and I like my sanity and safety more than space."

"Fair enough. So what are we going to do tonight then?"

"Watch some films, eat great food and possibly snog like teenagers on the sofa?"

"Sounds like my kind of evening."

I went and joined him sat on the sofa, and snuggled up next to him. My head on his chest with his arm around me. 

"Ed?"

"Yeah?"

"Why in films is the sex always so perfect?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you never hear the squelchy sex noises that everyone makes, the women never worry about any flabby bits and even after a good seeing to, she can always walk normally and in fucking heels as well."

"I've never thought about it like that."

"You should put a true to life sex scene in your films."

"Well, I don't really do those kind of films but if I ever do, I will go with your idea."

"Hhmm yeah, I suppose, I can't imagine a big sex scene in Hot Fuzz, although you could of done it between Angel and Butterman. Ha ha."

"Why didn't I think of that! So what do you want to watch?"

"Haven't got a clue. Could we start with the snogging like teenagers bit first maybe?"


	5. Chapter 5

Well Ed ending up staying the night but I kinda think you guessed that. We put on a film but never actually got round to watching it. Which was a shame as it was The Exorcist my favourite film of all time. It was more of the same, but it just got better. You know what it's like, as you get more used to what each other likes it feels better. Then he had to leave early in the morning to go to work.

Kat came over to have a catch up, and by 3pm we both were quite tipsy.

"So he's a good shag, you like him, he invited you to work, but you are still worried its just a fling?"

"Well what the fuck would a man like that want with me? I have nothing, I have an arsehole ex..."

"Who you no longer have to hear from." Kat interrupted.

"True, but still he must have beauties throwing themselves at him."

"Did you google his ex's?"

"Bugger me, no, why have you?"

"Course I did Zo-Zo, I needed to know what you were up against and stuff."

"Oh god do I wanna know?"

"Well, one of his ex's was a Hollywood actress and very beautiful, but you know, you win on the keeping it real level."

"Oh yeah, that's just want to hear, I am 20 lbs overweight, my hair is a daily fight to stop it frizzing, I live in a shoebox and swear far more than any lady should. God he's going to dump me isn't he?"

"Don't be so negative, your tweets were cute."

"Cute tweets does not mean he isn't going to dump me as soon as a starlet looks at him with a twinkle in her perfect fucking eye. Oh shit, why me?"

"Don't worry about it, down more gin and lets get the dancing on."

"Dancing? I can't think about dancing when he's going to dump me next time he calls."

"Well drink more gin, gin always makes people feel better. It's his job."

"To Gordon for curing all woes.' We clinked glasses and burst out laughing. We laughed far more than we should of and I ended up choking on the drink. My phone ringing broke up the laughter.

"Fuck it's him."

Kat grabbed the phone, "Zoe's social secretary, how may I help you?"

"Hi, is Zoe around? It's Ed."

"Sorry Ed, she is just a bit busy choking on Gordon after she deep throated him, if you give her a few minutes she will have regained control of herself and will be with you. So what's up with you anyway Ed? You having a good day?"

"Oh, yeah it's been good thanks. Erm who am I speaking to?"

"Shit sorry I'm Kat."

"Ahhh I have heard Zoe talk about you, I understand its my fault you didn't go out with her last night. I'm sorry."

"Don't worry the fuck about it, she had a good shag and a good time that's all I care about. Anyway Ed its lovely to talk to you but Zo is threatening to stab me with her stiletto shoe if I don't give the phone to her. Yep she's proper pissed off now Ed, nice to talk to you, hopefully meet you soon."

"Hi Ed, don't listen to a pissing word that woman says, she's a mad woman, a client who really needs a psychiatrist not me. Why you laughing?"

"Christ, you two together are hilarious. And I'm also very jealous of Gordon. How dare he get that privilege."

"Fuck you Kat, I'm going to kill you. Sorry Ed, just ignore her."

"Well, I'm hoping to see if what she said is correct."

Shit, when did he get so forward?

"That's for you to stick around and find out huh? Anyway you're working so how's it going?"

"It's busy but going well, I was calling to see if you wanted go out for a drink tonight?"

"Oh shit, I think I may have had too much already and......"

"IGNORE HER ED!" Interrupted Kat. "Whatever you asked her it will be a yes, text her time and place."

"Fuck Kat, get some bloody manners. Sorry Ed, but it looks like I have been told I'm coming. I will try and sober up a bit before I see you. I have a few hours right? God please say I have."

"Don't worry it won't be until early evening so you have a couple of hours. I will text you the details ok? Oh and I wouldn't mind seeing the deep throat action you gave Gordon. Bye."

Fucking hell, I'm liking the new forward Ed, he's fun.

"Kat, stop hiding behind the bloody sofa, and get here. You are a trouble maker missy."  
"Ha, but you love me for it. It got him being all forward. I tell you what, lets tweet him and see what happens."

"Oh Christ, you are worse than me, how have we stayed friends so long?"

"Because we bring out the worst in each other that's why. Now open twitter and lets get planning."

"Such a shame @Edwright got the wrong end of the stick about deep throat. We were talking about #watergate"

We giggled like kids as we hit send.

"Oh god Kat, I'm gonna choke again. Now you have to help sober me the fuck up before I go out tonight."

"You will be fine, lets get you in the shower."

And get me in the shower she did, by dragging me and dumping me in a freezing cold shower fully dressed. It had the effect of sobering me up pretty quickly though which was the intention. As Kat was rummaging through my wardrobe I heard my twitter notification beep on my phone. Oh shit no, Kat's going to get it I know.

"Leave it Kat. Don't you dare answer it."

"I wouldn't dream of it Zoe."

I knew she was hitting open as she said those words. I showered as quickly as possible to just get to my phone to see what damage may have been done. Opening my app I saw

"@ZoeD I'm impressed with your political knowledge, we can discuss it later."

"@Edwright nah, I would rather discuss the Lovelace version ;-)"

Fuck my life, right there.

"Katty, you better get your fucking arse here right now, I'm sober and I'm going to kill you."

"I can't hear you Zoe, I'm too busy being your best friend right now and hiding your knives. Please take pity on an old lady."

Before I could answer my phone beeped. I looked down and saw a text from Ed.

"That was Kat huh?"

Hitting reply I laughed that he had got the measure of us both right away.

"How did you guess? But yes it was, I was in the shower."

"Oh come on, play fair. All this talk of deep throats and showers and alcohol. I'm trying to bloody work here."

"Well get back to work jobsworth and let me get some clothes on so you don't have that vision in your head. (I hope you have that vision now.)"

"STOP IT. I'm off, I will see you in a couple of hours."

I carried on laughing and then I heard.

"Am I forgiven yet? I can hear you laughing."

"Get your arse in here. I won't kill you, yet."

Kat stuck her head around my bedroom door and waved a tissue. Well who has white hankies these days?

"Get in here, you adorable drunken loon."

"I couldn't help it Zo, the mischief voice in my head made me do it."

"You're forgiven, now help me get ready."

We spent a couple of hours together, laughing, being rude and trying to make me beautiful. Considering neither of us are miracle workers I didn't look to bad in the end. As we were finishing my phone beeped and it was a text.

"Meet me at 7.00 at the same bar as before. Is that ok?"

I hit reply "See you there, looking forward to it. Do you need an early night?"

"Not necessarily. But I wouldn't mind an early night with you."

Oohhh nice, nice. This evening was going to be good.

"Right Katty, I have got to go, so get out."

"Can't I stay here and sober up?"

"No, cos I know you, and IF he comes back with me you will still be here passed out drunk on the sofa."

"Me? Me? Never." As she cackled with laughter.

I should explain that Kat and I have been friends since we went to junior school at the age of 7. We know everything about each other, nothing is ever hidden no matter how embarrassing and we would kill if anyone hurt either of us. Kat was like the sister I never had, but better, sisters argue, Kat and I have had one argument in all our time together. The argument was about me marrying the arsehole, it was a doozy of a fight, but I forgave her and to be honest she was proved right in the end. When I caught him and Miss Whiplash together I even apologised and we cried and then got drunk together and slaughtered 'I will survive' at a karaoke bar.

We left at the same time, Kat almost falling in her taxi (she carried on drinking when I stopped) and me nervously climbing in mine. Why was I nervous? This was no different to the past two nights. In fact is should be easier, we had no worries about going to bed together (we knew that was going to happen), we had no worries about being just in each others company, it was odd.

The taxi got me there quickly, and I jumped out and paid him before looking at the bar. This was where it all started. It felt weird being back just two days after it all started thinking what we have been up to in such a short space of time.

I took a deep breath (breath people, not throat!), and pushed open the door. Inside was really busy, I looked around but couldn't see him. I checked my watch and saw it was 7.00, sighed and went up to the bar. I ordered a tonic water as I didn't want to start drinking all by myself like a Billy no mates, and I was beginning to wonder if Ed might think I was a bit of an alcoholic. Every time I have seen him or spoken to him I had been drinking, I'm not an alcoholic at all, but always like a drink at the weekend. I never drink midweek or before seeing clients, but it just transpired I met Ed at a weekend so I looked like a big lush.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and I jumped and turned round.

"Shit sorry Ed, you made me jump. I didn't see you come in."

"You look amazing. I was sat over there, I must of missed you coming in."

He pulled me to him for a kiss. Hhmmmmm I had missed those kisses. I know it had only been 12 hours, but I had still missed them. It's amazing how quickly you get used to the nice things in life isn't it?

I heard some cheering from behind us and Ed pulled away and stuck his middle finger up at the crowd making the noise.

"Friends of yours?"

"Shit, yes I should of said, everyone from the set came down as well."

"Bloody hell Edgar. This is not how I wanted to meet your friends."

"I knew I should of told you, but then I thought you wouldn't come, and I have bored them all today talking about you. Are you really pissed off?"

"Too fucking right I am. You should of told me babe, you can't just spring.... Fuck I can't even begin to count how many people are in that group."

"There's about 30 of us. Come outside, have a cigarette and talk to me. I really am sorry."

He gave me the bloody puppy dog eyes for good measure, I begrudgingly went outside, Ed being cute and having his arm round me the whole time. I lit my fag and sat on a chair.

"Zoe, I'm sorry, look, let me go in and tell them we are going somewhere else for dinner and a drink. They will understand, they know we want time alone together."

"No don't do that, they will think I'm a right old miserable bitch. I will go and say hello to them and we will see what happens. Just don't drop shit like this on me in future."

"You did say you liked surprises." Ed asked more as an embarrassed question.

"Thats come back and bit me on the arse hasn't it? I'm just worried that its all a bit soon, this is like our third date in three days and I'm worried about getting hurt..... Fuck I didn't mean it quite like that."

"Why would I hurt you? I really like you Zoe, I know it's only been three days, but I knew from the moment I saw you that I liked you."

"Shit, this is a bit weird and fucked for a third date isn't it? Normally we would be at the 'heavy petting' stage and we have crashed through all the rules and already having a tiff. Look I'm just going to say this and get it out there and then you can go and see your mates while I go home if you want. I really like you too Ed, in fact probably too much. I know I'm going to fall for you and you have had beautiful ex girlfriends, and I'm just slightly overweight, frizzy haired Zoe, no one special who happens to have a loud mouth that gets her in trouble every single bloody time.... No don't interrupt me..... I could fall in love with you easily, I feel like I have known you for years, even silence is comfortable for us, but its been three days, three fucking days Ed. That's nothing, most people wait longer than that between first and second dates and we have gone and done it all in three days. And now I'm rambling shit and you probably want to leave, and I get it, I truly do."

"Zoe, shut the hell up and look up at me." I slowly raised my eyes to meet his gaze. "I feel exactly the same. I feel so comfortable with you around me and I don't feel that normally. I already know I'm falling for you, it sounds crazy and irrational and I have never believed in love at first sight and all that shit, but I'm beginning to see what people mean. I'm worried that you have googled my past girlfriends..."

"Ah, well that was actually Kat, and then she told me about them." I looked back down at the floor and blushed.

"Look at me Zo?"

"Fuck you called me Zo, no one but Kat calls me that."

"Sorry, is that not allowed? I didn't know it was a name for the two of you."

"No, it's just no one else has ever even thought of calling me it, no one bothers to shorten Zoe as its so short already. Katty has always done it, and literally no one has ever done it until you just then. Oh god kiss me Ed?"

Ed put his arms round me held me really close and pressed his mouth on mine softly. I opened my mouth to respond and licked his lips. Before I knew what was happening, it was one of those knee trembler kisses, and bugger me where my knees trembling. This man did stuff to my hormones that just made me as rampant as rabbits. I pulled away before I had him over the table and we were arrested.

"I'm sorry I caused this, you just caught be off guard, and the alcohol from earlier has all worn off, and I must tell you I'm not an alcoholic, you have just caught me at the weekend when I drink and let go. I don't drink during the week."

"Why would I think your a bloody alcoholic?"

"Every time you have seen or spoken to me I am drinking. And I bet your Hollywood starlets don't drink anything except Perrier and nibble on a fat free, fun free protein rice cake shit."

"Zoe, don't worry about ex's they are that for a reason, you are beautiful, you are a lot more stunning than you give yourself credit for, and your brain amazes me and confuses me in equal measures."

"Is that a compliment? I probably should take it as one, I said to you before psychologists are all fucked in the head."

"So, come and meet the cast and crew and let your hair down, which is not looking frizzy at all, but it will be later when I get hold of it."

"Why Mr Wright, are you hitting on me? Cos if you are, carry on, I like that shit. You're right lets do this. Just don't leave me alone without alcohol or you by my side."

Ed kissed me on my cheek, wrapped his arm back round me and led me back inside. We walked over to where the big group were sitting and Ed started to introduce me to everyone. What shocked me the most was meeting Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. I got a bit fan girlie to be honest, but Ed sat me down next to them and held my hand.

"So you're the girl who has got our boss all in a fucking tizz huh?" Simon asked.

"Well I don't know about that, I was just a girl asking for a gin."

"Well whatever it is keep it up, he's a different person and his work is on fire. What you drinking Zoe?"

"Well I was on the tonic water as I had too much of Gordon earlier..."

"What the hell is this Gordon? I saw you two tweeting this shit about Gordon and couldn't understand any of it." Replied Simon.

"Gin. Gordon is gin and Jack is jack daniels."

"Oh god i understand now, at least your tweets make a bit more sense. I was worried for a while."

"Fuck me Simon, did you think I was having a man in the bath and telling Ed about it on the Internet for everyone to see? Ha that's brilliant, I wish I hadn't bloody told you the truth now. Anyway let me get you and Nick a drink, it's the least I can do, if jobsworth here has been a pain in the arse today talking about me."

I walked over to the bar and looked back at Ed, he was talking to Simon but kept looking over at me. It was cute, stalkerish but a nice stalkerish. I took the drinks back and sat down. Lifting up my glass of jack daniels, I proposed a toast. "To Gordon and Jack, who have brought new friends together."

Simon and Nick laughed and joined in. Ed looked at the group laughed as well, put his arm back round me and clinked my glass.

The rest of the evening was just general chit chat, people asked about my job and they genuinely seemed interested, it wasn't the "oh really" or "analyse me" shit I normally get when people find out what I do. I hate the analyse me question. You just know you are going to upset them when you tell them something that deep down they already know but they don't expect anyone else to see it and get shitty when you do. Now, I make a lame joke like "oohhh I will charge you" and they do a fake laugh (cos it's truly not funny) and I join in the fake laugh and its forgotten.

Ed was very thoughtful all night, introduced me to everyone, never left my side and was very attentive. If I could admit it to him, I had a great time. In fact a fantastic time. The drinks were flowing, the conversation great and I had Ed on my arm, what more could I want? Well apart from Ed in bed, that would happen later though I was sure.

We were all saying goodbye and promising to meet up again soon when Nick came up to say goodbye.

"Night Nick, will hopefully see you again soon yeah?"

"Lovely to meet you Zoe, do me a favour though?"

"Oh shit, if I can, what is it?"

"Don't break his heart, he is besotted by you, he's falling hard and he's a good guy."

"Fuck me Nick, don't pull the fucking punches. It's been three days, but, I like him, I have told him I really like him so we will have to see how it goes. Now fuck off asking me awkward questions."

I kissed him on the cheek and said goodbye. It just left Ed and I waiting for a taxi.

"You tired jobsworth?"

"Not really, I enjoyed tonight, why are you?" The eager look on his face was funny as I knew exactly what he had in mind.

"I really am actually, I think all the alcohol has caught up with me. Would you mind if I just went home?"

"Oh, no, erm, if you're tired, no, not a problem."

I couldn't hide my laughter anymore. "Oh look at you, trying to be all bloody gentlemanly when secretly you were gutted. You coming back to mine or what?"

"I thought you would never ask. What time do you have to be in work tomorrow?"

"Working from home, so whenever the boss says I should and she says quite late."

"We are having a late call for night shoots in the studio so a lie in will be in order."

"Result! I love getting up at the crack of noon."

We hailed a taxi and jumped in. We snuggled up together, and he ran his fingers down my back. God, it felt nice.

"Simon and Nick thought you were great."

"Really?"

"Yep, all of them did. I knew they would like you. They said you seemed friendly, approachable but with a mouth like a sailor."

"Fuck do they want my job? That's some crack analysis right there. That's how I would describe myself perfectly. I like them too, and they have your back just like Kat has mine. Fuck I suppose you will have to meet Kat now. She will go mad if she is being left out."

"God am I ready for that? You two sounded chaos together."

"We are, but in a good way. We truly are yin and yang to each other. We need each other to work properly. Does that sound weird?"

"Nope it sounds perfect, but, she is properly crazy isn't she? Even more crazy than you?"

"Yep she is crazy, but perfect crazy, you think I speak my mind, you wait till you meet her. Did I tell you the minute she saw our tweets to each other on Friday she had googled you, found out everything about you and told me you were cute. She is my soul mate."

"I want to meet her, arrange something for next weekend. What would she like to do?"

"Fuck, don't whatever you do ask her that. Kat will have us down the naffest karaoke bar, with wine and chasers, and before you know it you're singing Mama Mia badly. That's a true story. Or should I say stories. It's happened more than once."

"I like the sound of that, arrange it."

"Pissing hell are you serious? I have tried to warn you, it will be messy, you can't do it on a work night, you won't survive."

"Nope, do it. Maybe I could bring some friends along?"

"Bring whoever the fuck you like, but I warn you, they may not be your friends for much longer."

The taxi pulled up at my flat and we piled out and Ed paid after the usual argument. As we walked up the stairs I could feel my stomach churning as I knew what was going to happen next. To be honest it's what I had wanted to happen all night. I like going out, but when you have a hot man, what's the point? You might as well cut out the middle man, so to speak and get straight to bed. More time to explore each other.

I got my keys out to open my door with Ed behind me, I felt his hands wrap around my waist and felt soft tender kisses on the back of my neck. I felt goose bumps form on my arms as his touch gave me shivers. I pushed the door open and turned round to face him. We were on each other instantly, the kisses were furious and hurried. God I wanted this man so much, have I said that before?  
We made it as far as the sofa without our lips parting for a second. Clothes were trying to be fumbled off, when I pulled back from kissing and started undoing Ed's shirt slowly. As I did so, I kissed down his chest, getting lower and lower with each button. I was soon on my knees with his jeans still in the way. I loosened his belt and undid his buttons, pulling down his jeans and shorts together, Ed kicked them off.

I turned my attention back to his stomach and started kissing down again. Getting to his cock, I grasped the base in my hands and moved my hand back and forth. The groaning coming from Ed, was a complete turn on. Admit it ladies we don't really like giving blow jobs. We all pretend we do, and the men love us for it. But in reality you get jaw ache and you start mentally doing the shopping list in your head while hoping it will be finished soon, and this was my second time in three days!

I licked the tip of his hard cock and the moaning increased. Spurred on I took him whole in my mouth only gagging slightly, thanking Kat for the night she made us practice on cucumbers to help with the gag reflex. I was conscious of the 'deep throat' conversation earlier and I was determined not to disappoint.

Taking him faster and faster on each thrust of my mouth his hand moved down to my hair and he ran his fingers through it.

"Zoe, fuck it feels good. Don't stop."

I could feel his cock harden more and twitch slightly in my mouth, I knew what was coming (him literally!) and fuck was I turned on that I had caused this, and at the back of my mind was hoping it would be my turn sometime soon.

Within a few more thrusts I could feel and taste (it still tastes disgusting no matter how hot the guy) him coming in my mouth. I slowed down the pace with my mouth and then released his cock, licking my lips.

"Oh my fucking Christ Zoe, what are you doing to me? I had the whole seduction thing worked out tonight, but fuck me that felt good. Kat wasn't lying was she earlier?"

I laughed at him, while standing back up, and he pulled me in for a kiss. To be honest this slightly grossed me out as I hadn't swilled and as I said before its not the best taste, but that kiss was good.

The kissing got more passionate as he picked me up (yes he actually picked me up even with my 20lbs overweight-ness) and carried me to the bedroom. It was now my turn to moan as he started stripping me of the clothes I still had on. As he took every item off he kissed me wherever he could on my body. I was panting wanting his touch, wanting him to fuck me.

"Ed, come here and fuck me now. I want you."

"Oh no, it's not time for that yet. You will have to be more patient."

"Piss off, come here and take me now like the Scarlett woman I am."

"What the fuck?" Ed burst out laughing, I think I may have interrupted the moment.

"Well, do it. Fuck me senseless, I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now."

That obviously did the trick, as Ed was upon me in a flash. His mouth on mine searching out my tongue, and his hands seemed to be everywhere. It wasn't until his hand came and rested between my legs, I realised how turned on I was. I didn't think it was going to be long before he had me screaming and I was right.

After more mind blowing sex, which it really was (I know everyone says that until they split up and then say he was a shit shag), we spooned up together in bed. It felt comfortable, but not in a routine comfortable way. I can't explain what the fuck was going on after only three days, but it just felt right, and we drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

 


	6. Chapter 6

Ed left at about noon, and I settled down on the sofa to catch up with my paperwork. My mind was so distracted and I kept doing a weird smile to myself. Thank god no one could see me, I would of looked nuts, well more nuts than usual. Shaking my head to try and forget I concentrated on the file in front of me. My phone ringing interrupted my writing and I looked to see who it was. 

"Hi Brian, is everything ok?"

"Zoe, I need another appointment with you. I have to see you as soon as possible."

"Calm down Brian, I am seeing you on Wednesday and Friday this week. Just take some deep breaths and take it easy. This feeling will pass ok?"

"No, please can you fit me in today?"

"I am busy today Brian, so we will have to keep it till Wednesday as arranged."

"Please Zoe, please. I need to see you."

Sighing silently to myself, I responded "I can see you at 6pm this evening at my office but that is all I can do."

"Thank you, I will take deep breaths until then."

"Ok Brian, remember your exercises in control, you will be fine. If you find you don't need to see me, call me and we will meet on Wednesday ok?"

I hung up and sighed again, so much for a day off from clients. Now I had to crack through the paperwork at a fair rate to get done in time. My phone rang again, I didn't look at the caller display 

"Brian just keep taking the deep breaths ok?"

"Thanks Zoe. I'm sorry."

"That's ok, just don't call again until you have tried all the exercises I taught you ok?"

"Ok. Bye, see you later."

I picked up my pen and started writing again. The ringing from the phone making me shake my head. 

"You cannot have done all the exercises Brian in that short space of time."

"What? What exercises and who's Brian?"

"Shit. Sorry baby, I have been having lots of calls from a client. How's it going? You only left an hour and a half ago, you can't miss me already."

"Of course I miss you already, it's good here, just getting everything set up for late filming. God I wish I could see you tonight."

"That's not going to happen this week is it? I'm working days, you are working till 3 in the morning, and never the twain shall meet. I am going to speak to Kat about next Saturday though, you still up for that?" 

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, I have mentioned it to a couple of people here and they are up for it as well. But, I still want to see you before then."

"I don't think it's going to happen sorry, I am even going to my office tonight at 6 to meet a client."

"Fuck, this is not fair. Can you not come here after work one evening? We have breaks you know."

"Hell no, what have I said about work?"

"But, I will be on my lunch break."

"Oh pissing hell Edgar, you are not going to stop until I come and see you at work are you? I will come, but only when you are having a proper break, no working to be done at all when I am there ok?"

"Deal, Wednesday or Thursday are probably the best days as we have a lighter schedule then."

"Right, call me tonight when you have time but not before 7.30, I will be back after then."

Hanging up the phone, the smile returned. I picked up my pen and settled down, determined to get this work done before the appointment and Ed calling. At 5.30, I pulled myself off the sofa, happy with the amount of work I had got done and got myself ready for the office. I arrived at 5.55 to find Brian hopping around outside. 

"Evening Brian, I am here now, let's get inside huh?"

"I thought you weren't coming, I have been here for ages."

"I told you 6 Brian, it's not even that time yet."

I unlocked my office door and walked in, Brian followed in behind and plonked himself down in the usual chair. 

"So what's happened today then?"

"The bitch called me."

"Brian, you need to use her name, we have been through this before." And yes, I know you are thinking what a hypocrite when I call my ex arsehole, but I told you psychologists are crazier than there clients. 

"She is a bitch though."

"That maybe correct Brian but to move forward we need to use her name. What's her name Brian?"

"Jane, the bitches name is Jane."

"That's a start, now why did she call you?"

"She accused me of sitting outside her house."

"And have you?"

"No, I haven't, why would I sit outside her house?"

"So if you haven't done it, why does she think you have?"

"Cos I was walking past one day and she saw me. She says its weird."

"How many times have you walked past Brian?"

"I haven't, I don't like her, I won't walk past her house."

"Brian, look at me. You have been outside her house haven't you?"

Brian refused to meet my gaze, a normal response for him when he knows he has been caught. 

"Brian, look at me. Take some deep breaths and look up. That's it. Now why do you keep going round Jane's house?"

"It's not fair, she has everything, I live in a shitty flat, with nothing in my life, she has my daughter and her new husband and what the hell do I have?"

"That is not a reason to sit outside and watch her though is it?"

"Why not? She left me for him, she destroyed me. I want to get her back."

"We have discussed before that Jane is not likely to take you back. You need to try and achieve some closure Brian so we can move forward. You have been doing so well recently, what caused you to relapse? Did anything else happen?"

"No, I just hate the bitch, I want her to suffer like I fucking suffer."

"Brian, you are very confused today. Do you want Jane back or do you want her to suffer?"

"Both."

Internally I sighed, I had worked with Brian for over a year and we had been making good progress, but he was obviously back to square one. I should explain that Brian's wife had left him after having an affair. This caused him to have a full breakdown, it never surprised me that highly intelligent people could collapse mentally in such a way that left them a wreck. Brian is one of those people, he was a director of an investment bank in the city, he earned millions of pounds a year, was highly intelligent and articulate and yet here he was in my office totally wrecked. He took a sabbatical from work when he had his breakdown and the private clinic he was admitted too referred him to me when he was discharged. 

"Brian, how do you think you can achieve closure? To move forward we need to try and go back over your goals and aims."

"For the bitch to die."

"I will ignore that comment for now Brian. Think about what we have talked about in the past."

"I want someone in my life, I'm lonely."

"That's good Brian, and what would you want from that person?"

"Loyalty and love."

"Excellent, now what do you have to do to achieve this?"

"Love myself and be strong. Not focus on the past but focus on what the future holds."

"Brilliant. Now before Wednesday repeat those words to yourself. You are a good man Brian, you have just lost your way."

The session carried on under a similar vein. Brian knows what he does is wrong, but it's becoming an obsession with him. I was quite glad I had made the time for him today. 

"Well Brian that's the end of today's session. I will see you at your usual time on Wednesday. Just remember everything we have discussed. You need to do the hard work now."

"Thank you Zoe, I really am very grateful. I wish I could find someone like you."

"Brian, that is an inappropriate comment, please do not say that to me again ok?"

"Sorry Zoe. It's just your partner is one lucky man."

"Now, listen, one more comment and I will have to refer you to a different psychologist Brian. Please respect the boundaries that we discussed when you came for your first appointment."

I ushered him out before he could reply and locked the office door behind him, sank back in my chair, and continued to write my notes up on the session. Brian was tough to figure out, you thought you were making massive inroads and it was back to square one overnight. 

None of my clients knew anything about my personal life. Even when I was married I never wore my wedding ring to work. I never ever discuss anything that's going on in my life. I thought back to Brian's comment about 'my partner' and wondered what he meant. Was it just a figure of speech? An assumption? Oh fuck Zoe you are being paranoid, it was an assumption, a woman of my age is bound to be married or have kids. I shut my office up and went outside to hail a taxi back home. Work Zoe shut off and normal Zoe turned on. 

Friends find it weird that literally I have a split personality, work Zoe is nothing like the real me. I have this ability to literally shut out everything but work, I don't have a personality, I just listen, observe and ask questions. 

The taxi soon dropped me home and I collapsed onto my bed. The weekend of drinking and sex was finally catching up with me. 

The next few days were busy with clients and notes and sleeping and of course tweeting and texting. Ed called whenever he could, but the sweetness of him meant he always text me first in case I was with a client. I never really called him, as I was worried about his phone going off through filming and disrupting everything. I hope he doesn't think I'm not into him, as to be honest every time I spoke to him, I was falling a little bit more in love with him. 

Yes, I said the L word. Yes I know I'm mad. It had not even been a week, but I was beginning to believe that fate or destiny or fucking serendipity had played a part somewhere. We were right together, we fit, he was like my male Kat but with added sex extras. We talked about anything and everything on the phone, we tweeted cryptic stuff that only we truly understood and we text the filthiest stuff that we could think of about what we were going to do to each other when we finally saw each other. 

Thursday had been set for me to go and see him on his break from filming. I was shitting myself to be honest. Ed's world was alien to me, he lived the life many dreamed off, but I didn't get it, the hours were hell, he sounded more tired every time I spoke to him. Yes the glamorous side could appeal to some (not me), but what he put in to achieve the other side was hell. 

Thursdays appointments came and went. Work Zoe shut off and normal Zoe switched on. I went straight from work to the set after Ed sent a car to pick me up. I say car like it's all glamorous but I think it was probably just one of 'dodgy Dave's' posher cabs, who knew? I arrived after about 40 minutes at the studios and the car pulled up at security. I gave my name and the guard gave me a badge and told me which way to go. 

I walked slowly to reach the studio when I heard my phone beep. 

"Are you coming tonight?"

"Be patient jobsworth, I am just walking to you now."

"Fantastic, I just have one small scene to shoot and then I am all yours while they set up for the next scene."

"I will make sure I walk slower then, I don't want to disturb you working."

I slowed right down until I was almost pigeon stepping to the studio door. Fuck, I don't want him to be working, it's bloody awkward then. After 5 minutes I reached the door and took a deep breath and pulled it open. I immediately saw I hadn't been slow enough and they were still filming. Waiting by the door was one of the runners (no, not the original one I shouted at) I met on Sunday called Paul. He motioned for me to stay silent and grabbed my arm to lead me across the set. 

Paul directed me to a chair where I sat down, and watched what was going on on a small monitor. He then came back and gave me some headphones so I could listen to what the actors were saying. It surprised me that it was quite interesting. I looked around to see Ed and saw him with headphones on, bent over a monitor, watching the action. Suddenly he shouted 'CUT, PRINT IT' and stood up straight. 

I saw Paul walk over to him and whisper something in his ear, I had a fair idea what was being said, as the minute Paul had finished Ed's eyes swung in my direction and a grin appeared on his face. 

'Right, 90 minute break everyone while we set up for the next scene. Get food and get some rest."

The rest of the team starting leaving the set and going off in all directions, while the set designers got on with rearranging for the next part of filming. Ed walked over to me, still with a big smile on his face. 

"You came? You actually came here. I thought you would bloody bottle it."

"I was tempted, but I wanted to see you. Four days has been hard on me, take pity on this old girl."

"Is pity a new word for......"

"Fuck off jobsworth." I interrupted him while giggling. "But you can come closer and smooch me."

Ed didn't need asking twice, he placed his hands on my cheeks, lent down to where I was sitting and kissed me. It felt so right, his touch was igniting my rampant hormones again. How could I really be feeling like this after less than a week? 

"So, are you just going to sit there, or are you going to let me get you something to eat?"

"Shit, food sounds good, I haven't eaten since this morning as it's been manic. Food, give your woman food Ed."

"My woman?"

"Piss, bugger. Oh you know what I meant."

"I like it, but I had you down as more a feminist than to want to be known as 'my woman'."

"Oh bollocks to all that, I don't give a shite about any of that. Well, maybe slightly if you started acting all caveman-y and wouldn't let me do or say anything I wanted cos I'm your woman then we will have problems, but, I kinda like being your women."

"And I kinda like, that you like being my women."

"Well now that's been decided, can we get the fuck on and get some food?"

"Yep, and then we will take it back to my office to eat."

We strolled over hand in hand to the catering truck, people stopped Ed on the way and asked questions and said hi to me. It was nice but odd, I couldn't wait to get some alone time with Ed. 

I saw Nick at the catering truck and waved at him. He came straight over with his plate of food and said "hey Zoe, you actually came then? He has driven us mad all day saying we have to be finished by this time cos you are coming over and he didn't want you to just sit there while he was working. You made him a right royal pain in the arse."

"What just today he's been a pain in the arse? I thought he was everyday?"

"Well, normally he is, every bloody day, but this week, he's been better, until today."

"I wonder why this week?"

"I am fucking here you know? You don't have to say all this in front of me, I can move away."

"Oh no baby" I replied "you should stay and listen, I wouldn't want to talk behind your back."

"Fuck off the pair of you. Zoe what do you want to eat?"

Looking up at the menu board I told Ed what I wanted and went back to talking to Nick. He was easy it get along with. A little guarded at times, but that was to be expected with a woman who has come into Ed's life for less than a week. Ed returned with our food and we walked over to his office. 

"Without sounding weird Zo, can I just say I have fucking missed you."

Why would that be weird?"

"Cos you know a week and all."

"I have thought about this as well, I have missed you. Can I also tell you something without you freaking out?"

"Eerr yep."

"It doesn't feel like a week. It feels like I have known you forever. I just feel complete and right when you are around. I even thought earlier you are like my male Kat. We just work together. Without you I don't think I would work properly."

"Why would I freak out at that? That's a very sweet thing to say, and to be honest I completely agree. I have had my friends telling me to be careful and why is it all happening so quickly, you haven't known her long enough, but who dictates time? Why is it suddenly ok to say 'I love you' after 6 months even if you had felt it for longer? Who made the rules for the timing of that?"

"Bugger me. What?"

"What?"

"What you just said, you do realise what you just said?"

I could see Ed's brain whirring away, and then clarity hit. "Shit, well, erm, fuck, you know what I meant, it was just erm a figure of speech about timing and shit."

"So, you don't then?"

"Fuck, I think I should just shut up and save myself this embarrassing, awkward situation."

"No, I think you should let it out, what have I said about holding the emotion in? Let it out, it cleanses the soul."

"Well I feel even more awkward now....."

"Oh fuck it, turn around, and tweet it to me. I won't be able to see your face. Here, give me your dinner to hold."

Ed grabbed his phone out of his pocket and I could hear him tapping away. After about 30 seconds my twitter notification beeped. 

"@ZoeD I'm just a boy, with his back to his girl, awkwardly telling her he loves her."

Fuck me royally and put me on a unicorn naked. My mind was blown. The tension in the air was thick, Ed still had his back to me and I needed to respond. Putting our dinners on the floor I started to type.

"@Edwright I'm just a girl, standing behind her boy, starting to cry while saying ditto."

"@ZoeD Don't cry. What if this boy, standing with his back to his girl turned around and kissed you?"

"@Edwright This girl, standing behind her boy would love it."

Tears had started to fall down my face. I was trying to wipe them away when I felt arms wrap around me from behind. 

"I know its crazy, but I really do love you Zo. You make me feel, oh shit it sounds corny but you make me feel like me. Like you know the real me."

"Ed?"

"Mmmmm?"

"Shut the fucking hell up and kiss me. I love you, it is crazy, we are crazy but I do fucking love you."

Ed spun me around, forced his mouth onto mine and kissed me. This kiss was like nothing I had ever experienced before. The emotion from us both came out in this kiss. My hands were in his hair, trying to pull him closer to me which was impossible. His tongue was searching my mouth and meeting mine. I grabbed his lower lip between my teeth and dragged them down it. This was met with a growl from Ed. He pulled away from me and simply said "get the fuck into my office now."

I had never been so forcibly dragged anywhere in my life. Ed had grabbed my arm and pulled me the short distance to his office. Luckily for us it was totally private and as we pushed through the door, the frantic kissing started again. 

Ed pushed me up against his desk and started to pull my skirt up. As he did so I undid his jeans and pulled them down along with his shorts. He was already rock hard, and I was already soaking wet, being in love tended to have that reaction. 

Ed had managed to get my skirt around my waist and was teasing me by slowly taking my knickers down. As much as I wanted him NOW, the teasing felt good. My hips were bucking in anticipation of what he was going to do. As they inched down he littered my inner thighs with small kisses, I groaned with every one, they felt amazing. Once my knickers had been removed, he slowly worked his way back up, still kissing me until he reached my soaking wet cunt. Without any warning, he sucked hard on my clit and it made me almost come instantly. 

"Ed baby, oh my god, I don't want to come yet."

Completely ignoring me, Ed sucked hard again and this time didn't stop within seconds I was coming. 

"Shit, baby, god, I love you, I love you."

The strength of my orgasm surprised me, I have never come that quickly in my life, my hips were up off the desk pressed into his face as I rode out the extreme pleasure rippling through my body. Without missing a beat, Ed lifted his head, a massive smile across his lips, and let his cock enter me. As I was still sensitive I moaned loudly as he entered me and Ed joined in. 

Ed leaned over the desk so he was right on top of me, and slowly thrust inside me again whilst starting to kiss me. "I love you too Zo-Zo, I really do." I lifted my legs to wrap them tightly round his waist as he continued to thrust into me. The emotion I was feeling was of epic proportions, it was like we truly were connecting emotionally as well as physically. I had heard about this happening in sex, but it had never happened to me before.

I ran my nails down his lower back, and then gripped hold of his arse, pushing him into me harder and faster. As the feelings welled up inside I threw my hands above my head and arched my back, wanting him deeper and deeper inside me. 

"Ed, baby, I'm going to come, make me come baby."

With just a few more thrusts I was bucking again in ecstasy. I opened my eyes and saw Ed was not far off joining me. He carried on thrusting in to me, his moans getting louder every time. I felt him suddenly come inside me as he moaned my name over and over again. He collapsed on top of me on top of the desk and kissed me. 

"I love you maybe girl, don't ever change."

"I love you too jobsworth."

We laid for a couple of minutes over his desk, when I turned my head to the side to have a look around.

"I don't wanna break up the love in we are having here Ed, but the plans my arse are on, look kinda important, and I'm afraid they are going to have a great big whacking wet patch when I get up."

Ed tried to hold in a giggle and said "we need those for the next scene we are shooting."

"What the fuck? But you can just print more off yeah?"

"Nope, they are done by a printers off site."

"Get the hell of me now, and find something I can use to try and avoid a very embarrassing wet patch incident. Oh fuck, this can only happen to me can't it? A guy tells me he loves me, we have amazing sex and then I wet patch on your work."

Ed was trying to get off me, but was laughing so much, he was struggling. 

"Ed, stop pissing laughing and fuck off."

"I'm sorry Zo, I really am.... Shit I have just thought of something."

"What?"

"Er, well shit we didn't use anything just then, and you know accidents and crap."

"Bloody hell, that was bad, I am on the pill though so no baby accidents but you know disease and shit. Oh screw my hormones."

"Well I have no diseases, I can assure you of that, I have a full very personal medical before every film. The studio insists."

"Phew, and I'm as clean as a whistle as I had every bloody test under the sun after I caught arsehole with Miss Whiplash. So we can safely say we are both ok, and oh bonus, we can be a bit more spontaneous in future then?"

"Hell yes, like now?"

"No, not like now Mr Pervy, you still have to get me the hell off of this stuff that I am slowly leaking your fluids onto."

Ed burst into more laughing and pushed himself off me. He looked around his office for something to help the situation. Grabbing one of his t shirts he passed it to me. 

"This any good?" 

"Well it's better than nothing I suppose, no tissues around?"

"This is a mans office why would we have tissues?"

"In case you had a wank? I don't know but normal people tend to have tissues around. Right now turn away, while I have to do something non lady like that no man should ever have to witness."

"I have had sex with you, I have licked you in places no one else sees and you are worried about this?"

"Turn around jobsworth. Do it now."

Ed finally turned away while fiddling with his belt and getting himself organised. I did a flying jump off of the desk and had to use Ed's t shirt to wipe the ahem fluids up. I grabbed my knickers and put them back on. I turned back to look at the plans on the desk. 

"Shitting hell Ed, this is not good. They are proper ruined."

"Can I turn round now?"

"Crap, yes sorry you can. How the hell are you going to explain this?"

"Oh Christ they are pretty bad, I will have to say we spilt dinner on them, that's all."

"That could work, no one will know what we have been doing, they will think we were just eating dinner. Yep cool, say that."

"Talking of dinner I'm starving, what the hell happened to our dinner?"

"Oh Jesus, I left the plates on the floor outside when you were tweeting me. Well that's that then."

"Nope I will nip out and get some more, I will be back soon, we still have time in our break."

"Thanks Ed, just the same as before if they have any left."

Ed left me in the office, trying to mop up the wetness from his work. It looked bad, but I think we could get away with saying it was a food spillage, which it kind of was in a sick kind of way. As I carried on wiping I heard my twitter notification beep. What the hell is he tweeting now. 

"@Edwright @ZoeD when the rooms a rocking, I won't come a knocking."

What the actual fuck? I looked at the tweet again, it wasn't from someone I followed as it didn't show in my timeline. I went into mentions and saw the username @SPeggy. Oh shite, we had been well and truly caught. My phone beeped again. 

"@SPeggy Thanks for that Peggy, we were just enjoying dinner. @ZoeD"

"@Edwright @ZoeD I would believe that if I couldn't see you getting more dinner now."

"@Edwright @ZoeD and for the fact one of the crew found your abandoned plates near your office."

Oh great, they all knew, and I still had to get home from here. Maybe the taxi could pick me up from right outside. Screw life and everything it throws at me. 

"@SPeggy you shouldn't be a Pervy McPerv and come looking. @Edwright"

"@ZoeD I was looking for our esteemed leader, you had led him astray. ;-) @Edwright"

"@SPeggy piss off Peggy, or I will take a cricket bat to your head. @Edwright"

Ed then rushed back in the office, passing me my plate of food. 

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know Simon was going to do that."

"Oh fuck him, I think they all knew what we would of been doing anyway, wouldn't you if it was one of them sneaking off?"

"True, very true. And I know Simon and his wife have been caught many a time."

"Oh god, it's just a hotbed of lust in a film set isn't it? Well thank god I won't have to come here again."

"What? Why won't you come again? I want you to come as often as you can."

"Do we have to go through this again, it's your work. Girlfriends don't sit in boyfriends work and watch them work. That's not how things are done in the normal world. And I have my own shit to do, I can't sit here with you every night."

"Fair enough, are you going home after this?" 

"Yep, I need sleep, busy day tomorrow and then I have to get extra sleep to make up for Saturday night."

"You had better be ready for the wild ride jobsworth, it's gonna be the messiest night of your life."


	7. Chapter 7

It was Saturday evening, Kat was round at mine getting ready, the drinks were already flowing and I was expecting Ed at anytime. The ipod was blaring out bananarama and the bad dancing had already started. We laughed as we both tried to remember the dance routines we had made up in the playground when we were 9. 

"No Zo you put your fucking right leg first."

"Piss off we always started on the left."

"Fuck the fuck off we did."

"We bloody did, cos you had this thing about it cos you're a freak and left handed."

"Ah, yeah you might have a sodding point there...."

The doorbell interrupted us as I rushed over to answer it. When I opened the door Ed was looking all cute and did the right thing of eyeing me up and down and said 

"Nice, nice. So you both ready yet?"

"Course we fucking aren't. Come in, get some drinks and watch the most spectacular, shittest dance you have ever seen."

I dragged him in from the doorway and slammed the door. Kat stuck her head round from the bedroom and said 

"Nice to fucking meet you Mr Lover Lover at long last. Get the drinks and then come in."

Kat and I cackled with laughter while Ed shook his head and walked his way to my kitchen. I swear I heard him mutter it was going to be a long night or some such words, but who cares, I had warned him. 

We both retook our places in the bedroom and hit play 'I heard a rumour' came blasting out and we started the dance routine both of us getting it spot on. Ed walked in half way through and erupted into laughter while sitting on my bed. We ignored the interruption and carried on right to the end, hugging and high fiving each other that we had nailed it. 

"You two are going to be hard to control tonight huh?"

"Did she not warn you Ed? Shame on Zo, she should of warned you what we are like together."

"I did warn him, I told him it will get messy, I don't think he believed me, so now it's for him to truly find out. Now give us these drinks and then lets boo boo."

"Boo boo? What the fuck is 'let's boo boo'?"

"It means lets go, get the fuck out of here. It started as teenagers and it has just stuck."

"How the hell does it mean get out of here?"

"Right, in drama there was a poster that said 'exit, pursued by a bear' so we started off saying that, and then it changed to 'pursued by yogi bear' and then it changed to 'yogi and boo boo' and then finally just 'lets boo boo'."

Ed's eyes were sparkling as he listened and his face was alight with what looked like happiness, it might of been wind but who the fuck knew? 

"That is the most stupidest, idiotic, most wonderful thing I have ever heard. Can I steal it? I have a perfect place in my script for it?"

"What? You want to put lets boo boo in a film? Weirdo. What do you reckon Kat? Shall we let him have it?"

"Fuckity fuck hell yes. As long as he does it properly, not just shitly."

"Thank you ladies, I will be kind don't worry. Now come on then drink up we are going to be late for my friends that are coming."

"About these friends Ed, any single ones? Just asking for a friend like?" I nodded my head towards Kat. 

"They might be, but I don't know if they could handle Kat. You will eat them alive huh Kat?"

"And they would pissing love every minute of it. Now hurry the fuck up. And lets fucking boo boo." 

Kat cackled as she laughed which always makes me laugh and in turn Ed was laughing his head off. As we went to walk out of the door, Ed pulled me back slightly and whispered 

"whatever happens tonight, I love you, you make me the happiest man alive."

"I love you too, I just hope you have bail money on you, it may be needed." I kissed his cheek as I pulled away from his ear. 

"Hurry the fuck up you two, no snogging or shagging tonight for you two, you are going to be fucking wrecked."

The worrying thing was I knew she was right. 

We rocked up at the first bar we were meeting Ed's friends at. Kat burst through the door first, dragging my hand with her, while Ed brought up the rear luckily still smiling. I knew he would be alright once we met up with his friends, but I still worried he would feel left out, and also I just wanted to shag him again. 

"What are you drinking then ladies?" Asked Ed being all gentlemanly. 

"Anything alcoholic and wet." Was Kat's reply. 

"Whatever baby, wine maybe?"

"Ok maybe girl, there's the guys over there you know most of them, go and sit down and I will get the drinks."

I dragged Kat over and introduced her as best I could to the assembled group. Looking at them, they were all men. God Kat was going to eat them up. I might of joined her a couple of weeks ago, but now I only had eyes for Ed. As sickening as it sounded no one caught my eye. Even when I was married I liked a good flirt when out with Kat, nothing ever happened, I was a faithful stupid women to the end, but a flirt never hurt anyone. 

Ed came back laden with glasses and a barman bringing over about 10 bottles of champagne. They were plonked on the table with shouts of "cheers boss", "bloody hell mate, thanks" and then Kat shouting "Ed, you're a fucking god. Good man, he's a fucking keeper Zo-Zo."

I moved across so he could sit next to me and squeezed his thigh "thank you baby, you shouldn't of done that."

"Why the hell not? I can afford it, we want a good time and I have a beautiful girl on my arm. Let's celebrate."

"Fuck yes, now get them open and get pouring."

Bottle after bottle was opened, with Kat keeping one and dragging me to the dance floor where we took it in turns to swig from the bottle while dancing. I looked over at Ed every so often and even when he was deep in conversation with someone he would look over to check we were ok. 

"Fuck Kat, I'm feeling tipsy already, that champagne is going straight to my head. I'm getting to be a lightweight. So any of Ed's friends take your fancy?"

"Hell yes, I have my eye on one, when the time is right I will move in for the kill, like the bloody cougar I am. I'm so happy for you Zo, you may have calmed down a bit to quickly for my liking, but he is smitten by you, I want someone to look at me like the way he looks at you. Well maybe not just one man maybe a couple." 

Her cackle was so loud everyone turned to stare at us. I was used to it, and I joined in with her laughing while we hugged and danced together. We danced for over an hour by ourselves while we let everyone get on with chatting. A few times guys had come up to us and we batted them away with insults. Mine just being "fuck off." Kat's being louder and more insensitive with "ugly, fuck off." I made gestures to tell Kat I was going to sit down, she nodded and carried on dancing by herself, she really didn't give a shit and that's why I loved her. 

"Shitting hell I'm knackered babe. And very slightly pissed."

"Really? I couldn't tell the way you swayed back over here."

"Can I snog you?" 

"You don't have to bloody ask you loon."

"Ha, you said loon, I'm rubbing off more than I thought." As I said it I pulled his face towards mine for a kiss. "I love you baby, now snog me like our lives depend on it." 

Ed pressed his lips on mine. My mouth instantly opened and my tongue invaded his mouth. It felt good and fuck I wanted more. The taste of a hot man and champagne was making me horny as hell. I broke away and smiled at him. His friends were all trying to look away at the public display of affection in front of them. 

"Oh come on guys, give us a fucking break, we are new and in love, PDA's are allowed."

John one of the producers on Ed's film piped up "just keep doing whatever you are doing, he hasn't asked for more money since he has been with you." 

The gathered group laughed at Johns words and I just looked confused, I didn't have a fucking clue what he was talking about. 

"Anyway guys how about we move on huh? Let's boo boo Ed."

I walked over to grab Katty who has still twirling around by herself on the dance floor. 

"Come on dancing queen, let's go and get this show on the road."

"LETS BOO BOO ZO-ZO BABY."

We staggered out of the bar, wrapped in each other's arms. I meant Kat and I. Ed was somewhere in the group and I think I heard him trying to explain what boo boo ment to his friends. 

We ended up in an 80s/90s club that Kat and I often went to for a laugh. It was a great night for oldies like us. Some of the younger ones of the group looked a bit worried, but once the drinks started flowing again, everyone seemed to relax. 

Ed brought us another bottle of champagne to share for me and Kat. We declined the glasses and just carried on swigging from the bottle. We are classy chicks like that you see. 

While dancing to Wham, I could see Kat eyeing up the guy she had her eye on. 

"Go over and bloody talk to him."

"I will, give me time."

"No actually go now while you are still only tipsy so you can actually talk and not just fall on him, you bloody lush."

"Ok, Zo, calm your tits down, I can do this, I can just talk to him wish me fucking luck."

"Knock him bandy Kat, be your charming usual self."

I walked back over to Ed's side to watch the show. When Kat turned the charm on, I have never seen anyone resist. For such a foul mouthed woman she really turned it on. I know the little tinkly laugh and the slight touch on the shoulder would be first and within 30 secs she had done just that. 

"Ed, next she will make him laugh and she will run her hand down his arm. Watch its a genius at work." 

As if by magic, AJ laughed loudly and Kat ran her hand down his arm.

"See, I fucking know her so well, next she will drag him to dance."

Within seconds, Kat had taken his hand and led him towards the dance floor, passing me the champagne bottle on the way over with a wink. 

"Fuck, are you two psychic or something, that was weird."

"Nope just know all the moves, she has never been denied. Me lots of times, but Kat never, but then who would, look at her, she's the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."

"No she's not, you are."

"Oh fuck off, you got me, you don't have to say shit to keep me."

"I'm not saying shit, I mean it, why do you always put yourself down about how you look?"

"Cos I'm not a beauty like Kat, or other girls. I have a weird look, frizzy hair and I'm fat."

"Shut up and look at me. You are stunning, you are not fat, your hair can be a little frizzy, especially after sex, but I love it. How many times have I got to tell you this. For someone so smart at work, you don't take compliments well."

"What girl does? We like being told we're beautiful but we never believe it. Wouldn't that be vain and egotistical?"

"Well believe that I think you are."

"Ok, I will try to believe that you think I am. Now let me get you a drink, what you having jobsworth?"

"Can you not think of a nicer nickname for me than that?"

"Yes, I can actually, hold that thought."

I walked over to Kat on the dance floor who was still dancing with AJ to whisper in her ear. She nodded and gave me the thumbs up and then turned back to her dance partner. I made my way back to Ed who was just staring at me. 

"The committee has decided you can be known as Yogi. In honour of you liking our boo boo so much, you have been bestowed this honour. You are the first and only recipient of this award, so do you accept it Mr Wright?"

"Fucking hell. You two are crazy. But I suppose it's better than jobsworth."

"Suppose? Pissing suppose? This is the highest honour in the land, and you just suppose. I may withdraw this bloody offer. Anyway it suits you, so even if you hate it I'm still gonna call you it, Yogi."

"So I have no choice, just like jobsworth then?"

"Nope no choice at all baby, now let me get you that drink."

"Nope I'm getting more drinks in, what do you want?"

"Yogi you can't pay for everything all the bloody time."

"Why not? I want to buy my maybe girl a drink? so what do you want? 

"I would like a Jack please, and can you get Katty one to be a cheeky bitch, that's why I wanted to get the drinks."

"What will Katty have?"

"Same as me, Jack straight up."

"Ok, but I'm worried now the hard stuff is coming out."

"Ah, this is just the beginning Yogi. The night hasn't even fucking started."

"God help me."

John came across and talked to me while Ed went to the bar to get us drinks. We chatted about work and the filming and then he asked how my work was going, it was all nice and informal. I liked John, he seemed to have a good head on his shoulders, and he sang the praises of Ed which helped me to like him. Ed made his way back and I looked down to his hands where he had a bottle of Jack. 

"Fuckity fuck Yogi, we only asked for a glass not a bloody bottle."

"Yeah, but this way it saves me keep going to the bar and waiting in the queue, I knew between the two of you it would soon be gone anyway. You two don't seem to do moderation with drinking."

"Neither would you if you had the jobs we had."

"What does Katty do? I have never asked you."

"Ha you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

I started to pour out very generous measures for the two of us. "Katty is a consultant doctor on a children's cancer ward. She is the youngest ever to make consultant in her speciality."

"Fuck off. You are winding me up."

"Nope, that's the fucking gods honest truth."

"Fuck me, I am stunned. Looking at her, you would never have guessed. She is so, so, erm.....'"

"Wild and free?" I interrupted. 

"Hell yes."

"That's why. She deals with heartbreak every single fucking day. Can you imagine having to tell someone there child will not make it not matter what you do to them? We both shut off completely after work, we don't bring it home, we learnt that the hard way in the beginning."

"I am still stunned. You two are the most confusing women I know."

"Confusing but loveable?"

"Yes, I'll go with that. You are definitely loveable."

"And with that Yogi I'm off for a smoke, keep an eye on Kat for me, make sure she doesn't eat AJ alive."

I walked away to find the smoking area which is out the back of the club. I lit up and inhaled deeply again. Grabbing my phone out of my bag I opened up twitter. 

"Yogi seemed surprised, it's amazing what first impressions can do to a person "

"Loving all my life, Yogi and Kat make me the happiest drunken woman alive."

"Just remember people you heard the words boo boo here first. #Copywrite"

I shut my phone knowing I wouldn't get a response from Ed as he wouldn't be able to hear his notifications in the noise of the club. I was surprised when I heard the usual beep. 

"@ZoeD where are you? Got a wife pass and I need the alcohol."

I was surprised to see it was from Simon. 

"@SPeggy we are at the 90s place in Islington you know it?"

"@ZoeD yep, will be down within the hour, don't go anywhere."

"@SPeggy affirmative Pegg, will inform Yogi you are in the way."

I stubbed out my cigarette and went back to find Ed,who was staring at his phone. 

"I see Simons on his way! He also text me asking who Yogi was, I will now have to explain that story to him huh?"

"Yep sorry babe, anyway surely if you put it in your film you will have to explain it him anyway. So just man up and get over it. It's an honour." 

"I'm still not sure how it's an honour, but I will go with it for now."

Kat and AJ came off the dance floor and joined us, I noticed his arm never left Kat's waist and I winked at her when he wasn't looking. She winked back with a big grin on her face. 

"So fuckers, who's up for tequila?"

"Shit, Kat it's a bit early yet isn't it?"

"Zo-Zo it is never to early for tequila, now come and help me, Ed and AJ wait here a treat is coming to get you."

We both walked off to the bar, laughing together and hugging. I love nights out with Kat, if I didn't have to work I would go out with her every night. Kat pushed her way to the front of the bar and ordered a bottle of tequila. 

The barman said "you mean a shot?"

"Fuck no, the bottle baby, and lemon wedges and salt, all on a tray for me and my friends to down as quickly as possible."

"Ok, coming up."

"Oh bugger me, you are on one tonight Katty. It's going to be so much fun." 

We made our way back over with the tray, Ed took one look and shook his head. He also had a smile on his face, but I could see a little concern in his eyes. 

"Don't worry Yogi, we will look after you, won't we Katty? We will carry you home later on."

"Hell yeah, now come on people lets get it on. AJ pour away my man."

The shots were poured, salt was distributed on the back of our hands, and lemons were at the ready. 

"Come on then, on 4. 1, 2, 3, 4."

The four of us, licked the salt, downed the shot and stuffed the lemons in while shaking our heads and grimacing. 

"Fuck Katty, that tastes like shit." 

"It's strong shit that's why. Don't let me down Zoe, we have to do 3 shots before we can have a break."

"3 more?" Asked AJ with more than little concern on his face.

"Yep, 3 more big boy. One for every person drinking it. You can't wimp out on me?" 

I laughed while looking at Ed's and AJ's faces. The look of concern they had was hilarious. 

"Let's show them how it's done eh Katty?"

I grabbed the bottle filled up our glasses again, and we downed the shots. We repeated this twice more, getting more giggly with every shot. The two men stood next to us open mouthed as we sauntered back off to the dance floor together. 

"This was a good plan tonight Zoe, I'm having a bloody ball."

"Well Ed wanted to meet you properly, he knows you're my bestie. I think he's worried now though."

"Fuck worried, he ain't seen nothing yet, and it's only 11, ha! We are going to that fucking karaoke bar aren't we?"

"We will, we will just have to try and get everyone really drunk first. They don't seem to be trying as hard as us, and we have to wait for Simon to get here."

"Who's Simon?"

"Simon Pegg the actor. The one from hot fuzz with the blonde hair."

"Fuck he's coming?"

"He is happily married Katty, and don't even go there, he is the main character in Ed's film, do not do anything at all. Just be polite and nice and oh who the fuck am I kidding."

"Nah, I don't fancy him, but he's a dude, like a proper dude. Oohhh I hope he likes tequila."

I looked round and saw that Simon had joined Ed and AJ and were looking over towards us. I waved and carried on dancing. 

"Simon is here Katty, how about I introduce you we get some more drinks and you carry on charming AJ?"

"Only cos, you wanna stand next to lover boy. But yeah, sounds like a pissing plan, these new shoes are crippling me anyway, I think I need a break from dancing."

We walked over, well when I say walked we were swaying heavily at this time, there was no way either of us could pull of a sexy walk with the amount of alcohol we had consumed. I introduced Kat to Simon who immediately told him he was a 'fucking dude' which seemed to go down ok. We poured hefty measures of JD and poured more tequila shots. After downing the shots we went and found somewhere to sit down. It was quite a bloody challenge as we now had so many bottles of drink to carry, and we were swaying and staggering all over the place, people kept staring at us. 

After we were sat we poured out more tequila and lined them up. The five of us at the table with the exception of Simon were all fairly merry, or in mine and Kat's case plastered, that we necked the shots quickly. 

"Bloody hell Yogi, we are going to feel this in the morning huh sweetheart?"

"I'm bloody feeling it already, I haven't drunk this much since..."

"That time in New York when we went to that bar and ended up singing." Interrupted Simon. 

"Fuck yes, I had forgotten about that."

"Oohhh Simon tell me more, was it shameful?" I asked. 

"My lips are sealed, you will have to ask your fella there if you want the gory details. I have a feeling this evening might get as messy if the state of you two ladies is anything to go by."

"Never a fucking truer word has been spoken dude." Said Kat who I noticed was groping AJ's leg as they sat next to each other. 

"How about a shit selfie to remember this evening? Cos I don't think I'm going to remember it in the morning." I grabbed my phone out of my bag and made everyone bunch up so we could fit us all in. We all tried to smile, I snapped the photo and then opened my twitter app. 

"The tequila is flowing, the inhibitions are falling, it's gonna be a good one."

"Yogi, what are you going to do to me later?"

"Crap, what? And babe you said that far too loudly."

I looked at our group and noticing they were all smiling and looking at us. 

"Fuck off, this is a private conversation." I said in response.

I moved closer to Ed and whispered "so what's it going to be?"

"I think to bed with two paracetamol and some water don't you?"

"Fuck no. I want you to rip my clothes off, and then lick me all over and then take me on the sofa."

"Errr ok, shall we just see how it goes?"

"And then I want to sit on your lap, with my legs wrapped tightly around your waist and ride you till you are screaming my name."

"That sounds a plan."

"And then I want to suck your cock until you come in my mouth and I swallow everything."

"Erm Zoe my darling, that sounds wonderful and amazing, but can we not talk about it right now? It's kinda doing stuff to me that means someone else is going to have to get anymore drinks for us now."

I started nibbling his ear as I then whispered "why? Do you want me now baby?" I could see him swallowing hard as he tried to control his composure. 

"I want you all the bloody time, now stop, our friends do not want to see this."

I moved my hand higher up his thigh "but I want you now Ed, fuck I want you now."

"Stop it. This is not fair. Do you want me to drag you home?"

"No, I just want to know how much you are gagging for it, oh and just as a side note, my office is about a 30 second walk from here." 

"Get your stuff now."

I loved this gagging for it Ed, now how to make our escapes without being seen, I knew we would only have about 15 minutes before they knew what was going on. 

"I'm off for a smoke, see you in a little while people."

I got up and walked towards the exit, I looked back and saw Ed make some excuse to get away. He caught up with me outside. Giggling I dragged his arm to make it to my office. 

I opened the door, and Ed slammed it shut behind him. He pushed me roughly up against it, while starting to kiss me. 

"I want you baby, lift your dress up, I fucking need you now."

While I started hitching up my dress and taking down my knickers, Ed undid his belt and jeans. Still pressed up against the door, Ed lifted me with his hands under my arse and I wrapped my legs around him. I moved my hand towards his cock, and guided it in to enter me. It felt so good. The mixture of lust, alcohol and hormones took over, we were rampant and frenzied in our thrusts, we knew we had no time and we both needed this release. 

"Oh baby, your cock feels good, fuck me harder Ed, please fuck me harder."

Ed grabbed my arse harder which felt divine, I squeezed my legs tighter around him, and pulled hard on his hair with my hands round his neck. I began to feel the beginnings of my orgasm, I could feel me getting tighter around his cock. 

"Yogi, I'm getting so close, yes, oh god, yes that's it, right there."

Within a few more thrusts, I felt myself contract hard around his cock, as I screamed his name over and over. He shouted out my name and I could feel him coming inside me, hot liquid spilling into me. 

"Fuck, that was good. I needed that."

"I can't believe we have left our friends to do this, you are a bad influence maybe girl."

"Oh, so you are complaining huh? Sometimes you just need a quickie, and it's classier doing it in my office than the disabled's or something."

"What the hell is the disabled's?"

"You know in the disabled toilets."

Ed started laughing so fiercely I thought he was going to drop me. "You have done it in the disabled's?"

"Not me, but Kat has. Now baby put me down, I'm worried you are going to drop me."

I unwrapped my legs from his waist and he carefully dropped me to the floor. I dashed over to my desk to grab some tissues. I did not want wet patches on my dress. 

"I need to bring my notebook out with you and Kat, the things you say and have done, they are brilliant."

"Yeah, but you won't use them in your films will you?"

"Maybe."

"That's my line."

"I would never use anything you were not happy with, now we had better get back Zo, they are going to know you didn't smoke for that long, and I have definitely had the longest piss in history."

"Oh who cares if they know, I bloody don't anymore" 

We tidied ourselves up, with Ed assuring me I didn't look like I had just been shagged and I began to lock up my office. As we started walking up the street I thought I saw someone looking at me, but shook it off as alcohol induced haze. 

"I love you Yogi, even though you make me horny as hell, I love you."

"I love you too maybe girl, don't ever change your spontaneity and your seductive ways."

"Well I hardly had to seduce you, you were bloody gagging for it."

"True, true. Now smarten up, we are here, stick some lip gloss on and smile. Shall I go in first."

"Why bother they know exactly what we have been doing, we have that just fucked glow around us. Be proud that at our age we can still get away with it."

We held hands and walked back in with our heads held high and with dirty grins on our faces. Our group were still in the same place as we walked back up. 

"You did the fucking disabled's didn't you Zo-Zo?"

I looked up at Ed with a serious look and said "I can honestly say we didn't do the disabled's."

"Well you did it bloody somewhere as you have that fucked look about you.......... Ah shit you went to your office. Ha. Knew it."

Simon and AJ looked back and forth between us as this exchange went on with rye smiles on their faces. Ed was mortified and just looked at the floor.

"Ok, yes we went and had a quickie, yes it was in my office, and no I don't give a shit that you all know."

"Nice Zo-Zo nice, maybe have to borrow those keys later on." And we both cackled with laughter. The three men looked on in amusement.


	8. Chapter 8

"What the fuck happened in my head?"

"Morning baby, you suffering?"

"Yes, don't shout. What happened last night Ed? And where the fuck am I?"

"You are at my house, Kat went home with AJ and Simon is here in the spare room."

"Shit, I don't even remember getting home, the last thing I can remember is me and Kat singing 'especially for you' on karaoke."

"Oh it went on longer than that. You gave us your rendition of 'endless love' and then bananarama and I think you finished on 'its raining men'."

"Oh god I'm sorry Ed. Was it bad, my head feels like it was bad."

"It got bad when you and Kat finished a whole second bottle of JD without any help from anyone. That's what finished you off. Even Simon commented that he hadn't seen anyone drink as much as you two and not be in a coma. That takes some going as Simon knows some real drinkers."

"Did we embarrass you? I'm sorry if we did."

"Of course you didn't, you could never embarrass me. You were hilarious."

"I don't know if hilarious is good. Come and hug me baby, I need a hug. Oh and Ed did we errr you know do anything when we got in?"

"No baby, Simon and I had to carry you in, there is no way anything else was going to happen."

"Oh thank god, I don't like the thought of me missing out on hot sex by not remembering it."

"Well, you have no worries. Not that I wasn't tempted, especially while getting your clothes off, but I was a gentleman."

"I bet you had a good old look though?"

"Too bloody right, I may be a gentleman but I'm still a man."

I snuggled into his chest more with my head, and littered his chest with kisses. 

"You are the perfect combination, a gentleman when it matters but still a perv when I want you to be."

My hand stroked his stomach, as my head banging started to subside. I felt Ed lift his head off the pillow and kiss the top of my forehead. I lowered my hand on his stomach and carried on dragging my nails over it. Every time my hand got lower and lower until it was just above his cock. I could see he was starting to get hard, so my hand went lower as I ran my nails very softly down the length of the shaft. 

"Mmmmmm Zoe, that's not fair, not when you are suffering so much."

"Sshhhhhh, don't say anything."

My hand gripped round his cock as I started to move it back and forth, very slowly. 

"Zo, god baby, you feel good."

"Sshhhhh, no talking, just silence and us."

I looked up at him, while my hand still worked on his cock, and pressed my lips on his. He responded with a low groan in my mouth as my tongue sought entry into his mouth. I felt his hand move down my back and it came to rest between my legs. It was my turn to moan into his mouth, a small groan, that seemed to spur him on to gently open my legs with his hand and start gently teasing me. 

My hand moved faster on his cock, the anticipation of what was coming for me, sub consciously making me doing it. I felt him insert one finger into me and my hips pushed forwards. He was slow and rhythmical and I wanted more, but didn't want to speak. I then felt him insert another finger which made me moan out loud. Shit, Zoe come on no noise. 

He fucked me with his two fingers as I ground my hips onto his hand. Wanting more but not being able to vocalise it. It was actually an incredible turn on, not being able to speak, finding what each other wanted by touch and sight alone. 

Ed flicked his thumb up to my clit and I gasped. It made me momentarily stop the attention I was giving to his cock as it took my breath away. He made small circles with his thumb on my clit while still having two fingers inside of me. The warm feeling starting to invade my parts as I could feel the start of the crescendo that was too come. I bit his lower lip that I knew he loved, and again I heard his low growl. As if to get his own back he inserted a third finger into me and started to pump faster and press my clit harder. I had to stop kissing him as I bit my own lip to stop me screaming out. All the rest of my senses were being heightened from not being able to vocalise exactly how he was making me feel. 

Damn me and my stupid mouth, telling him not to talk. It seemed like a good idea at the time, not so much now. 

I felt my muscles starting to contract, and I threw my head back off his shoulder trying to control myself and to stop myself from screaming out. My hips bucked as I came the most intense orgasm I had ever had, I wondered if it was so intense because I couldn't vocalise how good it made me feel. He slowed his fingers right down and I could feel myself still contracting round his fingers. I moved my head across to kiss him and he removed his fingers from me with a smile on his face.

As we were kissing I moved my body over till I was on top of him, his cock still rock hard pressing into my thigh. 

"Zo?"

"Sshhhh."

I lifted my hips up and then lowered myself on to him. Both of us letting out a simultaneous very quiet moan, and when I looked down at him he was biting his lip, just as I was mine. This was the time for slow sensual sex, not rampant like the night before. I lifted my hips off him until only the tip of his cock was still in me and then pressed down hard and slow again. He moved his hand to my hair and pulled my head down to kiss him. It was a hard, and emotion filled kiss. I carried on the slow thrusting and he threw his head back on every thrust. I knew we both wanted to scream out, and I loved that we both were practicing this self control. Nothing was going to stop me taking it slowly, I wanted to just sit up and ride him and explode with screaming, but the intensity had got to me. 

Ed's hands started touching everywhere on my body, and then came to rest on my arse, and with every hard but slow thrust he squeezed so hard as if pushing him in me more. I didn't think this sort of movement would make either of us come, but again I could feel myself building up. Looking at Ed's face I hoped he was feeling the same. He seemed to be concentrating so hard on the moment, his eyes screwed tightly shut and his head back showing the expanse of neck that I just wanted to kiss. After more thrusts I could feel that I just needed to let go and come, the passion I felt for this man was overwhelming. I think Ed sensed that I was ready to let go, he just opened his eyes and nodded as I felt wave after wave of such intense pleasure flood through my body. Ed joined me soon afterwards moans escaping from his lips ever though he was biting his lower lip so hard to stop himself. Feeling his hot liquid inside of me had never felt so good. I stopped moving my hips and lowered my head to his to kiss him. I then heard him whisper "I love you so much baby. Always be mine"

Tears came to my eyes as I could genuinely feel and see the love coming from him. "I love you too and I always will"

I lay on top of him, neither of us saying anything, I was just thinking of what we had just shared. After a few minutes I moved off him and laid my head on his chest in the exact same position I had been before this moment. 

"Yogi, was that a bit of a head fuck?"

"Oh hell yes, I'm still trying to comprehend what the hell happened to be honest."

"But a good head fuck?"

"A very good one. I have never felt so aware of what was happening but at the same time not being able to vocalise it."

"We are meant to be I think. It's been just over a week and I'm in love with you, we have had mind blowing almost verging on tantric sex, and I never want this to end."

"It won't end, not ever."

"Everything ends baby, one way or another."

"Not until we are old and have been together for hundreds of years it won't."

"So what's the secret to living hundreds of years then baby, cos if you know if we can sell it and be billionaires and stay in bed all day just shagging."

"Ha, you would get bored eventually."

"Not with you next to me I wouldn't. I hate not seeing you for a day or two, I would never get bored of us."

"Yes you would, you will enjoy the peace when my press junkets come around and I'm in the states for a few weeks."

"A few weeks? When is this?"

"Oh god, not till next year, when the film is released, we have a whole tour planned going around cinemas and places, promoting the new film."

"Fuck and you won't be around at all?"

"No, sorry baby, it's about 6 weeks of solid work."

"I hadn't even thought of that part of your job, shit."

"You have Kat to keep you occupied. You won't even know I am gone."

"Well, I'm not going to think about it, it's ages away, let's live for the moment. Now if you loved me you would get me some toast and a brew huh?"

"Anything for you, I had better see if Simon is awake as well. I doubt it, as he was pretty wasted in the end as well. It was a good night though. I think Simon recorded you and Kat at one point you might want to check YouTube at some point."

"Fuck, don't tell me that. I would be mortified." 

"You two were not too bad actually, it was a bit Bridget Jones, but hilariously funny."

"Piss off and get me toast Yogi. I like that name for you, it feels right."

"I'm glad you do, I'm still not sure, and would prefer it if you didn't say it in front of everyone."

"Be proud Yogi, be proud of your new name, now please get me some toast and a brew?"

Ed left and I snuggled back down into the bed. I hugged myself as I thought over the week we had had. Just over a week ago, I was finally divorced, now I have a fabulous man who actually loves me. Life has a habit of throwing curve balls your way when you least expect them, and mine was the most fabulous thing that has every happened to me. 

A few minutes later while I lay back in silence I could hear laughing and music from Ed's kitchen. 

"Sshh she will hear you, have you really put that on twitter?"

"Fuck yes, it was hilarious. It has been retweeted over 15,000 times already."

"Oh Peggy, I hope your wife didn't like your balls as I think Zo and Kat may be cutting yours off."

"What the fuck will I be cutting off and why?" I stood at the door looking at them both. 

The two men in front of me looked at the floor, refusing to meet my eyes. 

"Don't be pissing mute, tell me what you have done."

"Ok baby, now don't be mad, but Simon put that video of you and Kat on twitter when you were singing 'especially for you'."

"What the actual fuck? Simon how could you?"

"It's good Zoe, people love it, there have been thousands of retweets and comments. And I checked your account and Kat's and you have both got over 20,000 followers now."

"And I would want that why? Oh god just let me get the humiliation over and done with let me see the video."

Simon passed his phone over to me and I hit play. I could see Kat and I swaying badly as we held our microphones up. At least we looked drunk and not like we were serious. The singing wasn't too bad, I winced a few times as we started warbling Mariah Carey style very badly, and I actually burst out laughing as we danced together and Kat fell off the stage. I looked over at Ed and Simon who you could tell where trying not to laugh. 

"Shit we look really drunk "

"You were drunk, you were very drunk, I have the other songs recorded if you want to see those as well, I haven't put those ones online yet, I may need to save those for blackmail."

"Sod off Simon. You wait I will get my own back, you don't know what Kat and I are capable of yet."

"Well, if it's drinking you would beat me hands down. Where the hell do you put it? And how are you even awake yet?"

"Years of practice through medical school, you have to build up your tolerance and never stop when you reach the desired level."

"Did Kat go to medical school as well then?"

"Did Ed not tell you?"

"Fuck no, I completely forget after we got to that Karaoke bar. Guess what Kat does for a living Simon?" Ed replied. 

"Have no idea, but it's got to involve working in a bar hasn't it?"

"Wrong" replied Ed. "She is a consultant doctor for children's cancer isn't she Zoe?"

"Bullshit." Shouted Simon "that is bullshit."

"I'm afraid not Simon, that is exactly what she does. I know its hard to believe, people don't believe either of us normally when we tell them what we do, but it is the truth."

"Bloody hell. You really shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but now you mention it I know you doctors party hard, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised."

"Work hard and play harder, only thing that will get you through medical school and the first few years in a hospital. You would collapse with depression and a breakdown if you didn't let the steam off. Especially with what Kat does."

"Well you tell Kat anything we can do to help we will huh Ed? Go and visit the kids, donate stuff, anything. No one should have to go through cancer especially not children, it's fucked up that is. It makes me hug my children that bit more you know what I mean?"

"Yep, I know exactly what you mean. Kat had some tough days in the beginning, still does I suppose, but you shut it off, work stops the minute I walk out of my office. I will tell Kat about your offer, would Nick get involved as well? Maybe you shouldn't go as Shaun of the Dead characters, you would terrify the kids, but something could be done."

"Anything she wants, just ask. It seems we are going to be seeing a lot of you Zoe so you may use us for your means."

"Oohhh use you? I like the sound of that. And don't think your generous offer has made me forget about that video. Revenge will be mine Pegg."

All three of us laughed and Simon excused himself to leave and go and face the wrath of his wife for not going home last night. Ed returned from seeing him out as I was sat on his worktop in just his shirt that I had found in his wardrobe. 

"You're looking hot and still remarkably well for someone who drank so much."

"It's all the sex we are having, it's making me young and alive again." 

"Just the sex? Or could it be me as well?"

"Of sod off Mr Fishing for Compliments. Yes it's probably you as well. Well to be honest you are providing the head fuck sex so it's got to be you as well. I'm still thinking about that you know, it's was amazing."

"It will be one of the only things I am thinking of when I'm working not seeing you this week."

"Do you want something else to remember me by?"

"What did you have in mind?"

I sat up straight and started undoing the buttons on his shirt that I was wearing. I could see his eyes lowering as he watched me. I threw the shirt off and onto the floor "whatever you want to do to me Yogi, what ever you want to do to me."


	9. Chapter 9

ZOE

I didn't see Edgar at all the next week, he was manic with work and so was I. Clients were falling apart at the seams and Brian was demanding a session every single day, he really was in a bad way. By the time Friday came round I was so exhausted I even turned down Kat for a night out. I think she was secretly relieved as it seemed she had been up all hours meeting up with AJ for sex after they had both finished work. 

On my way back from the office, I stopped off at the shop to buy some food for dinner tonight when I say food it consisted of 20 cigarettes, a bar of chocolate and some microwave popcorn, I shouldn't wonder why I am overweight should I?

As I was leaving, I bumped into Brian. 

"Hi Brian, what are you doing round here?"

"Zoe, good to see you, you just off home?"

"Err yes, well I will see you on Monday, try and have a nice weekend."

"Do you want to come for a drink Zoe?"

"Sorry Brian no, that is not an appropriate thing to happen. Ok?"

"Let me at least give you a lift home?"

"No, it's fine, I have more stuff to do, so I'm not going straight home."

"You can't walk home this late Zoe, is your boyfriend not coming to meet you?"

Fuck, how does he know about that?

"Brian, you need to stop asking these questions. I am going to have to refer you to another psychologist, your actions are not appreciated."

"He doesn't deserve you Zoe, you are too good for him."

"Please move out of my way now."

"No, just listen to me and then I will leave."

Shit, Zoe talk your way out of this one. He really is on the edge.

"Brian, I will see you on Monday for your last appointment with me, and then we can discuss anything you want to say ok?"

"No bitch, get in my car and we can talk now."

As he said it he grabbed me arm, and pulled me towards his car outside. I tried to shrug him off my arm but his strength defeated me. 

"Brian, you are hurting me, I know you are not meaning too, please let my arm go and we can talk about this."

"Get in the fucking car first. I need to talk to you Zoe, you are the only one that understands. Your husband left you, you know what I am going through."

"How do you know that about me?" Panic was beginning to rise in my voice. None of my patients were supposed to know anything about my personal life. 

"I know your new boyfriend just gets you drunk all the time and wants to fuck you in your office like your some piece of meat."

This shit has just got real. 

"Have you been following me Brian? Were you watching me that night last week?"

"Yes, cos I wanted to keep you safe. He will hurt you Zoe, they all hurt us."

"No they don't, now try and remember your exercises I taught you."

"Fuck you Zoe, get in the car."

"I'm not going to get in your car, you are going to let go of my arm and let me walk away before you do something that you will regret."

As the words left my mouth, Brian opened the car door with his free hand and pushed me inside. He really was surprisingly strong. I could feel sick beginning to make its way into my mouth. We were not taught in medical school how to deal with a man pushing you into his car. Think Zoe think. 

"Brian if I let you drive me home, will you then let me get out of the car?"

"Shut up Zoe stop talking, let me think."

"This has got to stop now, you can still walk away from this."

"Shut up bitch, why don't you fucking listen. None of you bitches listen, I thought you were different, but you're the same as that other bitch."

I knew this was not going to end how I wanted it to ie. In the next two minutes. So tried to feel in my pocket for my phone. I was trying to visualise the buttons on my phone to try and press them while in my pocket. I hit what I thought was my phone button and hit favourites and just randomly tapped. Hoping to get either Ed or Kat. I didn't know if it had connected or not, but tried to give some clues if someone has answered. 

"Brian, where are you taking me? What do you want to happen?"

"I said shut the fuck up bitch, you are trying to confuse me, I won't let you. You are a slut like the rest of them. You letting that man touch you like that. He doesn't love you like I do."

"He does love me, he loves me very much. Just tell me where you are taking me."

"Somewhere that he can't have you back. Somewhere far away. I love you Zoe I always have done, you know the real me. No one else does only you. I know you love me too."

"I don't love you, I want to help you, let me help you Brian. Let me call a colleague who will be able to help you a lot better than I can. I think we need to look at your medication. If I just call them now."

I slowly went to pull my phone out of my pocket, to try and have a look at the screen, my heart fell when I realised I hadn't called anyone at all. I had managed to get my favourites open, but not pressed the call button. 

"Get your hand out of your pocket you fucking bitch, you are not calling anyone."

I hit call to Ed and quickly stuffed it back in my pocket. 

"It's out, I won't call anyone, I promise you. Now please let me go, I want to go home."

"Your home is with me."

With those his last words he started the car engine and drove off. Panic had set in deep inside me, I was trying to stay calm, but my work mode was drained. I had nothing left but panic and fear. I looked up at Brian driving and saw a look that I thought was determination in his eyes. I had never seen him like this and it terrified me. Praying Ed had answered I said 

"Brian, you can't take me like this, we can't drive around all night, please just stop the car and let me get out. I won't go to the police, I just want to get you some help."

"I said shut the fuck up you slut." And with that he slapped me hard across the face. 

I tasted iron in my mouth and knew he had split my lip, tears started to roll down my cheeks. I knew I was in trouble and I had no idea if Ed had answered his phone, he may have still been filming which he wouldn't have answered. I cursed to myself I should of called Kat. 

I tried to get my phone back out of my pocket without Brian seeing it. He saw what I was trying to do and grabbed the back of my hair and slammed my head into the dashboard. That was the last thing I remember. 

ED

Filming had run late, I was fed up and tired and missing Zoe like mad. Sunday seems so long ago, speaking to her was not the same, I wanted her here with me all the time. I could feel my phone buzzing in my pocket but I wanted to finish the last scene we had to film for the day before answering any calls. I will regret that decision for the rest of my life. 

When I finally called "cut, print it" for the final time of the day, I breathed a sigh of relief as everyone started packing up around me. I pulled my phone out and saw it was Zoe that had called, my heart skipped a beat. Just the sound of her voice made me so happy. I dialled my voicemail to listen to what she had to say. It was unusual for her to call me when I was at work as she was paranoid about disturbing me working, something which she could never do. I smiled at the anticipation of hearing her voice.

"we can't drive around all night, please just stop the car and let me get out. I won't go to the police, I just want to get you some help." 

What the fuck was that. I hit my phone to replay the message and just heard the same. Zoe sounded different not her normal self, she sounded anxious and upset, something I had never heard before. I then heard a man shout and what sounded like a slap. Maybe she was watching a film or something and forgot to hang up. 

My brows furrowed as I tried to work out what the hell had happened. I saw Simon and Nick walking past and grabbed them. 

"What does this sound like to you? It's Zoe but it's not normal Zoe, I'm worried about her."

I hit replay again and the three of us stood and listened. 

"Don't know what the fuck that is, but it doesn't sound good, have you tried to call her back?" Said Simon. 

"No shit, I have been so worried about her message."

I tried to call her back and it just rang and rang and went to answer phone. I tried three or four more times, but the same happened. 

"Nothing, no answer. What the hell do I do?"

"Have you tried Kat? Maybe she knows?" Replied Simon. 

"I don't have her number. Fuck. This is odd. Zoe would of only called after she has finished work. And to be honest she never calls me when I'm working."

"Let me get Kat's number of AJ and we can try her, maybe they have got drunk together and don't have a bloody clue what's going on."

Nick put his arm around my shoulders and spoke quietly. "It's gonna be fine mate, I have only met her a couple of times, but she is amazing, it will be as Simon says, her and her friend at the pub or something."

"But she sounded so anxious and scared. That is not the Zoe I know, from the first time I met her she was so assured. It's why I fell in love with her."

Simon came back over with AJ and holding Kat's number on a piece of paper. 

"AJ says Kat wasn't seeing Zoe tonight as Zoe was too tired so he was going over to see Kat after work. Maybe the plans changed though. You know what those two are like. They probably met for one quick one and a bottle has been polished off already. Call Kat and find out."

I dialled Kat's number as quickly as possible and prayed she was in a bar somewhere drunk and with Zoe. 

"This is Kat, you had better be a hot man calling me."

"Hi Kat it's Ed."

"Shit, sorry Ed, just joking. Didn't have your number saved. Everything ok?"

"Is Zoe with you?"

"Nope it's just me all alone, shaving my legs waiting for you to let my gorgeous shag fest out of work why?"

"I have had an odd message from her, and she is not answering her phone."

"I spoke to her a couple of hours ago and she said she was knackered and was going home to wine and a bath. Maybe she fell asleep?"

"No, it wasn't that long ago she sent the message, fuck, this is weird. It sounded like someone had her in a car and she said she wouldn't call the police she just wanted to get help."

"Well that does pissing sound odd. Are you sure it was Zoe? Maybe she arse dialled you while watching tv?"

"No it was definitely Zo. I know her voice anywhere, but it was an upset Zoe. I haven't heard her upset but it was unmistakable."

"Fuck I need to hear this message, how can I hear it?"

"I don't fucking know, I'm on my phone now. Hold on I will call you back from Simon's phone and then speaker my voicemail. Call you back."

Simon had heard what I had said and had his phone out ready for me. 

"Take it she's not with Kat then?" 

"Nope, she hasn't spoken to her for a couple of hours."

I dialled Kat's number again and waited for her to answer. 

"Ed?"

"Yep, right are you ready to listen?"

"Yep."

I hit my voicemail and turned the volume right up. The same message replayed, it made me shiver every time I heard it, and I was sure it was a slap at the end. 

"Ed call the fucking police."

"What? "

"Call the fucking police, she is in trouble."

"Are you fucking sure Kat, don't wind me up."

"I have known her since I was seven years old, she is terrified, someone has taken her, she was trying to portray calm to whoever it is, but she is terrified. She must of dialled you on purpose and tried to give you some clue. God she's a smart bitch. Please call the police now."

I turned to my friends next to me and explained what Katty had just said. I was struggling to control my emotions. Nick took control and called the police while I carried on speaking to Kat. 

"Are you absolutely sure about this?"

"As sure as you're breathing. I know her too well. Her saying she wanted to get them help makes me think its a client. The slapping noise is a worry, but she's not only smart but a tough bitch. Can I meet up with you? Where will we go?"

"Have you got keys to Zoe's? We should meet there, I am about 40 minutes away though."

"I have keys, I will go there now, can you tell AJ what's happened, and to come there as well."

"He already knows, he gave us your number, we will leave now. Call me if you hear anything, you promise?"

"Of course I fucking will, I will save your number now, and the same goes for you. Let me know what the police say as well."

I hung up and rushed to the office to grab my coat and car keys. It wasn't until I looked behind that I saw AJ, Simon and Nick all coming with me. 

"You guys go home to your families, they need to see you."

"Fuck off mate, we are staying with you until this is over, you're our best mate" replied Nick, who was still holding for the police. 

Simon saw my car keys on the desk and grabbed them before I could. "I'm driving us mate. You carry on getting through to the police with Nick, she lives near you right?"

"Yep only about ten minutes away, I will give you directions as we get nearer."

We all jumped in my car and Simon roared off. Nick was finally through to the police and trying to explain what had happened. He passed the phone across as they wanted more information as to what had happened. I tried to explain as best I could without sounding crazy and gave them the address of Zoe's to meet us. I hung up and gave Nick his phone back. 

"Call your wife, tell her what's happening, I don't want you getting into shit because of me."

"Just relax, she's smart, she will get out of this, maybe she is already at home and going to call you any minute to explain what has happened."

"I fucking hope so, I can't lose her Nick, I know you all think I'm fucking nuts cos it's been a few weeks, but, I love her so much, I have never felt like this about anyone. She completes me, she really is my serendipity girl."

"Well that's romantic and shit, and yes you are slightly nuts, but we will get her back. I promise you mate, nothing will happen to her, and then you can marry her and have a million babies with her for all I care. But, she will be safe."

"Thanks I think, Nick. You are a git but I love you mate."

The journey seemed to take a lot longer than the 40 minutes it normally took. Even with Simon driving like a maniac it took 50 minutes, as we pulled up I jumped out straight away and ran up the stairs to Zoe's flat. Banging the hell out of the door, Kat jumped to answer it and I saw two policeman behind her. 

"Thank fuck you are here, the police came about 10 minutes ago but they can't do much without the voicemail message. I think they are also hiding something, but they won't tell me Jack shit, come and kick their arse Ed."

"Thanks Kat, stay here and wait for AJ and Simon and Nick yeah?"

I entered the flat and introduced myself to the policemen. I then grabbed my phone out and played them the voicemail. They asked to hear it over and over until one officer left the room. 

Nick, Simon and AJ then entered the room and I realised just how small Zoe's flat really was. There was no room for anyone to move. 

"Mr Wright did Ms Davis normally go to any shops after work do you know?" Asked the policeman who had stayed in the room. 

"I'm fucked if I know, probably, we don't tend to see each other in the week as I have been working late nights filming. Why?"

"No reason at the moment we are just investigating a report earlier of a distressed female being put in a car."

"What the fuck, and what are you doing about this?"

"We have officers going to see the CCTV from the shop and then we will take it further if needs be, it could of just been a domestic between a couple."

"Where was the shop?"

"I cannot say at this moment."

"Well what the fuck can you tell us." Shouted Kat from behind. "Some nutter has got my baby and you can't tell us anything. Get out their and find the maniac and get her back here with me."

"I'm sorry madam, we are doing all we can with the information we have at the moment, you need to calm down...."

"Calm down? Calm the fuck down? I will calm down when you do your fucking job and find her. If anything happens to her I will blame you and sue your fucking shitty arse."

AJ and Simon walked over to Kat and gently led her away and sat her down in Zoe's bedroom. I could hear her crying and it broke my heart all over again. 

"Officer, please can you tell us anything?"

"Mr Wright as soon as we have more information we will tell you. Do you have a recent photo of Ms Davis that we can use?"

"I don't know, fuck, no, but Simon has video. Let me get it."

I got up and walked to Zoe's bedroom and called Simon out. 

"Have you got that video Simon, I don't have a photo of her, how could I not have one?"

"Yes you do, you have the one she took of all of us on that night out last week. She uploaded it to twitter remember?"

"Yes, fuck brilliant, my mind is all over the place."

I walked back in and showed the officer the photo, he asked me to send a copy to his phone and then he also left to meet up with the officer who was standing outside still on the phone. 

"What can we do Nick? Can we go out looking for her?"

"No mate, we have just got to sit it out. Where would we start?"

I had no time to reply as both officers came back into the room. 

"Mr Wright, we want to ask you to view some CCTV, we need an official identification. Would that be ok?"

"Yes, that's fine, just show me."

One policeman gave me his phone and pressed play. On the screen was a bad quality shop CCTV camera showing the road outside. Within a few seconds I saw Zoe being dragged by the arm, by a middle aged man who looked deranged. Tears pricked my eyes as I saw the way he was pulling her. 

"That's her, that's my Zoe, who is he?"

"We don't know Mr Wright, we are trying to find out so we can see if the car is registered to him, from the angle of the CCTV we can't get the registration number. Do you know who her patients were today?"

"No, I have no idea, we didn't discuss her work like that. Her files will be in her office if she used them today. They won't be here."

"Ok, please stay calm, now we have a positive identification we are treating this as an abduction and we have officers being drafted in. Some are on the way to her office already to check appointments and her files."

"Shit, this is serious isn't it? Please just tell me how serious it is?"

"We are treating this as a very high priority case that's all I'm at liberty to say Mr Wright."

"Fucking hell just call me Ed, I hate Mr Wright. Ok, err shit is there anything else we can do?"

"No, just stay here and we will update you with anymore information. Try and get some rest, which I know is easier said than done."

"Rest? Fucking rest?"

"Calm down mate" said Nick resting his hand on my shoulder. "Thanks officer. Ed, let me get you a drink. What would Zoe have in?"

I laughed a laugh of tears and all I could say is "Gordon or Jack, that's all she ever has in Gordon or fucking Jack."

I rose from the sofa and went to her bedroom. I needed to smell her on the pillows, I needed to see her clothes around me. I found Kat still crying on the bed with AJ trying to comfort her. 

"Give us a minute AJ please." He nodded in response and left the room. "Come here Katty baby, come here."

Kat placed her head on my lap and I stroked the tears away from her eyes. 

"They have seen who has taken her Kat, they just have to identify him now. This is all down to you, you did it babe. You knew her so well and I fucked around not knowing what to do."

"I couldn't live without her not being here Ed, she completes me."

"I know the feeling, I said those exact words to Nick tonight. I can't begin to know how you must be feeling, you have known her almost your entire life. I have only known her for a couple of weeks, but she has me hooked. She is my forever girl."

"I have never seen her so happy since she has met you, part of me is jealous, but the bigger part of me is so pleased for her. She is the most beautiful girl I have ever met. How have men treated her so badly? She is stunning, and yet she doesn't even know it."

A rye laugh escaped "she said exactly the same thing about you last Saturday night Kat. Fuck me you two are like twins. It's quite scary really. You really are two people with the same soul."

"Really? Do you think that's why we get on?"

"Kat you are the same person in a different body, well maybe you are a bit louder but you really are yin and yang together."

"Aaww that's a sweet thing to say."

"I didn't say it Zoe did."

Kat looked up and burst back in to tears. I found myself joining in. We held each other and just cried.


	10. Chapter 10

ZOE

I tried to open my eyes, they wouldn't open. My head was throbbing and I didn't know where I was or what was going on. I tried to speak to shout out, but I couldn't open my mouth either. What the fuck was going on? 

Come on Zoe, pull yourself together, focus, you are stronger than this. You need to be strong now. I forced my eyes open which stung, I looked at my surroundings and saw I was in a grotty room with no furniture except the chair I was sat on. I looked down and saw my wrists were taped and so was mouth. My legs were free, but I had nowhere to move to without the use of my hands. I could see no sign of Brian and I also had no concept of what time it was, the heavy curtains at the windows were blocking out any light that may be outside. 

My head felt like it was going to explode, and I could feel a tightness down my cheeks that felt like dried blood. I knew I was in a bad way. I also didn't know what was going to happen when or even if Brian came back. 

My mind wandered to Ed and Kat, had they noticed I had gone? Had anyone noticed that I wasn't around? I worried that no one would be looking for me. Fuck me and my life. 

I could feel my eyes starting to get heavy, and I knew I couldn't keep them open much longer. 

ED

"It's been 24 hours Simon, 24 fucking hours and we know nothing more except that the man who took her is a complete psychopath."

"I know mate, I don't have a fucking clue what to say other than the police seem to be working flat out to try and find her. It will be easier now they have the registration number and know the nutter that has done it."

"What if it's too late? What if they find her too late?"

"Ed, don't even say it, Zoe is strong, she will fight this and she will be back with you soon."

I started to pace around Zoe's flat, it was too small to do it with any feeling, I needed to be out there looking for her, I needed to feel like I was doing something. I have never felt so helpless in my life. Kat was still asleep in the bedroom, she had spent most of the past 24 hours crying and screaming. I wanted to cry and scream and throw things at people, everyone was trying to stay so calm, but why? Why should we? Zoe was still not home and you knew the police thought time was running out. 

ZOE

I woke up with a start as I heard the sound of the door opening. Was this it? Was this Brian coming to free me, or kill me? 

I saw him come shuffling through the door, with a bag in his hand. He never once looked me in the eyes. 

"You need to eat and drink this, when you have finished I'm sorry but I have to tape your mouth again and tie your hands up."

He walked over to me, and took the tape off my mouth, it hurt and stung but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of showing him that. I felt relief as he undid my hands and I could move them freely. He placed the bag on my lap and then backed away slightly still not looking at my gaze. 

"You should of just said you loved me Zoe. None of this would of happened then."

I refused to talk to him, I just stared at him hoping he would look me direct in the eyes. I took the chance to put my hand to my head and felt a massive lump and cut on my eyebrow. I had been right earlier about the dried blood. 

"No one is looking for you Zoe, I told you he didn't love you. He has already got a new woman, I saw them together."

I wanted to jump up and kill him, but I had no energy and I knew with my head feeling the way it did I would probably pass out. I needed to conserve my strength until such a time that I could take a real chance to get the fuck out of here. I opened the bag and took out the sandwich and bottle of water. I tried to force the sandwich down but it was hard when I felt so sick. I think I had a serious concussion from the bang on my head to feel this unwell.

Brian still stood by the door looking at the floor, looking pathetic. I hated him, I hated his patheticness. I hated his self pity and how the whole world was against him. Shit happens to people, why couldn't he just fucking move on? My whole belief on helping people was being shaken by this one lunatic, had I missed the signs? Was I a shit psychologist? Is this my fault? 

I drank the water, dropped the food on the floor and closed my eyes. I wanted this nightmare to be over. 

ED

3 days. 3 fucking days and nothing. How could a woman disappear for 3 days and no one see her? I had not left the flat in that time, I wanted to be here incase any news came in. We had an officer stationed outside constantly, Simon and Nick took it turns to stay with us and Kat had taken up residence in Zoe's bed. I had sent AJ home and Kat hadn't argued. I don't think she knew what day it was let alone be able argue with us. 

I had cancelled all filming, much to the studios disgust. John had assured them we would still be on time and on the revised budget, so I had two weeks grace. If Zo wasn't home by then I didn't have a clue what I would do. 

I prayed silently to myself all day, every day. I prayed she was still alive, I prayed she wasn't hurt and alone somewhere but most of all I prayed for her to come back to me.

My love hadn't faded since she had been gone, it just kept getting stronger. 

ZOE

It felt like I had been here days. I knew that time had a habit of standing still when you were waiting for something but this felt ridiculous. I was trying to work out how long I may have been here and I had judged about 3 days. Brian only came to feed me once a day, so I was basing it on that. I had not spoken to him in all that time, he would not look me in the eyes still when he came to feed me. He still taunted me daily how no one had come looking for me, and I was obviously unloveable. If I couldn't switch him off I may have started to believe him. Why hadn't Ed come looking for me? What about Kat? Surely they had noticed I wasn't around for that long? 

I felt tears start to flow, I couldn't wipe them away, they just fell down my face mixing in with the blood and dirt. I love you Yogi. I love you Katty. Come and get me please.

ED

"Fuck you. Why the hell is more not being done? It hasn't even been in the press and it's four days now." I was fed up with screaming at our police liaison officer. You could tell they had given up. I would never give up. I had hired an investigator to find out as much about this Brian as I could. The police had interviewed this man's family and they had found out nothing new, the investigator was seeing them today, I had to hope he came back with some new information. 

Any information would be helpful, nothing had come to light so far. The car was seen on a different CCTV camera 10 minutes after the shop CCTV, but then nothing. It was as if they had vanished. How can a car just vanish? In the age of big brother how could she not of been found by now?

I ached, an internal ache that I had never experienced before. I needed Zoe, my forever girl back by my side. She was no longer my maybe girl, she would truly be my forever girl. When I held her again, I would make sure she knew. I knew I would hold her again. The negativity of earlier had disappeared. I knew my Zoe, I knew she would get out of this. 

Kat was still in residence in Zoe's bed, she had only got up to use the bathroom and eat. I went in at regular intervals and she looked so lost. I had never seen another human look so fragile as I saw Kat now. She had called work and told them she would not be back until Zoe was found. They were understanding as they knew how close the two were. I made my way to check on her. 

"Katty, sweetheart, you need to eat some more?"

"Do you think she is fucking eating Ed?"

"I bloody hope so. She will be tearing her hair out for chocolate." I tried to force a laugh out but Kat just looked at me helplessly.

"She's gone hasn't she? We are being pissing stupid, everyone says if they don't find someone in the first 24 hours than they have no fucking hope."

"Fuck, no, this is Zoe. She can talk her way out of anything. She will be back with us soon. Stay positive Katty babe, stay positive."

"You're being fucking stupid Yogi....."

"Don't call me that Katty, I can't hear that name until it's Zoe saying it again. I wasn't thrilled about her calling me it, now I would do anything to hear her say it again. And I'm not being stupid, I am being positive. I know she will come back to us. Don't give up on her Kat. The investigator may come up with something."

"Fuck off Edgar, nothing will come of it, if the police can't do anything then what does a one man band hope to do? Fuck all, that's what."

"Get some rest Kat, you need to get some more sleep."

I left the bedroom, shutting the door behind me. As I walked the short distance to the living room I could hear our liaison officer on her phone. 

"Are they sure it's him? Can I inform anyone yet? But no sign....."

I interrupted "What? Have they found Zoe? Have you got the bastard that did it.?"

Sarah, turned round, quickly got off her phone and looked directly in my eyes. "We have taken a suspect into custody who we think may have some involvement. That's all I can say at the moment."

"What about Zo? Have you found her?"

"We have no further information to give you at this time."

"What do you mean no information? What the fuck does that mean?"

"Look Ed I know this is hard for you, but please don't shout at me. I am just trying to help you as best I can. All the information I have given to you is all I have."

"Fuck this."

ZOE

I was beginning to be able gauge time, it seemed Brian always visited at roughly the same time of day, but not today. Maybe I wasn't as good as I thought I was. Maybe I had got it all totally fucking screwed up in my head. 

My head was getting worse by the day, and I had begun to feel so weak all the time. Why had this happened to me? Was I that bad a person? Or was it true that bad things happen to good people? Was Ed missing me? Or had he thought I had just gone off him and was completely ignoring him? 

My head was swimming with too many questions and I knew I wouldn't get any answers until I finally got home. If I got home. Piss off Zoe don't think like that, you will get home, you will beat this, you have too.

ED

"So you found out nothing new then? What about his financial records, or work records? There must be something else you can do? I don't care how much it costs, I want you to work solidly on this case, nothing else. We are running out of time ok?"

I threw my mobile on the sofa frustrated that the investigator had found nothing new out. I had not left the flat now in 5 days, 5 fucking days in the smallest flat in the world. When I get her back she is moving in with me, whatever she says. I am not leaving her alone again. 

ZOE

I think I'm going to die. I have stayed strong for god knows how long but I think Brian will just leave me here. He hasn't brought any food for at least 2 days now. That was at least a positive step that he didn't want me to die of starvation or dehydration. Now he obviously didn't give a shit. I can feel my lips cracking, I just need a sip of water, that's all just a sip. I am constantly tired, it's a struggle to keep my eyes open. 

I always joked that I would never starve to death as I had all the extra weight to use up first, I'm now scared that I actually could.

ED

It's been six days, six fucking shitty days. They arrested the bastard who did this 2 days ago and he had given nothing up. The police claimed he was of unsound mind so he had been sent to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. How the fuck is this going to help us get Zoe back? Give me 2 minutes in a room with him and I would get it out of him, 

My phone ringing interrupted my thoughts, and looked at the number and saw it was the investigator.

"Hi, any news?"

"Hi Ed, possibly some interesting news, the bank he worked for has quite an extensive property portfolio, I have looked through all the lists and there are 3 properties not far from where he was arrested. Now do you want me to pass this on to the police? It could be nothing and probably is, but I thought it was at least something to go on."

"No, don't give them to the police, give me the addresses I will check them out."

"I don't advise that Ed in your current frame of mind. Do you want me to check then out first for you?"

"Give me the fucking addresses and we can go together, do not tell anyone about this."

"Errr ok, I'm not happy about you coming but I understand, I would be the same."

I ended the call and grabbed my coat and shoes. At least I was doing something now instead of sitting around doing fuck all like an idiot and a weak idiot at that. 

Alex the investigator eventually turned up and I went and said goodbye to Kat. She had asked where I was going and I lied and said I just needed to get out for a while, the look of disgust in her eyes that I was leaving cut me deep.

We drove to the first property and knocked on the door. A young mum with a baby in her arms answered and I knew this wasn't the place. Alex spoke to her as I walked back to the car. He came back not long afterwards and concluded the same as me. 

The second house, there was no answer, it was a smart area so Alex went off to ask the neighbours. I waited in the car, more dejected than if I had stayed at Zoe's, why had I thought this was a good idea? It was pointless. The bank must have thousands of properties in its portfolios. We couldn't check all of them. I saw Alex walk back to the car and he shook his head at me.

"Nope, neighbours say they are on holiday and they have been feeding the cat so nothing here. Sorry Ed. Do you want me to take you back home?"

"We might as well do the last one while we are out. It was always a long shot wasn't it? Give it to me straight Alex, this is a waste of time isn't it? No one is saying it but deep down everyone is thinking I'm crazy for believing she is coming home."

"Shit Ed, look I will be honest it's a long shot. Most people who are abducted are harmed in the first 24 hours, but, and I mean this, there is always hope. It has happened before. I shouldn't say this but, whatever the outcome you need to find her, you will get some closure even if it is not what you want to happen."

"Fuck, I wish I hadn't asked. Let's get this last house done and then take me home. I know you're right, I just can't process this right now. I thought she would come home to me."

ZOE

Nothing, nothing, nothing. I can't think straight and process my thoughts, my brain stopped working a long time ago. I have even tried to come to terms with what I know is a forgone fucking conclusion. 

I won't be getting out of here, I know that, I just wish I could of said some stuff to people that I love. I don't want to die with regrets. I don't have many, but I want to be able to share the ones I do have with the people I love. I want to say a proper goodbye to Kat. I need her to know how much I love her, how much I admire her, and how proud she makes me every single fucking day of my life. 

I want to say thank you to Ed, my Yogi. For making the last few weeks the happiest of my life. Meeting him was truly serendipity. Fate brought us together in the most extraordinary way, and I will always love him. I want to see his smile, such a simple thing that we take for granted everyday, but what I would give to see it just once more.

I never thought my life would end this way, I wanted to be old and go in my sleep with my soulmate next to me. But fate has stepped in again and if this is the way it's meant to be, how can I argue?

My eyes closed slowly, and the last thing I pictured was Ed's smile. Goodnight my Yogi, sweet dreams.


	11. Chapter 11

ED

We pulled up outside the third house, the area was not as nice as the last one, this was very shabby. Alex jumped out to go and knock while I waited. I couldn't face another waste of time. I knew this was a waste of time, it was always a fucking long shot. The police must of surely checked these things out as well. 

I thought about work and what still needed to be done, I also thought that if we didn't find her, I would make the best fucking film ever seen in honour of her. Zoe had loved the first two, so I had to outdo both of those to make her proud of me. A tear fell as I knew she already was proud of me. I loved the way she looked at me, the way she grinned when she caught me looking at her, the way she bit her lower lip when she was nervous or excited. I even loved her swearing, what I would give to have her tell me to 'hurry the fuck up'. I missed her tweets with film references, I missed her silly texts when she was saying goodnight or good morning. 

Alex returned back to the car and I wiped my eyes. 

"Well?"

"No answer, I tried a neighbour but no answer there either. I suggest we wait and speak to a neighbour when they get back, but I can take you home if you want?"

"No, we might as well wait. We're here anyway."

We sat in silence for over two hours before we saw a neighbour come back. Alex jumped out of the car and walked across to the women. I saw him engage her in conversation and then take something out of his pocket. The women looked at what ever it was and tilted her head to the side as if thinking. Finally she half nodded but looked unsure. I wanted to know what was going on, I didn't know what Alex had shown the neighbour and I had to know. 

I got out of the passenger side and walked over to where the pair of them were chatting and could hear

"It might be him, possibly, but he didn't look that smart. I'm sorry I couldn't say for definite. He hasn't been for a few days whoever it was."

My ears picked up at this information, it had to be a good sign. 

"What's going on Alex?"

They both turned to face me and the neighbour looked nervous. 

"This lady, says possibly she has seen Brian, but she couldn't be 100% sure."

"Hi madam, my names Ed, do you know who lives in this house?"

"As I was telling your friend here, no one has lived their for months. Look I don't know what's going on but I don't want to be involved, I have enough going on in my life as it is."

"Please, this man abducted my girlfriend, you can check with the police, we are not lying. Anything you can tell us may help us."

"I don't want to get involved with the police, but all I will say is a man was visiting the house daily for a few days and then he stopped. That's it now please let me go home. I don't want anymore to do with it."

With this she walked up her path and went into her house. I turned to Alex and gave him a look which said now what?

"I'm not sure Ed, it seems a bit sketchy, I think we should take the information to the police and they can investigate more than I can."

"You heard her, a man was coming here and then stopped about the same time that fucker was arrested, that can't be a coincidence. I say we try and get in and have a look inside."

"No Ed, that's the worse thing we can do. We need to get the police involved. I don't want to say this, but if he has done something to Zoe you do not want to find out that way. We may destroy evidence, and also you do not want that vision in your head."

"Fuck off, I need to see, I have to go in."

"Ed, no, let us call your liaison officer and they can send in a proper team."

"I am not waiting, you can call them I am going to get in there and have a look."

I didn't wait for him to reply to me, I was up the path and trying the doors and windows. Nothing was budging. I looked down the side return and saw a gate leading to the back garden. Without hesitating I walked to the side and climbed the gate. As I did it I heard Alex shout "for fucks sake Ed, wait for the police.... Ah shit I'm gonna have to go with him."

I looked behind and saw Alex jumping over the gate. He caught up with me and said "I'm going to fucking charge you extra for this."

Together we checked all the downstairs windows and doors, none of them would budge for us. I looked through the windows but couldn't see anything through the curtains, fuck we needed to be able to see. I looked around the garden and found a brick. 

"I'm sorry Alex, if you don't want to get involved I understand but I need to take a look in there."

With that I threw the brick through the back door window. 

"Ed! Shit, we shouldn't of done that."

I cleared the rest of the glass out of the window and looked to see if a key was in the door, there wasn't, so Alex had to give me a leg up to help me through the gap. 

"Here Alex, jump through. Give me your hand." 

I helped him through the gap and we stopped in what would of once been a kitchen. 

"Ed, let me go first, I meant what I said earlier, you do not want to find her this way, let me check the rooms first ok? Just don't come in until I tell you too yeah? I need you to swear to me."

"Ok, I swear, but lets get on, we are wasting time."

I followed behind Alex as he moved into the hallway of the house. We came to a door, I hung back as Alex pushed it open and carefully stepped in. He came back out after a few minutes shaking his head. 

"Nothing in there." 

We came to another door and went through the same. 

"I don't think he would of taken her upstairs Ed, it's a waste of time, let's get out of here before the police arrive and arrest us for breaking in."

"It was a fucking long shot wasn't it? Maybe this is where he was staying that's how he managed to hide out for so long. Fuck this Alex, let's go, I want to go home."

"Ok, I will drive you straight back."

ZOE

I could hear a voice in my head. It sounded like Ed. I liked hearing his voice again. I knew the time was close, and I liked that Ed had visited me to say goodbye. I could hear him getting fainter and tried to call him back. Don't go yet baby, stay longer, say goodbye properly. 

I couldn't hear him anymore, he had left me. Even in my thoughts he had left me. It took the last bit of strength I had but I leant forward as far as I could with my hands tied behind my back and fell off the chair.

ED

"What the fuck was that?" I said startled. 

"Fuck knows, probably rats or something, look at the state of the place." Alex replied. 

"That wasn't fucking rats, that was too loud for rats. Go and have a fucking look. It came from upstairs."

"We are going to get caught and arrested. That will not look good for either of us Ed."

"Fuck getting arrested, who cares, go and see what it was."

Alex moved toward the stairs and started ascending slowly. Being cautious with every step, he looked back at me at the bottom of the stairs. "Stay here mate, get ready to run if need be ok?"

"Yep, just hurry up and see what it was."

I could hear Alex above my head on the landing through the freaky floorboards, I heard him open one door, walk in and then exit again. He then moved to the front of the house and I again heard him open a door and walk in. 

"ED GET THE FUCK HERE NOW AND CALL AN AMBULANCE AND THE POLICE.. LIKE NOW ED, FUCKING NOW."

I have never run up stairs as fast as that, I went to the front of the house and pushed the door open fully. Alex was knelt on the floor with his hand on Zoe's forehead, trying to rouse her. 

"Zoe! Fuck Zoe, what's wrong with her Alex, is she, fuck, is she, shit you know?"

"She is still with us, just. Sit here with her, we need to call an ambulance."

I sat on the floor next to my forever girl 'Zoe, my baby, open your eyes for me baby, it's Ed, please open your eyes, or squeeze my hand or fuck..... Anything baby, just anything." 

Tears were streaming down my face, I couldn't believe I was finally seeing her again. When I really looked at her, I realised what a bad way she was in. Her hair and face were a mass of dried congealed blood, her eyebrow was split open horrifically and she had bruising all down one side of her face. I carefully took the tape off her mouth, not wanting to cause her anymore pain than she had been through. My heart was broken for seeing her like this. 

"Zo-Zo, I love you baby. Help is coming, you have got to stay strong for me now, just for a little while longer, you have been so strong, just hold on, I won't ever leave you alone again. Come on forever girl, get up and fucking swear at me, hit me, anything please, just baby please..." 

I cradled her head on my lap, and stroked her beautiful face. She looked so peaceful just like she was asleep, her breathing was getting shallower and quieter. 

"FUCK NO! Baby hold on, please hold on. Alex she's not breathing, she has stopped, do something,"

I was pushed aside my Alex who put his ear to her chest and then started mouth to mouth. 

After he had done 5 breaths, he started compressions on her chest.

"Zoe, you are not dying on us, come on Ed's here and you have to hold on for him, fight it, you have to bloody fight it now" 

Alex started again on a cycle of breaths and compressions. 

"Ed, go and get the front door open so the ambulance and police can get in, go now, I won't stop I promise you, just get the fucking front door open."

I was routed to the spot, I couldn't move, I couldn't leave Zoe. 

"ED, FUCKING MOVE, if we don't let them in with the right equipment she may not make it."

It seemed to do the trick, I shook my head, jumped up off the floor and ran down the stairs. Wrenching open the front door, I looked out and saw an ambulance pulling into the road. I ran out to flag them down, and two paramedics grabbed their bags and followed me back into the house. I tried as best I could to explain what had happened, and then took them upstairs to where Alex was working on Zoe. 

Alex stood up off the floor to give the paramedics room to work, and came put his arm on my shoulder. 

"I did my best Ed, I really did, I hope it was enough."

"It has to be enough, it fucking has too Alex, I can't lose her now."

The paramedics carried on working on Zoe, when the police turned up. Alex went and explained what had happened, and I hoped he wouldn't get in trouble, I didn't give a shit about me, but Alex had done nothing wrong. 

One of the paramedics, stood up and came over to me. "We have stabilised her for now, we need to get her to the hospital as soon as possible, are you coming with us?"

"Is she breathing now? Will she be ok?"

"Yes, she is breathing, but I can't make any other judgement until we have got her seen by the doctors. Zoe is in a very serious condition."

"Ok, yes, I'm coming with you, I'm not leaving her side until she can come home."

The paramedics scooped Zoe onto a stretcher and got her outside and into the ambulance. A policeman came over and said they would follow us to the hospital and get a statement from me there. I couldn't give a toss about giving a statement. 

We pulled away with blue lights flashing. 

ZOE

I have never felt so peaceful as I do now. It feels like I'm floating and all my pain has been taken away. I like this feeling, I don't want it to end. 

ED

I was sat in a small room waiting for any information from the doctors who were working in Zoe. I had called Katty, Simon and Nick and they were on the way over. Katty was incomprehensible on the phone a mixture of relief and fear. Simon had offered to pick her up and bring her over. 

The waiting was awful, it felt worse than when I didn't know where Zoe had been taken, this time I knew she was just in the next room, and seriously ill. 

A doctor came in and sat down next to me. 

"Mr Wright, I'm Doctor Lloyd, I have been in charge of Zoe's care today. We have finished all the tests we need to do and I assume you want an update. Zoe is seriously ill with a skull fracture, it is amazing she lasted as long as she did given the circumstances. She is also seriously dehydrated. This may have caused some permanent damage to her kidneys, but we won't know until we can do a more detailed scan tomorrow."

"But, she will live? Is she awake?"

"No, Zoe is still unconscious, that is to be expected given what I have told you. As for her prognosis it is too early to say, all I will say is she has fought this long, so she is obviously strong, we have to just hope she keeps fighting."

"Thank you Doctor, can I see her now? Also her best friend who is like her sister will be coming in soon, can she see her?"

"Of course, I will take you through now. Keep talking to her, encourage her to open her eyes and join us again. Studies have shown it to be beneficial."

I followed the Doctor into the resuscitation ward and looked down at the angel in front of me. They had cleaned Zoe up and she looked better. They had stitched her forehead and eyebrow closed, and the bruising didn't seem so bad on the other side now the dirt had been washed off.

"Hello my darling, you look so much better. I knew you would come back to me. Now you have to do it properly, you need to wake up and shout at me. Tell me off for something, swear at me, and then kiss me. God I want to kiss you, I want to hold you in my arms and not stop kissing you."

ZOE

Why have things started to hurt again? For fucks sake, no, no, no. Take the fucking pain away. It's too bright, I want the horrible bright light to go away. Ow, shit, fuck my head is hurting badly. 

I can hear Ed again, he sounds really quiet, and like he's a long way away, I wish he would come nearer so I can hear what he's saying. Come closer to me Ed, can't you fucking come closer?

ED

Katty and I had slept on either side of Zoe, holding her hand, Katty whispered into Zoe's ear all night long until she was exhausted. I loved hearing the stories she told about what they had got up to, I felt privileged to be part of this moment.

"Ccccome cllloser."

I woke up with a jump, what the hell was that? I rubbed my eyes with my free hand, and looked over at Kat who was still fast asleep. I must of been dreaming. I lay my head back down on the bed, and squeezed Zoe's hand tight. My eyes soon closed again. 

"I can't hear yyoouu properly."

My head shot up, and I knew I wasn't dreaming this time. I looked at Zoe and she hadn't moved an inch. Fuck I'm going crazy. I had finally lost it. To be honest I was surprised it had taken this long. 

"Oh forever girl, I have finally cracked, I'm hearing voices in my head, I need you to get better and then you can help fix me. Can you do that for my Zo-Zo?"

"Mmmaybe."

What the actual fuck? 

"Zoe? Zoe can you hear me? Shit baby, say something else." I scrambled to find the buzzer to call the nurse. "Baby, can you open your eyes for me? Or squeeze my hand? Please come back to us, I know what you just said, but you're not maybe girl anymore, you're my forever girl."

"Clloserrr."

"That's it Zoe, you want me to come closer, I can't get any closer baby, now where the fuck is the nurse?"

I stuck my finger on the button again and didn't take it off. A nurse came bustling in and gave me a filthy look. 

"Is there a problem here?"

"Yes, she's waking up, she spoke to me. Please get the Doctor as soon as possible."

The nurse came across and looked at Zoe. 

"Are you sure Mr Wright? You have been asleep."

"No she woke the hell up, come here and watch. Zoe, you need to listen, show the nurse what you have been doing, please, don't be stubborn now, you have got to show off and show us all what you can do."

I was greeted by silence, the nurse tutted and went to walk away. 

"I'm just a boy, sitting next to his girl, asking her to move in with him." I knew it sounded crazy but I didn't care.

"Yyeesss."

"You heard that right? Nurse? You fucking heard that?"

The nurse had rushed off to find one of the Doctors. 

"That's it now Zo, I have a witness you said yes, you have to move in with me, you can't go back on it."

I felt a small squeeze of my hand, and I assume so did Kat as she woke up with a jump almost as big as mine.

"What the fuck is going on Ed? Why did you wake me up?"

"I didn't Katty, I think our princess is coming back to us. She has tried to speak."

"What? She pissing spoke? Are you sure? Let me try. Zo, you got the wrong foot, it's the right one isn't it? Come on tell me it's the fucking right one."

"Llefftt."

"Buggery bollocks, that's it Zo, it's always the left foot cos of my pissing left handedness, I always had to get my own way huh?"

We both felt a squeeze of our hands again. 

"Shit Kat, we have her back, she's coming back to us. Fuck this is amazing."

"Calm your tits Ed, we don't want to wear her out, but god if Zoe wasn't in front of me now, I would of snogged the face of you. Did you hear that Zoe? If you don't wake up and shout at me I am going to snog him."

"Ffuucckk."

Katty and I whopped and kissed Zoe's hand. We were slowly starting to get the old Zoe back. 

ZOE

My brain wasn't functioning right, I could hear people talking and asking me stuff, but what I wanted to say wasn't coming out right. I kept stuttering and not being able to string more than one or two words together. I knew it was Kat and Ed next to me, but they still sounded distant. 

I hate the bright light they keep shining in my eyes. It hurts my head. I wish they would let me sleep, I need more sleep. I have never felt this fucking tired in my life.


	12. Chapter 12

"NO, DON'T. IM NOT COMING."

I jumped forward and woke myself up. Fuck it was just a dream, just a stupid fucking dream. I looked at Ed next to me and saw he was sound asleep. I then glanced over at the time and saw it was 4am. Well done me, I have managed to get 2 whole bloody hours sleep before I woke up with the same dream. 

It's a month since I was found, and a week since I came out of hospital. I'm all over the place and my brain still has a few fucking problems. Yes, more than usual, it never worked perfectly but now it's even worse. I forget stuff that I should remember, and I think Ed is getting fed up with it. Thank god for fucking Siri on my phone who reminds me of everything. 

I got out of bed and went to sit on Ed's balcony, I had started smoking again, even though I didn't have a single one for a month. It made me feel like the old me, the good Zoe, not the wreck I had been left. 

Ed had been bloody amazing, he had to go back to work, but he sends friends round to look after me, and keep me company. As much as I don't need pissing babysitting, it's nice to have company. I don't like being on my own anymore. It kind of frightens me a bit. 

I can't go back to work until the hospital say, but I am desperate to do something. Katty and Ed think I'm crazy, but I need to get back to me, the drinking me, the fun me and the working me. I can't wait for the hospital to give me the ok to drink again, cos believe you me, I'm gonna have a fucking night to remember. I also can't wait till Ed and I can get shagging again, that has been banned because of my fracture. Its shite, I can't even look at him without a top on as it makes me bloody horny. 

Sighing, I inhaled deeply on my cigarette and opened my twitter app. 

"I'm knackered, battered and horny as fuck. #ScrewMyLife"

I was exaggerating slightly with the battered bit, my wounds have healed, although I'm left with a very unattractive scar through my forehead and eyebrow. I feel a bit gangster with it, that's not a good look on a 36 year old is it? 

"@Edwright you look pweettyyy when you're asleep. Love you Yogi."

It wasn't the same when he was asleep, I knew I wouldn't get a reply, I liked his silly replies, and since I had been home we had been tweeting some real crap to each other.

"Baby, come back to bed."

"Shit, fuck, you made me jump. Don't creep up on me Edgar."

"I'm sorry, I woke up and you had gone, why are you not sleeping? This has got to stop. You need rest."

"I'm fine, I just had that shitty dream again, every fucking night, I see that fucked up psycho. When will he stop, I don't want him to have control of me anymore. It's bad enough that the fuckhead will probably get away with what he has done as he will claim diminished responsibility. I know they will use me as a witness for him, and that kills me Ed."

"Don't think about him, I know its easy for me to say, but try and release him from your head. It's also still very early days. Try and relax."

"You know what would relax me Yogi?" As I said it I turned around on my chair and started kissing his chest and stomach. "Do you know what would really relax me?"

"Zo-Zo, don't start something we can't finish. You heard what the Doctors said."

"And when did you get such a goody pissing two shoes? Break the rules, live dangerously."

"I got goody two shoes when I nearly lost you. Now come back to bed and get some sleep."

I winced as he said those words. I haven't been told everything that had happened to me, after I had been found, I want to know but people change the subject when I ask. 

"What happened to me Ed? Was it really that touch and go?"

"It's too late to be talking about this."

"It's always too late, or not the right time or everyone is sodding busy. Fucking tell me or I will go back home tomorrow."

"I think we should speak to the hospital first, and then we will tell you everything. I promise."

"Fuck these promises, I need to know."

"And you will, you will. Trust me baby, please. Now let's go and try and get you rested."

"Can I come to work with you tomorrow? Just for a little while?"

"What? Now I am fucking worried. You must still have a bad concussion. You come to work with me?"

"I want to get out of here, it's been a month of sitting in hospital or in your flat, I want to be out and see people and be outside. The hospital didn't say I couldn't go out did they? So you can't fucking argue and you have to do as I want as I'm the patient and I get what I bloody want."

"Whoa slow down, you will give yourself a headache. You can come to work whenever you want, you know that, but, you have to rest during the day. You can sleep on the bed in my office or you can steal Simon's trailer. And, you have to come back to bed now and get some sleep or you won't be coming."

"Ok Yogi, come on then, let's get to bed and not have the sex and both of us can be frustrated together yeah?"

We spooned up in bed together, Ed being soft and gentle, when all I wanted was for him to take me hard. Fuck this is shit, I needed Ed, I need that closeness that we had. I want to hear him moaning my name. Not that we were only about sex, but it's like when you're a child, and you are told 'no' all you want to do is the thing you can't. Forbidden fruit and all that. 

I heard Ed start softly snoring and wrapped my arms tighter round his, I never wanted us to end, Kat had told me everything he did when I was missing, and I didn't think it was possible to love him anymore. How did I get so fucking lucky? And all down to that arsehole and being late. Serendipity was certainly shining on me that day. I closed my eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep, safe and secure in Ed's arms. 

"NO, help, don't let him take me, Ed, please."

"Zo, Zoe baby wake up, it's just a dream."

I felt Ed gently shaking my arm, I leapt up with a start. 

"You were just dreaming, nothing will happen to you."

"Fuck this shit, I can't go on like this. Every fucking time I pissing go to sleep. When I wake up I know I'm safe, why can't my head stop this." Tears sprang to my eyes.

"Don't cry baby, you are safe, nothing will happen to you. Come here and lay on me."

I turned over and lay on Ed's chest, tears falling on him but I couldn't be arsed to wipe them away. I felt the need that they had to come. Nothing was going to stop them. 

The alarm went off far too quickly for both of us. Although lazy by most people's standards at 11am, we were both fucked from not getting enough sleep. I felt selfish that I was making Ed so knackered, this not sleeping was going to have to stop. 

"Yogi honey? I'm going to have to move back to my place. This is not fair on you, you are shattered, and it's not even shattered from a nice shagging point of view. At least with that knackered you have had some enjoyment."

"Like fuck you are. You are staying here, you said yes to moving in with me at the hospital remember?"

"The fuck I did."

"I have a nurse as a witness. Move in here, please, move in."

"I love you Edgar, and I know we will be together for ever, but, it's too soon. It's been what two pissing months and for a month of that I was missing or in hospital."

"I want you here all the time. I want to wake up to you every morning......"

"Yes, and it's making you knackered. You are waking up to me six sodding times a night at the moment." 

"That won't last forever. Do you not like it here? We could move, buy somewhere different, a house with a garden."

"Oh what a country cottage with fucking roses round the door and then we get a golden retriever and call the kids Tarquin and Amelia?"

"No, I didn't mean like that, I meant something that would be ours. Totally ours."

"One day Yogi, one bloody glorious day we will." 

I got out of bed and headed towards the shower, remembering to not lock the fucking door as everyone panicked if I locked it, as if I would die or something in the shower. They need to get over themselves. I hurt my head, no one died, I had a cut head that was it. To be honest the stress people were causing me by panicking with every little thing I did was making me worse. I don't want to be treated like a fragile flower that is going to break if you so much as look in its direction. I want to be Zoe again, mad, silly, drunk, unbreakable Zoe. I made up my mind there and then to call the hospital and see when I can start being me again. The bastard that caused this was not going to run me out of my own life. 

I called the hospital as Ed drove us towards the studios, it felt odd to be out and see people going about with their daily business. I wanted that again, I needed that again. I managed to get a private appointment for the following day, as much as I love the NHS and they had done a great job in patching me up, I could not wait 6 weeks to be told I can go back to work. Ed would come with me incase I couldn't remember what was said at the appointment. 

"Can you tell me what happened now? What exactly happened when you found me?"

"Not until we have seen the Doctor, I don't want to upset you."

"Why would it upset me? Come on Yogi, I can handle it, and whatever you tell me isn't going to be fucking worse than what I am imagining. I know I must of looked a mess, but it's not like I bloody died is it?"

"You did die."

"What?"

"You did fucking die, and I have never been so fucking scared in my life. Now just bloody drop it."

"Fuck off, the hospital would of told me."

"Zo, when we found you, you were barely breathing, as we called the ambulance you stopped breathing. Alex, the private investigator had to perform CPR as I was panicking too much, to do anything, I failed you, and I promised myself I would never leave you alone again." 

"Pissing hell, can you pull over now please."

Ed pulled over as soon as he could, I opened the door and threw up at the roadside. This is what everyone had hidden from me. This is why I couldn't be left alone or couldn't lock any doors. I actually fucking died. 

"Ed sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I must of been hell this last week. You should of told me, you didn't fail me, if you had failed me I wouldn't be here would I?"

"Don't do that Zoe, don't be all nice and forgiving."

"I'm not being forgiving, I'm saying you didn't fail me."

I got out of the car, and lit a cigarette, Ed hated me smoking in his car but god I needed one. I leant on the side of the car and started to process what I had been told. I went through everything that we were taught in medical school about processing shocking information and how the brain could cope with it. The steps of shock, denial, anger that may happen, I didn't feel any of those, I strangely felt at peace. I knew it could be a form of shock but it actually felt like peace. I saw Ed walk round to my side of the car and he put his arm round me. 

"I didn't want you to hear it like this. I needed to know you were in a right place mentally before you found out everything that had gone on. I'm sorry I didn't save you, I didn't know how to. I think what would of happened if Alex hadn't been there. I was so close to losing you, my true soulmate, that it kills me inside."

"STOP. stop right fucking there. Don't you pissing get it jobsworth? You saved me the day we met. Without you, who other than Kat would of known I was missing? Who would of hired that investigator? It sure as hell wouldn't of been that arsehole ex. Without you coming into my life I would not be here, I sure as hell know that psycho bastard probably would of still taken me at some point, and without you I would of died for sure. Fate is working overtime on us." 

I turned round to face Ed, and saw he had tears down his face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. I have never squeezed someone as tightly as I did in that moment, I felt relief washing over me, I felt pain that I didn't know I had leave me. I pulled away from his embrace and felt in my pocket for my phone. I turned my back to him and wrote 

"@Edwright I'm just a girl with her back to a boy saying call the movers."

I was waiting to hear his notification tone go off, and when I turned back to face him, he already had his phone in his hand waiting to see what I had written. I had never loved someone as much as I did at that moment. I found I was flinging myself at his lips, and nothing was going to break the kiss I needed to give him. My mouth and tongue were searching his, as if I needed confirmation of his feelings for me. It's all good and well loving someone with all your heart, but you need to know it is reciprocated or you end up feeling a bit of a dick. 

As our hands were wandering all over each other and our kisses getting more passionate, his notification tone went off. I smiled whilst kissing him and I wondered how long it would be before he broke away to read it. That would tell me his feelings right there. If he was enjoying the intensity of the kiss as much as I was, he wouldn't break away. I felt his hands wander down to my arse and smiled again, he was not breaking away. Fucking hell yeah, I'm glad I sent that tweet. 

I broke away from the kiss and put my head on his shoulder. Ed kissed my forehead gently where my scar was. 

"Are you not going to read it?"

"Read what?"

"The message I sent you?"

"Oh bollocks I forgot." He looked down at his hand to see the message. I was still leaning on his shoulder and could see the message on his locked screen. I felt his arm around me tighten and pull me closer. 

"Really? You mean it? You are definitely moving in?"

"No, I'm not moving in, we are moving out, a new start huh?"

"Shit, honestly? You want us to buy somewhere?"

"Yes, but it has to be done all properly, I haven't got a lot of money but I should be able to get a mortgage for my half."

"Fuck off, get a mortgage. I'm the man of the house I will provide you with a roof over your head, and it will be all yours."

"Oh so you are getting all shitting 1950's on me now? Do I have to have your dinner on the table when you get in from work now?"

"Hell yes woman."

"You do know that would consist of gin or bourbon don't you? I'm a shite cook. You will just have to eat on set before coming home every night, but, I could be waiting in the bedroom like a good housewife always should. You will have to buy me some of those fluffy feathery mule slippers like they used to wear."

"I thought a good housewife should be an amazing cook and a whore in the bedroom?"

"Well one out of two and bad for you mister, and at least it's the right one." I winked and grinned at him, I could see his smile getting wider. 

"And with that frustrating thought in my head, we had better get to work. I'm going to be late enough as it is, but I will just blame you."

"And so it fucking starts......."


	13. Chapter 13

Arriving at the studios I felt like someone famous, I hated every single fucking minute of it. Friends of Ed's rushed over completely ignoring him and asked if I was ok, and how was everything going. I felt overwhelmed and tearful. This was not how I envisaged my first day out to be. 

Nick must of seen my state and came over, put an arm around me and moved me off to his trailer. 

"Thank the fuck for that, cheers Nick. That was a bit much for me."

"I saw you were struggling, stay in here for as long as you want. I'm not needed for ages, let Ed do all the work for a change."

"How is Ed doing Nick really? Has he talked to anyone about what happened? A lot of shit came out on the way here. He told me what state I was really in."

"He told you what exactly?"

"He told me how I died, how he failed at bringing me back, and how he feels at being a failure."

"He said all that? Christ, he told me he was never going to tell you."

"Well you know what us women are like, we get it out of you. You can't hide anything from us. You have been married long enough to pissing know that. He hasn't failed me, he never would fail me, he saved me, in more than the literal sense. I know you are probably still weary of me, I would be if it were Kat, but I won't ever hurt him Nick."

"I was weary, very weary, it was all too much too soon, but seeing how desperate he was when you were missing, it showed me how he loves you, and if that's good enough for him that's good enough for me."

"Am I good enough for him? Is he too good to be true for me? Most men would of run a mile with what has happened but not Yogi, he wants us to move in together and I have said yes. I must be fucking crazier than I thought."

"No not crazy, well shit sorry yeah you are crazy, but just in love. It's good to see."

"I do love him Nick, more than people will ever realise. It's like he's been in my life forever, like we were made to be together. Like someone planned this from when we were born and it took all of life's crap for us to find each other. Does that make sense?"

"Kinda, but if it makes sense in your head that's all you need. Now get some rest as you have to get on set later, we have scene you must watch being filmed, it's bloody fate that you came here today."

There was that word again, fate. It seemed that fate had a lot to do with our relationship. Was that a good thing? Should we leave everything up to fate? 

I lay down on the sofa in Nick's trailer and must of drifted off as I was being shaken awake 4 hours later by Simon. 

"Zoe, Zoe, wake up. It's Simon, you have to wake up quick, we need you to see this."

"What the shit is going on? How long was I asleep for? What are you doing here Simon?"

"Fuck, I forget about your head, you are on set remember? In Nick's van. I think you have been asleep over 4 hours. Anyway, wake up and come with me you have to see the next scene."

"I'm awake, hazy but awake, where's Ed?"

"He's still working, I have to get back, are you coming?" 

"Yes I'm pissing coming, this better be good, I was fast asleep and pissing hell Si, I didn't have that dream?"

"What dream? Anyway come on hurry up."

I was literally dragged at break neck speed across the lot to reach the set. It was set up to look like a pub, I saw Ed deep in conversation with his producers and found a chair in front of a monitor to sit on. Simon found me some headphones and I sat back to watch. 

"Places everyone." Was shouted by one of the production team, and then the old clapper board and "action" shouted by Ed. God he looked hot when we was directing. Concentrate Zoe, concentrate you can't shag him here, you can't shag him anywhere until the hospital say so.

The action was between Simon and an actor called Paddy. 

"Drink up. Let's Boo-Boo." Said Simon's character. 

"Boo-Boo? What is that?"

"You remember 'Let's Boo-Boo'. You know, from Mr. Shepherd's classroom, it said on the wall 'Exit, Pursued by a Bear', you know, from that Shakespeare play?"

"A Winter's Tale."

"Yeah. What was it called?"

"A Winter's Tale."

"That's it. And if we needed to make a quick getaway, we'd say: 'Exit, Pursued by a Bear'. And then, it was: 'Exit, Pursued by Yogi Bear'. And then, it was just: 'Let's Yogi and Boo-Boo'. And then: 'Let's Boo-Boo'.

"So you're saying we should go?"

"Yeah. Shitty, here. Isn't it?"

Ed then shouted out "CUT." And went over to speak to Simon and Paddy. I burst out laughing and hugged myself. I then saw Ed look over at me and a smile appear on his face. He rushed over. 

"I didn't know you were here. I thought you were still sleeping. Who brought you over here?"

"Simon did. Oh bugger me Yogi, it's perfect, hilarious and perfect. It's weird seeing it though. It's bringing back so many memories. Thank you."

"Don't thank me, I should be thanking you. It's a good scene."

"Course its a good scene, I'm in it." Interrupted Simon. 

"So fucking modest Peggy, thanks for waking me up though, I'm bloody glad I didn't miss it. Shame Kat had to."

"Bring her tomorrow when we do the disabled's." Replied Simon.

"What the pissing hell is the disabled's? It's not what I think it is? After what we told you that night? Oh fuck she will chop your bits off with a rusty knife Edgar Wright."

"No, it's not bad, I promise, I just liked the reference. So it's a tiny scene where Gary is reminiscing about doing it in the disabled's when he was a teenager. That's it. Bring Kat along if you want."

"I will ask her, now are you going to have a break soon?"

"Yep, just got to do a different scene a couple more times and the we will break for lunch. Go and rest and I will come and get you." He planted a kiss on my forehead and walked back to his work. 

I left the studio and stopped by catering to get a drink. As I sat down I again smiled to myself. He is crazy, crazy and mad and the best man I could ever wish for. What woman wouldn't want a man to immortalise a teenage moment for all time? Come on admit it you would be chuffed to buggery as well. 

I saw Paddy, the actor who had just done the scene with Simon sitting over from me. 

"Hi, I'm Zoe, Ed's girlfriend. Great scene just then. I loved it."

"Hi Zoe, I'm Paddy, nice to meet you properly at long last I know who you are through Ed. Sorry to hear about the shite that happened, you know."

"Yeah cheers, I'm fine, well no I'm not fine but I will be. You have to take the shit with the awesome huh?"

"That you do pretty lady, that you do."

"You don't look happy Paddy if you don't mind me saying. I know I don't know you, but you look troubled."

"I have just have some confidence issues to work out, the bane of an actors life that shite is. Always someone better to come and take all the jobs."

"Talk to me, tell me what you feel is lacking."

"Fuck off. You have just gone through the most traumatic thing an alive person can and you want to help shitty me with my lack of personal confidence. Even I'm not that shallow love."

"It's not being shallow, why couldn't you talk to me? I'm offering to help you if you want it? You don't know me, it might help."

"I would just feel a bit of a dick unloading to someone who was kidnapped, died, brought back to life and now offering to help me..... And shit I wasn't supposed to say anything about you dying, fuck, I fuck it all up. Ed will bloody kill me."

"You swear more than me Pad, and he won't kill you. I found out this morning what really happened, and do you know what, it gave me peace. For the first time in a month I fell asleep and didn't have a nightmare. Fuck knows why knowing I died has done that, but it has."

"Wow that's heavy shit, here do you smoke? Wanna fag?"

"God yes, I want a fag, and a bloody gin, but can't have the alcohol till I see the hospital. Now come on tell me what the fuck is going on with you."

We discussed Paddy's confidence and personal issues at length for over an hour, it felt amazing to be back trying to help people discover themselves. That's what I like about psychology, it's not like medicine where you tell them what to do to make them better. The person has to discover for themselves what has made the issues that affects them. Doesn't matter what you do for a living or how much money you have, people's problems no matter how big or small affect them in significant ways. Paddy's issues weren't huge by most people's standards but they affected him and his mental health and that needed addressing. 

And sorry if I offended you by saying mental health. Everyone in the world has mental health issues, it doesn't mean you are a loon and need to be locked up, it just means that your mind is poorly, like a small cut and needs a plaster. If we changed mental health to emotional wellbeing the stigma would not be attached to it with such prominence, why do we put such pressure on ourselves? 

Paddy stood up, hugged me until I thought I might break, picked me up, spun me round and kissed me on the cheek. 

"You are a doll, and shit an angel too, sent from heaven to help us."

"I don't bloody think so Paddy, but stay cool, you will be fine, go over those exercises I taught you and call me anytime. I won't even fucking charge you."

"Fuck Ed getting to you first, I'm jealous, I want you all to myself."

"Well Paddy, you snooze, you lose. If only I had abused you in the street instead of Ed. Who knows what would of happened."

"You would still have fallen for Ed, you two are made for each other, I can see why he fell in love with you so fucking quick. I want to marry you and I have only spoken to you for an hour."

"It's obviously my brain and not my beauty that attracts you guys." 

"Don't put yourself down Zoe, you are beautiful inside and definitely outside, I would have you now over this table."

"Who would you have over this table Paddy?" Ed interrupted. 

"Yogi, stop fucking creeping up on people. You scared the shit out of me."

"Zoe, I would have your Zoe over this table now if you hadn't come and bloody disturbed us. And if her eyes hadn't lit up the minute she heard your voice, god I want someone who's eyes do that the minute I speak." Answered Paddy. 

"Thanks for that Paddy, thanks for telling me you want my beautiful girlfriend over the table. That's a bloody vision I didn't really want. Now I'm taking her to get some lunch and some rest."

"I don't want rest Ed, I'm enjoying talking to Paddy, we worked a lot of stuff out for each other." I replied whilst leaning back from my chair onto his stomach. 

"She is a genius Ed, you should employ her to keep all us head fucked actors on the straight and narrow."

Ed looked down at me and the across to Paddy with confusion. "What do you mean Paddy? What did Zo do for you? She should of been resting." 

"I am here, don't shitting talk about me like I'm not here Edgar."

"Sorry baby, but you should of been resting."

"I had a good talk with Paddy and sorted out some of his issues, you should thank me you may well have a better actor for if. So fuckhead don't tell me I should be resting. All I do is fucking rest. My brain needs to be used. Do you know for the first time today when I was asleep in Nick's van I didn't have that dream? And I think it's because I have got out and started using my head instead of trying to shut it off all the bloody time."

"That's amazing news Zoe, I will back off I promise, once we have seen the Doctor tomorrow. So then Paddy, will we get a stellar performance from you then?" 

"I bloody hope so, when I said she is a genius she honestly is. Bring her with you every day, I know a lot of us actors would like a chat with her. You are a lucky man Ed, cherish her."

"For fucks sodding sake, I AM HERE. Stop saying embarrassing crap in my presence. I'm not a genius and I am the lucky one that Ed would ever look at me twice. And with that I am leaving you guys to get some food."

I walked away back to the catering van to see what they had cooked. I looked back and saw Ed and Paddy still deep in conversation. Fuckers. It's embarrassing being told crap about yourself, I'm not any of those things that they said. I'm just Zoe. 

After getting lunch I walked back over to Ed and asked where we were eating, he indicated his office, so I walked off in that direction while he queued for his food. I remembered the last time we had made this walk and what had happened and started giggling. I then remembered what had happened next and the giggling turned to tears. I felt robbed. Robbed of time with Ed and Kat. Robbed of my dignity and robbed of the control I had over my life. Today had been amazing, I was taking back the control, no one would ever make me feel like that again. My head whirred as I thought about how I could continue the closure in my head that had begun. As I made my way into Ed's office I grabbed his laptop and started it up. I needed to get what I had in my head down on paper. 

Ed found my lunch had not been touched and me slaving over the laptop when he came in 20 minutes later. 

"What's wrong with your lunch? Not hungry?"

"Nope, I had to write some stuff down, I borrowed your laptop is that ok?"

"Course it is, but is it good for your head, you know with the computer screen and that?"

"It's bloody fine, but I have written about a chapters worth of stuff already. Do you wanna take a look?"

"How long was I gone? How can you write so much, so soon?"

"Talking to Paddy made me realise some things. I remembered when I was in that room locked away and I thought to myself do bad things happen to good people or does everything happen for a reason? I never answered those questions at the time, I think my survival instinct kicked in and I knew I would be certifiable crazy if I thought over and over about stuff. Now I can think it over and I think it would help me and possibly you to know what I went through. I can't remember everything but what I can remember may be good for us. Read the first paragraph now yeah?"

"Pass it here you adorable loon, I can't believe how much you have come alive coming to work with me."

I passed the laptop over and Ed took it and started reading.

'Have you ever died and not known you have died? Of course you probably haven't, it can only happen to me. What if I told you that it was the love of my life who told me I had died and he felt he had failed me. Would you think I should be a crazy wreck? What if told you it was the turning point to find peace, and the start of an exciting adventure, I should be in the mental hospital huh? 

Well this is my story of meeting my forever man and then dying and how no one could ever take that away from me..........'

"Hurry the fuck on Ed, it can't take that long to read a paragraph. Is it shit and you don't know how to tell me? You can say, it's just going to be like a diary of sorts and how things went."

"Sshhhh I'm reading."

"One paragraph Ed, fuck how the hell do you read a script so quickly?"

"I'm reading all of it, so shut the hell up."

I started eating my lunch that was now stone cold and watched Ed's face as he looked at the screen. He didn't look away from it once. He just read and read until finally he looked up and said 

"Wow, fucking wow Zo-Zo. You must continue with this."

"Did it help you? Just what you read did it help anything at all in your head?"

"Yes, it has made me love you even more if that was possible. Now I have something to ask you, I'm not entirely convinced about the idea, mainly for your health but if the Doctor clears you tomorrow I will go with it."

"Go with what?"

"Come and work for me?"

"Haha yeah Ed seriously what?"

"Come and work for me, after listening to what Paddy said and then I spoke to Simon and Nick they all agreed it would be a good idea to have an on staff psychologist or therapist if you prefer."

"That's a crazy idea, why would you need a therapist? I know your devious ways, is this so you can keep an eye on me all the time? I couldn't live like that Ed! That's not living, that's you controlling what I do and wanting to keep me safe. I know you are doing it with the best of intentions but no I can't work and live with you."

"Actually this is nothing to do with me, you wouldn't even report to me, I would hardly see you in work hours. Actors by nature are an insecure bunch, they have a lot of problems and it would be a good thing to see if their work improved. It was Paddy's idea, and I took it to the money men and they are working out budgets and stuff, but they seemed to like the idea."

"You did all this in twenty fucking minutes? Bugger me, I need to watch out for you. Can I think about it? I won't say no yet, but I think I would miss my real clients too much."

"You could still see your private clients if you wanted too, one day a week or whatever. I would prefer you didn't because of you know, but that is my bridge too cross not yours."

"It is a really flattering offer, to be honest a month ago I would of laughed in your face and told you to fuck off, but I will seriously think about it. I enjoyed my chat with Pad. I saw a twinkle come back in his eyes, actors have a vibe about them that I can work off, they are not embarrassed about showing you the emotion underneath I find that fascinating as normally I'm dragging it out of people."

"Let me know, but I assure you, you won't be working for me, I don't think I could cope with being your boss. It's not like I'm the boss at home is it?"

"You can be the boss of me right now Yogi?"

"Fuck off, not fair. You don't think I haven't been picturing what we got up to last time you were in this office? God, I can see your arse on those plans, and the wet patch, and god when you were coming, fuck. Now stop."

I casually walked round to where Ed was sat on the other side of the desk and straddled his lap. I started kissing his neck "you know they will say I'm fine to do what I want tomorrow don't you?" I started unbuttoning his shirt "and can you cast your mind back to what we said about rules on our first date?" I was nibbling on the top of his shoulder as Ed was groaning into my ear. "And if we were really careful and really gentle, then it's no more exercise than say having a shower when you think about it." My hands had moved down to his belt and jeans and I started undoing them. "I know you want me, god you want me, hence why you haven't jumped up and stopped me." I hitched up my skirt and removed my knickers. "I want you so badly, you won't hurt me, I just want you to show me how much you love me."

"Zo baby, we can't, you heard the hospital...."

"What the fuck do the hospital know. I feel fine, now let me show you how fine I feel."

I released his hard cock from the confines of his jeans and shorts. Bugger me was it hard, he was gagging for it, but morally you could see he was torn. I lifted up from straddling his lap to allow me to guide him in to me. As I slid down his cock, I could of come instantly. 

"Bugger me Yogi, that feels amazing."

The only response I got was a gutteral moan. I rocked backwards on his cock slowly and then forwards and this time we both moaned. I just wanted to ride him quickly but knew he would panic about my head. No, this had to be slow and steady if I wanted it at all. And fuck did I want it. 

Ed held me tight with his arms around my back as I had my arms around his neck, the slow movement and lack of this type of contact for over four weeks was intense for both of us. We rocked together over and over, and I could feel myself building up to come. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried about my head, I was worried that an exploding orgasm would undo the skull fracture that was healing, but god I needed the release. 

"Baby, oh fuck Ed baby, hold me."

I felt myself tightening up around his cock, and knew he could feel it too. I felt him tense up and I knew he was worried what could happen to me when I came. He needn't of worried, when I came in a matter of seconds, it was explosive and felt amazing, and I groaned over and over again. I carried on slowly riding his cock lengthening my own orgasm and bringing him to his. 

"Zo-Zo I love you forever girl, I love you."

I leant forward and kissed him on his forehead, never wanting this moment to end. It was a release of four weeks of worry and heartache, it was also a fresh start for us both. We held each other tight not wanting to lose the connection that had been made.

"Rules were meant to be broken baby huh?"

"Yes, oh god yes, but I feel bad and naughty and like I have taken advantage of a sick woman."

"I'm not sick, not anymore anyway. I needed that, god I needed you. The problem is now I have had you I want more. I want you to bend me over and fuck me senseless over your desk."

"That's not gonna happen till we have been to the hospital, but just plan what you are going to do to me and then tell me on the journey home." 

"Ohhhh you want me to tease you huh? You want me to tell you what I want you to do to me?"

"Fuck yes, but only when you have got the all clear."

"So you wouldn't want me to say I want to tie you to the bed naked and suck your cock till you shoot into my mouth? You wouldn't want me to tell you that while you are tied down I am going to ride your cock just until you are about to come, and then stop and leave you to calm down over and over again? And you really wouldn't want me to say that I want to ride your cock while it's up my arse..........."

"Shit Zoe, SHUT UP. I want all those things, fuck my life do I. You can't do this to me when I have to go back to work."

"So you also wouldn't want me to say I can feel your cock getting hard inside me again right now, and god it feels good. So you just want me to get off you and not ride your cock anymore? Cos I can do that, you know, I could not start sliding up and down on your cock like I know you want me too."

"Don't you fucking dare."

"So you like me sliding on your cock huh? Do you like that you make me come? God I love it when I'm screaming your name and contracting around your cock so hard that it makes me suck the orgasm out of you. I want to make you come again baby, I want you begging for me to make you come. I want you to watch as I finger my clit and make myself come while your cock is inside me........ Fuck your cock feels good baby, do you want me to come? Do you?"

I looked deep into Ed's eyes and could see how turned on he was, he couldn't even answer from him biting his lower lip so hard. I leant back slightly and lowered my hand to my clit and slowly started circling. I was still sensitive from my earlier orgasm and I shuddered at my first touch. I saw Ed looking down watching and smiled a filthy smile. 

"You like watching that do you Yogi? You like watching me touch myself? So tomorrow when I start finger fucking myself and you are not allowed to touch me, that would turn you on huh?"

"Shut the hell up and let me fuck you Zo, god I just want to come in you again." 

With those words, Ed picked me up and sat me on the edge of his desk. Sensing his nervousness, I nodded up at him to reassure him it would be fine. He held his hands around my head so I didn't bang it on the desk and then fucked me hard. Before I could say anymore I was being thrusted into another orgasm, and fuck it felt good. Ed carried on and was soon riding out his own orgasm. He gently lifted me back up from the hard desk and slipped out of me. As if by magic he threw a box of tissues in my direction.

"I learnt from last time." And he added a wink and a smile. "How are you feeling seriously baby? Does anything hurt?"

"Yes, my foof hurts, and I'm feeling royally shagged, and I love it! Do not worry about me, you just need to go and do some work, and I will carry on writing and sleeping. I feel quite knackered after that amount of exercise."

"Oh my god I have just seen the time, I should of been back on set 5 minutes ago. If you need anything call me, or any of us, we will answer even if we are filming ok? I will send someone in to check on you every so often and if you get bored come on set and watch. I like seeing you on set."

"I quite like seeing you in director mode, I wouldn't mind director Ed coming home one day."

"Oh really? You want me to boss you around huh?" 

Blushing I looked down at the floor. "Bloody hell yes, I love it when you get all dominant, when you are sat in your chair I just want you to call me over and have me shag you in it. Is that a bit weird then?"

"You always surprise me."

"And I'm hoping you will surprise me. Now be off and do some work. I have my own work to do. Also can you send Paddy down when he is not filming?"

"Should I be offended that you are asking for other men into my office?"

"Only if you are the jealous type, which I know you are not. It's not like I have a need to ride him over your desk now is it? But if you hadn't sorted that out if might have been a different story."

"Oh yeah, laugh it up Zoe, laugh it up. I will send him down."

"Oh and Simon or Nick, but not all at once, and if I'm sleeping tell them not to wake me but to come back yeah?"

"Any other orders princess?"

"No, not for now. Stay cool baby, I will see you later on."

Ed left and I settled down with his laptop on the sofa bed in his office. I must of drifted off to sleep again as I woke up to someone coming in the door. 

"Who are you?"

"Edgar just sent me to check you are ok."

"Did he? But I don't know you, he wouldn't do that."

"Sorry, he just told me to come over and check you were ok and if you were sleeping to leave you. Are you ok? You don't look too well."

The man in front of me took a step closer towards me, and I froze. 

"Stay there, let me call Ed."

"He's filming still, you don't need to disturb him." As he said this he started to walk towards me again.

"I SAID STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME."

"Whoa I'm sorry what the hell is.........."

"Zoe are you ok? I could hear you shouting." Paddy had rushed in and tried to take in the scene. I was curled up on the sofa bed with my phone in my hand and the man was stood with his hands up. 

"Get him out Paddy, get him the fuck out of here. I don't know who he is but he shouldn't be in here."

"Sshhhh calm down pretty girl, that's just Adam. He's one of the new runners the studio took on. Sshhhh come on don't cry."

Paddy shooed Adam from the room while he was holding me close and stroking my hair. 

"What happened Zoe? Did he try it on or something?"

"No, he asked if I was ok and said Ed had sent him over to check on me. He scared me Paddy."

"Why did he scare you?"

"I thought he was going to take me."

"Oh pretty girl, come on. It's ok. Let me text Ed and get him to come over yeah?"

"No, don't tell him, please don't tell him. We have had an amazing day, I don't want to ruin it."

"Adam will tell him Zoe, he will be worried he will be fired for upsetting you, so he will tell him everything."

"Find him and bring him back here for me, but stay with me Paddy, don't leave me ok?"

"Ok, but Ed needs to know, you might have had an amazing day but it's still only a month Zoe since you were found. That's fuck all isn't it? Deep down you know you are rushing things huh?"

"Just go and get him oh fucking wise one. One fucking session and the whole world thinks they are a therapist."

Paddy kissed my forehead and rushed off to get Adam back. Luckily he had hung around outside waiting for Paddy to come back out and to explain himself. As he entered the office again he looked at me with wariness. 

"Hi Adam, I'm Zoe, I'm sorry for how I reacted I understand you are new."

"Yes, I only started two days ago."

"Has anyone told you anything about me? Don't worry I won't shout at anyone for gossiping."

"Only that you had been poorly and need to sleep a lot, that's honestly all I knew."

"I will tell you why I panicked Adam, you can tell who you want, I don't mind ok? Just over a month ago I was abducted by one of my patients. I'm a psychologist and one of them took it a step too far. I was found by Ed and a private investigator a week later tied up in a house in a bad way. So bad that I went into full cardiac arrest and it was the investigator that saved me. I am a bit irrational at the moment and I just panicked when you came in and I didn't know you."

"I had no idea, I am so sorry, I didn't know what I had done wrong. All Edgar said to me was 'go and check on Zoe and if she is sleeping leave her be' I didn't want to upset you. Shit I can't believe you went through that."

"Well shit happens Adam, but, you did nothing wrong, this will go no further and I would prefer it if you didn't tell Ed about this. He will worry and he has had enough worry with everything that has gone on. I will just say to Ed I would prefer if if only people I know came to check on me ok? And now we know each other it will be fine."

Adam looked across to Paddy as if for validation and he nodded and smiled. 

"Get back to work if you need to Adam, if not you can hang here anytime I am around. Im sorry if I frightened you."

"That's ok, I will get back to work, thanks for explaining Zoe I was worried I was going to get sacked."

"Fuck off, get sacked. I wouldn't let that happen. Stay cool Adam and I will see you around." 

Adam left and I let out a big sigh. "So Mr hot shot therapist, what the shitting hell is wrong with me?"

"Ha you're asking me? I can't sort out my own life without your help let alone yours, but, in my very unqualified opinion you need to take time. What you went through was horrific and life changing. You may never be the same person again."

"Then he has won hasn't he? He stole my life from me and you say I won't be the same again." 

"No, he hasn't won, you will be a stronger person, you and Ed are already stronger together, I heard you are moving in together. You will be like a Phoenix. Yes they die and burst into flames, but they are reborn stronger than ever."

"Shit, you're good."

"No you're good Zoe that's why I asked Ed to hire you for the movie. We need someone like you to talk to. I have known you for a day and I want to be your friend forever. I even wanted to marry you for Christ's sake. I still want to, damn Edgar to hell for getting you first. And now he's the big hero for saving you as well"

"I think he saved me the day we met, not the day he found me in that house."

"Then you deserve all the happiness you will bring to each other, and if you have babies name your first born Paddy."

"Ha yeah that ain't never going to happen. So do you wanna take me to Ed?"

"Come on then, I will be your gentlemanly escort, but I may look at your arse secretly whilst we are walking."

"Let's boo boo Paddy."

"Let's boo boo Zoe."


	14. Chapter 14

We were driving to the hospital before we went onto work. I say work like it's my work, it's Ed's work, but I kind of enjoy going. Yes, I'm a big fat hypocrite. I have moaned all the time that it's weird but what are you going to do sue me? I enjoyed seeing all the people on set. I loved talking with them and I loved seeing Ed concentrating on how his dream would come to fruition. 

Ed was quiet on the way to the hospital. 

"What's wrong Yogi? You're very quiet."

"I just want them to say you are fine and we can get back to normal. Well normal for us. We will never be normal will we?"

"A part of me would love to be normal and have normal shit happen to us, but no I don't think that will ever happen. They will say I'm fine, and then we can get on with life, have you thought about where you would like to move to?"

"I have actually, I would love to move to Hampstead. We could buy a house near the Heath and then when babies come along we can walk around the Heath and it would be good."

"Did you just say when babies come along? When? Not if?" 

"Yeah so? Don't you want babies one day?"

"Shit, I hadn't even thought about it yet. What also worries me is the bloody plural. It's not baby it's babies. I'm 36 years old, I don't know if I have enough time left for a baby let alone babies in the plural."

"Well I had better work on you then."

"Lets just move house first and see what happens. I can't think of fucking babies and moving and work."

"Talking of work, have you thought anymore about the offer?"

"No, well yes of course I have thought about it, but no I haven't made my mind up. I need to go back to work though, I can't keep living off you."

"You're not living off me, don't be stupid, I have the money, we are together, it's what couples do. And when you start working again you can take me on a mental night out. Deal?"

"Deal, but I will make it a mad one. Right we are here, pull up in the car park over there and let's get this done."

We held hands as we walked to the Doctors office, and sat in the waiting room waiting to be called. The joys of going private meant the Doctor was actually on time and we both entered his office together still holding hands. 

"So Zoe how is everything going? Is the memory coming back?"

"Yep, absolutely fine Dr. I still forget to do some stuff but that's getting less and less."

"Any headaches or nausea or blurred vision?"

"No nothing like that. Admittedly I haven't been given the opportunity to do too much as Ed here has wrapped me in cotton wool but no pain at all."

"That's fantastic news. Now we will do a brain scan in a minute and if all is well we will have a small chat afterwards and then you won't have to see me for six months. One thing I have to bring up and I am sure you know this Zoe is counselling. Have you thought about seeing anyone? Both of you possibly?"

"We have been working stuff out, I have had issues, but I am now writing the story of what happened to me, and it seems to be working stuff out in my head. I also gave someone some therapy yesterday and I loved it. The buzz was back."

"That's good to hear, getting back to work is a good step, I will clear you for work."

"Errr what about other stuff Doctor can I go back to doing anything now? Like erm exercise and stuff." I was trying not to giggle like a schoolgirl as I said it. 

"Yes, if the scan is clear and shows the fracture has healed you can go back to exercise and other stuff as you call it. You are talking about sex aren't you Zoe?"

Coughing I managed to stutter out a "yes" much to Ed's and the Doctors amusement. 

After the scan we had to wait for the results for about thirty minutes. It was the longest thirty minutes of my life. This was the final step. The final all clear, well for six months anyway. We were called back in and sat back down. 

"Well Zoe, you are a miracle healer. Your fracture is healed do you want to see the scan?"

"Oh god yes, have you got all the films?"

"Yes, I thought you would want to see what was going on in that head of yours. Every Doctor I ever treat has to see the full film."

"Shit, I forget you are an actual Doctor." Piped up Ed from next to me. "Sorry about my language but it's weird to think of you as Dr Davis."

"Believe it honey, that's what I am. Now sshhhh so I can see my brain."

We viewed the films and I tried as best I could to explain to Ed the different parts of the brain and what emotions and functions they had. He seemed interested, or at least good at faking it. The Doctor also offered to email me the film so I could keep it and teach Ed even more. I'm sure I heard a fucking groan escape from Ed's mouth. We left the hospital with arms wrapped around each other. 

"Told you I would be fine, you can't keep super Zoe down. Now have we got time to go to the pub before work?"

"Zoe it's 10.30am, you can't go to the pub at this time."

"We don't have to be at work till 1, we have time, especially if we go to the pub near work. Come on it's been weeks and weeks."

"Fuck this is not healthy Zoe, but I will allow one. That's it one. And not one bottle just one glass." 

"Yes jobsworth, I promise just the one, until tonight and then its party time at our place yeah?"

"Ha, yes, but it's not Kat and Zoe's party time. It's take it slightly easy party time."

"Spoil sport. Now come on, to the pub and work we go."

We drove out of Central London and were soon on the quieter roads. 

"Yogi? Do you remember yesterday when you said you wanted me to tell you what I was going to do to you?"

"Yeeesssss."

"Well I have decided I don't want to do that. I'm going to show you instead. You just concentrate on driving and leave me too it."

"Zo, no, shit I'm driving, what the hell are you going to do?"

I ignored his question and started undoing his jeans. I pulled them down slightly and could see his cock with the start of a hard on, good start Zoe good start. 

"No, we can't do this, I will bloody crash the car."

I pulled my seatbelt further forward so I could put my head on his lap and then I started licking the tip of his cock. God he felt good. I plunged my mouth over his cock and took him whole. 

"Shit, fuck I need to pull over."

I carried on taking him fully with every thrust of my mouth, over and over again. Ed's groans were getting louder, and then I felt the car come to a halt. I didn't stop, I wanted to make him come and have a smile on his face while working all day. Ed threw his head back onto the car headrest and closed his eyes. I frantically sucked hard and fast and from the noises coming from Ed he was getting close. I then felt him coming with his hot liquid spurting down my throat. I gagged (as always) slightly, but swallowed every drop down. I lifted my head and looked up at him smiling. 

"That filthy smile is back Zoe, that's going to get you in so much trouble one day."

"Oohhh what sort of trouble? Am I in trouble now? Did you not like it Yogi?"

"You are in a whole heap of trouble. I thought I was going to crash the fucking car."

"Nah you bloody wouldn't."

"I bloody would of if I hadn't found this very secluded layby."

"Yes it is rather secluded, people could get up to all sorts here and no one would see."

"I suppose people could, but not us? Oh no we are not like that are we? We can control ourselves, we are not animals."

"No, not us, we wouldn't be so cheap. No, like I wouldn't take my trousers off like this would I?"

I started to pull down my jeans I had on. 

"And then I wouldn't start to touch myself, cos that would be wrong wouldn't it?"

"Oh fuck yeah. No we have more class than that baby."

"And then I wouldn't want to whisper in your ear for you to come and touch me as well, cos that would be really bad."

"Mmmmm really bad."

Ed's fingers had hooked my knickers to the side and was teasing my entrance with his fingers. 

"And I wouldn't beg you to stop teasing me, and finger me till I come cos that's just plan rude isn't it begging?"

Ed thrust 2 fingers in me and it took my breath away. 

"God yes, very rude. Baby you are so wet. I want to hear you coming. 

"I wouldn't dream of denying you what you want baby."

Ed's fingers were fucking me hard and fast, I wanted to scream his name with every thrust. 

"You are getting so tight and wet baby, shit I wish it was my cock in you."

"Ed, sweetheart, fuck Ed, oh yes, that feels good."

I could feel myself getting closer and closer, my hand moved down and rubbed my clit and it set me off on the ride of pleasure. 

"Shit. Yes. Right there. Yes Ed."

I could feel myself convulsing round his hand. He slowed the pace down until he was gently stroking me. I looked over and saw his cock was hard again. This man was like a machine. I had never known a man be able to get so hard so quickly after coming. I fucking loved it. 

I moved my hand over to him and started stroking. He removed his hand from me and before he could do anything I grabbed hold of it and sucked his fingers that had been inside me. Tasting myself was obviously a huge turn on for him, before I knew what was happening he was trying to push the passenger seat back and climb over the gear stick and hand break. I was trying not to laugh at him struggling to get across. Come on you would laugh, it's never dignified or romantic getting it on in a car is it? The knobs and buttons get in lots of places they shouldn't. 

I helped with pushing the seat back and laying it flat, then he was on me and in me. No messing just straight in and after the orgasm I had just had, it felt amazing. I was still sensitive and the feeling of him pushing into me had started me on the journey where I knew I would come again and pretty soon. 

With every hard thrust, and believe you me they were hard, Ed was moaning my name. I wrapped my legs around him as best I could with the limited space, and pressed him into me further. At the angle we were at, his pubic bone was hitting my clit and bringing me to climax a lot quicker than I thought. 

"Yogi, I'm gonna come, now baby, fuck me now hard."

I thought he was going to break me in two as he thrust just a few more times as hard as he could, but it had the desired effect and I was screaming his name at the top of my lungs as I exploded for the second time. I thought he would slow down as I was so sensitive but he didn't, he was prolonging my ecstasy until I felt something I had never felt before, I felt another orgasm building up in me. 

"Shitting hell, do not fucking stop baby, this has never happened before, do not fucking stop."

I could feel myself getting tighter and tighter almost gripping his cock, not letting it move so freely inside me, and then I exploded bringing Ed on the ride with me, we both screamed out with the noise echoing round the car. 

"Fuck me royally Edgar Wright, what the fuckity fuck happened there? Jesus, I thought they only existed in Jackie Collins books. Shit you have set a high standard now."

"Are you ok? You look fucked."

"I think you will find I am, I will be needing a sit down and a sleep when we get to the studios. And I fucking definitely need a drink to recover from that." 

"I'm knackered and I have a long day to get through, can we change party night to tomorrow night, so we can go home, rest and then go for round two?"

"If you can do what you did just then hell yeah. I won't ever leave the flat if we can get it like that every time. Bugger me. My heart is still pounding."

"Well tidy yourself up, we need to get to work via the pub and we need to get the fuck out of here before we are caught."

"So are you glad I showed you and not just told you?"

"Hell yes."

"So if I told you that when we get home, I'm going to rip my clothes off, then rip yours off and you are going to fuck me in every room in every position, in every possible hole, that wouldn't do it for you?"

"Lalalalalalalalalalala I would say shut up, I'm not listening to you anymore. I have to get in work mode."

I burst out laughing, and hugged him tightly. 

"Come on Yogi. Let's get you to work, let me get some sleep before I take major advantage of you tonight."


	15. Chapter 15

I didn't even think about going back to work for a couple of weeks. I was having too much fun getting my life back. It was Ed, sex, filming, talking to actors and drinking that got me through. I had also got into writing my story in a big way. Anytime I had free it was spent on Ed's laptop tapping away, getting everything down, it was cathartic. Ed would read over what I had written and give me comments and hugs when he found me crying my eyes out. 

"You should get this published." Ed said one evening after reading the latest stuff.

"I don't sodding think so, it's more for my own mental health, no one else's. And it's not the most cheeriest of stories to read is it?"

"On the contrary I think it is hopeful and insightful into how humans behave when faced with extreme circumstances. You make me cry and laugh in this book. I would buy it."

"Yes, you would buy it cos you know I would fucking kill you if you didn't. No one else would."

"I think they would, it's like a kind of fucked up self help book. People love those."

"How the pissing hell is it a self help book? You are fucking crazy."

"You show them how to get their mind space right, how to cope with shit and how to never give up."

"Really? You get all that from what I have written? Fuck me, I just thought it was a load of crap."

"Don't put yourself down, if you want I can show a friend of mine who's in publishing a couple of chapters and see what he says?"

"Fuck off Ed, I'm not ready for that sort of criticism. This is just for us to read to help us both see what happened and move forward. Now changing the subject, I found a house yesterday while you were working."

"You have? I didn't know you had been looking."

"It's perfect, it's near the Heath, it has a back garden and get this two fucking offices. Two offices. One each."

"No bedrooms but two offices?"

"Ha ha fuck off. No it has four bedrooms, I suppose it was six at one time with having two offices, but I would actually have a home office."

"Well call them to view it then. How much is it on for?"

"Well.... That's the thing, it's slightly above the budget we set, but I could get a mortgage for the difference, I hope."

"How much above?"

"Only very slightly, and we would never have to move again, we could stay there forever and have babies and grandchildren in the house."

"You don't have to blag it! Just tell me how much over."

"£500k? I know it's a lot over, but it's perfect, and the photos look perfect and the garden is huge for London."

"So the budget I gave you wasn't big enough huh? I think you have expensive tastes Dr Davis."

"I know, and I never thought I would be looking at houses for this amount of money, it's obscene. Who the fuck spends £2 million on a house?"

"Not you apparently, no, you need £2.5 million."

"Oh piss off, I couldn't help it. It was so pretty. Don't pissing worry I will keep looking, maybe something better will come up."

Ed walked over to the desk I was sat at and hugged me from behind. His arms blissfully enveloping me. 

"Show it to me now, come on. It won't hurt to look."

"No, I will keep looking. I am being spoilt and selfish, especially when it's not my money."

"Shut the fuck up about the money. Everything I have is yours. How many times have I said that."

"And everything I have is mine as well."

"Isn't that how it normally works with women?"

"Sexist wanker, but yes that's how it works."

"Now show me this perfect house, we can go and visit over the weekend."

I opened the estate agents website and found the details and pushed the laptop in Ed direction. 

"Knock yourself out, I'm going for a cigarette."

I left the office and went out onto the balcony. My head was whirring overtime with what was going in my life, I had some big decisions to make on work. I had been asked over and over if I will go and work on Ed's films and I have to admit it was fucking tempting. I was stupid as I had been doing it for a couple of weeks anyway for free, should I not just carry on and get paid? Was that the easy way out though? Was it running away from what had happened? Was it deserting the reason I became a psychologist in the first place? Fuck when did life become so hard? 

I got my phone out of my pocket and opened my twitter app. 

"Massive work decision, should I just leave it up to fate? #LetTheGodsDecide"

"What makes one person more worthy of help over another? #EveryoneNeedsHelpSometimes"

Fuck this, now I have added another level into the equation. Why do I have this fascination that actors don't really need help, they just need a chat. That's a generalisation that I hadn't thought about. I know everyone has problems, so why do I think that being with 'normal' people was more worthy? Actors are normal people too, with real feelings and problems. Just because they have a different job doesn't make them immune from life's woes. Just look at the amount that go into rehab to understand that. 

I tried to think of it from a different angle. Actors would be more reluctant to go to a psychologist off their own back, for numerous different reasons. So could I do more help by being on set and helping them as things cropped up? Yes, by fuck yes I could. Decision made. That was easier than I thought. Sometimes navel gazing does work, you just have to ask the right questions to yourself. 

"Decision made. A new member of staff for @Edwright on Monday morning. #DoIGetPerks"

Before I could even put my phone down, my notification tone was beeping. 

"@ZoeD Best decision you have ever made. Welcome to the team."

That was from Paddy. 

"@PaddyC I blame you for this. You and your big mouth. #PhoenixRising"

"@ZoeD The most beautiful Phoenix in the world. Don't tell Ed. Marry me?"

"@PaddyC You were too late baby, get in quicker next time."

"@ZoeD @PaddyC Can I interrupt this love in? #Shesmywoman"

Ha, bless Ed, sat in the other room, looking at houses and seeing this on his phone. 

"@Edwright Can I still sleep with the boss? #NewStaffMember @PaddyC"

"@ZoeD You can sleep with me? I won't tell the boss. @Edwright"

"@PaddyC I am here! #FuckingActors @ZoeD"

"@Edwright @PaddyC boys, boys, calm your tits down. I'm going to sleep with @SPeggy"

"@ZoeD @PaddyC @SPeggy I wouldn't bother he's crap. He leaves you in the morning."

"@Edwright @PaddyC @SPeggy Aawww does Edgar feel used and abused ;-)"

"@ZoeD @PaddyC @SPeggy Yes, very. And he never called. #IFeltCheap"

I was laughing out loud to myself, just a few months ago who would of thought I would be tweeting famous people about sex? I hated following 'celebrities' on twitter, they were boring and up their own arse, now I'm having a full blown love in with them. God people would hate me. I saw Ed had tweeted. 

"Booked a house viewing for tomorrow. Could this be the one? #Itlooksperfect"

He liked it, he actually liked it. I knew it was perfect but with the price were we crazy? I knew Ed had money but we had never discussed how much he actually had. I had £50k that's it. I had £50k to my name. No house to sell, nothing else. I hated knowing that we were going to have that conversation. Money tainted relationships, I had learnt that the hard way with the arsehole. A sigh escaped my lips as I stubbed out my cigarette and went to find Ed, might as well get the shit over and done with. 

I watched him from the doorway as he sat at his office desk looking at his laptop screen. God I fucking loved him, he looked so beautiful sat working not knowing I was there. 

"Stop staring." 

His voice interrupted my thoughts. 

"Sorry baby, you just looked so beautiful, I didn't think you knew I was here."

"Course I knew you were watching. So about this house?......"

"I wanted to talk to you about that. I don't want to have this conversation with you, but it needs to be said. Please don't get angry. I don't have a clue how much you earn, I don't need to know exactly but, fuck this is hard, I don't earn a lot. I'm still new to private practice, and now I'm taking over this new job with you, I don't even know how much I will get and you are buying us a big house and, shit, I don't want to sponge off you."

"Calm down Zoe, I don't mind telling you anything about how much I earn. Its hard to say exactly as it depends how well my films do, but I have done ok, I can afford the new house even with you upping the budget, you don't need to take a mortgage out. This is my gift to us, like you said it could be our forever house. The house will be in joint names......"

"No, no you can't do that, it's your house. You are buying it."

"I won't argue about this. It is our house, it will always be our house. I don't want to live with you in my house, I want to live with you in our house. And to answer your other question, I don't know how much the producers are offering you for the new job, you will have to negotiate that with them."

"You are fucking mad do you know that? How can you just give me half a house? That's nuts. When I know how much I will be earning we will have to talk about bills and boring shit."

"Don't you worry about anything, we will sort it out. I don't know why we don't just put all our money in a joint account and spend what we need."

"You are like a fucking husband from the 1950's, people don't do that anymore Ed, people work it out to the exact penny."

"No, you mean your arsehole ex did."

"Well, yeah shit I do, he worked out a percentage figure based on what our salary was and it had to be in his account on the first of the month."

"Fuck that's bollocks, I can't be bothered with that crap. If you are happy we will open a new account and all the money will be in that and if you need anything you buy it."

"Does that include pretty things?"

"Pretty things?"

"You know, girlie pretty things, like shoes and dresses and sexy underwear for my gorgeous husband........ Fuck boyfriend, I meant fucking boyfriend. Shit. I only said it cos I said about you being a 50's husband. I didn't mean anything. Stop laughing you prick."

"Prick? Is that anyway to talk to your gorgeous husband?"

"Oh shut the sodding hell up. It was a mistake, a slip of the tongue. You never made a mistake?"

"Oh baby, come here, I like seeing you embarrassed."

I went and sat on his lap, cuddling into his shoulder. 

"I feel like a complete idiot now. Way to go Zoe, always being a dick."

"You are not an idiot, well sometimes you are but that's why I love you. And in answer to your original question yes it includes 'pretty things' especially sexy underwear for your gorgeous eerr what was it? Husband?"

I pouted up at him sulking at his piss taking. Anyone could make that mistake couldn't they? It didn't mean anything, no, it didn't mean anything. I would never get married again, I swore off marriage when I left arsehole.

Ed bent his down and kissed me. "I love you Zo-Zo, lets buy our house first and then maybe the husband bit will come later."

"I don't want a husband, I had one and he was a cheating, lying scumbag. I don't want another one of those."

"So you never, ever want to get married again?"

"No, I don't. It makes it harder to walk away. You have to speak to each other to get divorced. It's shit."

"Oh, ok, glad I know now." Ed replied with more than a hint of anger in his voice. 

Oh bugger, that didn't go as well as I planned. Why does he sound so angry? It doesn't mean I don't love him, I don't need a marriage to know I will love Ed for always. 

"Don't be angry Yogi...."

"I'm not angry, anyway I have to get these script changes done. I will be out in the living room soon ok?"

Oh yes sir, I assume I was dismissed. I got off his lap and went back out onto the balcony and called Kat. 

"Hey Katty baby, how's it going?"

"Oh fuck me stranger, you are actually calling me?"

"I know, I know, I have been a shit crappy friend. It's just been manic with going to the studio and writing the book and shagging."

"What's wrong Zo, you don't sound happy."

"I'm fine, honestly I'm fine."

"Zoe Davis, you can never pissing lie to me. I have known you too many years. Spill. Trouble in paradise hun?"

"No, well yes and no. I think I have upset Ed and I didn't mean to."

"What the fuck did he do? Or you do?"

"I told him I never wanted to get married as it makes it too hard to walk away."

"What the fuck, he asked you to marry him?"

"No, he didn't ask. We were talking about shit and I called him husband by mistake and then I was sodding mortified and then he said wait till we had bought the new house and then I fucking said I didn't ever want a husband ever again."

"Oh you stupid bitch. Even if you don't want to get married you don't tell the man that. They get pissing prickly about marriage. If you say you want to get married they run a mile, if you say you don't they wonder what the hell is wrong with you as every woman wants to get married." 

"Now he's all arsey and pretending to get on with work but I know he's pissed off."

"Give him a blow job to say sorry. Men will always forgive anything with a blow job."

"Ha thanks for that great relationship advice Kat. It was all going so fucking well, we have found a house we love, I had already mentally moved in, and now he is shitty with me."

"Zoe, you are the love of my life, you always will be, but you need to hear this. Just because arsehole treated you like shit doesn't mean Ed will. Do not let what has happened in the past cloud your future with someone new. Any idiot can see how much Ed loves you, of course he wants to marry you and probably have lots of disgusting babies and all the other crap that you middle aged people in love want. I knew arsehole was a bad one from the start. Ed I have loved from the start, you know I'm right bitch, so listen to me. Marry him, marry him tomorrow if you want to, just don't make me wear a shitty dress. You will both be together for ever whether you get married or you don't."

"It's not that easy Katty. What if he cheats on me and leaves me?"

"And what difference does being married make to that? You will be living together for fucks sake so if he cheats on you it's still going to sting like a bitch. Those feelings won't change whether you have the mini handcuffs that are wedding rings on or not. Answer me this. If arsehole hadn't happened would you want to marry Ed?"

"Yes, I think so, I love him so much. Yes I would want to marry him."

"So you are letting arsehole control your life, by not getting married because of what he did to you?"

Fuck Kat was good. She must of been taking lessons from me. 

"When did you get so fucking smart Katty?"

"I always have been, I just don't show it often. Now go off and shag his brains out, and a blow job, he will forgive the bitch anything for a blow job."

"Yes you said that already. How do I go in and tell him, that maybe I want to get married one day? Not tomorrow but maybe one day?"

"Don't say a word, just go in naked and fuck him. And with that Im leaving you, it's Friday night I have a date and hopefully a shag."

"What happened to AJ, I thought things were going well?"

"They were ok, but he got pissed off with all my drinking and working. I can't cope with needy men, you know that."

"So who's the lucky fella tonight?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask, it's someone you know actually. I met him at the studios."

"Who? Tell me the fuck who?"

"Paddy."

"What the actual fuck? Paddy? As in actor Paddy? How did you two meet?"

"When you dragged me along to watch about the disabled's, I turned to the guy next to me while you were off snogging Ed and said 'that was my idea, Ed stole the disabled's from me.' Paddy turned round, laughed and said 'you sound like my kind of girl.' So we chatted, I gave him my number and we are meeting tonight. So now you know I have to go. Legs and foofs to shave my lovely."

"Well you have a good night, you had better fucking call me in the morning or afternoon whenever you get up and he has left."

I hung up laughing at her. I must be losing my touch, why didn't I think to put Kat and Paddy together? I couldn't wait to tell Ed, but first I had to apologise and get him to forgive me. Thinking about Kat's idea it didn't sound to bad now, maybe he will forgive me quicker with a good blow job. 

I stripped off my clothes and put on Ed's favourite agent provocateur bra and knickers. I slipped my satin gown over the top leaving it undone. And made my way over to his office. On the way I heard

"I don't know mate, I love her so much, of course I wanted to bloody marry her.......... No not straight away, but god soon....... I can't imagine her not being my wife......... No I know what your saying that these days it doesn't make a difference..... But I want the world to know she is my wife, and that means something to me........ Yeah, she knows I was pissed off........ I will have to apologise...... Course I can see that her ex hurt her........... Yeah I suppose it would put me off as well...... Stop talking sense and just agree with me...."

I had heard enough and walked in. Standing in the doorway, I leant up against the doorway with my elbow above my head and my gown open. Ed looked up and his eyes almost popped out. Ha I felt sexy. I signalled for him to carry on talking. And made my way over to him and turned his office chair around so he was facing me. I got onto my knees and started undoing his jeans. 

"Nick, I'm going to have to go in a minute.......... Yes, I will fucking make up with her....... And shit eerrrrr yep I will apologise....."

I had taken Ed carefully in my mouth and I was running my teeth up and down his cock. 

"Fuck....yeah mate I will call you back....something's come up...bye"

I smothered down a giggle at his words and carried on. Within minutes Ed was coming in my mouth and groaning loudly. 

"Oh god Zoe, what are you doing to me? I'm sorry I got shitty baby."

"Sshhhh you have nothing to apologise for, it was my fault, I was insensitive and confusing past shit, with the future. I'm sorry Yogi."

I started to get up off the floor and stand in front of him. He pulled me towards him and nuzzled his head into my stomach. 

"I won't ever hurt you, I wouldn't ever cheat on you, why would I? I have a sex goddess right here, who turns me on more than I ever thought possible."

"Ohhhh sex goddess? I like that. Maybe you should just call me goddess for short."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, in front of everyone you shall say 'goddess are you ok? Do you need anything?' Or 'I love you goddess you make me so happy and one day you will be my goddess wife' and then I would say 'yes Yogi, one day I will be your goddess wife.' And then you will push me on to your office desk, whilst I am just wearing underwear and a satin gown and you will fuck me really hard till I'm screaming and then you will be screaming goddess over and over again." 

"Goddess really?"

"Play nicely now Yogi."

"Ok, so I love you goddess, you make me so happy and one day you will be my goddess wife. Was that right?"

"Yes Yogi, one day I will be your goddess wife."

I kept everything crossed that he would carry through the next bit, well not my legs crossed cos that would of been a bit pointless. I needn't have worried, he picked me up wrapping my legs around him, placing me down on his desk, and royally fucked me. God it was bliss. 

"I love you goddess, I truly love you."

"I love you too Yogi, you will ask me one day to be your wife won't you?"

"One day maybe."

"I fucking asked for that maybe didn't i?"

"Yes you did, now how about we cuddle up on the sofa with some wine and a DVD and relax?"

"That sounds perfect, oh shit I forget to tell you, you will never guess who Katty is going out with tonight."

"Well tell me?"

"No guess, you will never guess."

"Well fucking tell me if I will never guess."

"You have to at least pretend to play the sodding game honey. Anyway she is going out with Paddy."

"Paddy? Like my Paddy?"

"Well if you want to call him your Paddy, then yes your Paddy."

"How the fuck did that happen? And shit that's going to be a messy night, you haven't experienced Paddy when he's not working, oh god help wherever they end up."

"I think it could be the perfect relationship for them, Kat has tried the opposites attract thing and it hasn't worked, maybe going for a like minded person will be good for her."

"Still how did they meet?"

"At your hotbed of studio lust lover boy. Apparently they bonded over the disabled's."

"What they shagged in the disabled's at the studio?"

"No, she told him the disabled's were her idea and he said she sounded like his sort of girl and now they are going on a date. You dirty bugger thinking they did it in the disabled's. Although this is Kat so I can see why you may have thought that."

"Well let's hope they don't kill each other tonight with drink and lust."

"Nah that will be us. Come on lets get the wine, fuck the DVD and go straight to bed."


	16. Chapter 16

Things have moved on at a frightening rate. We had bought a mother fucking house for one, we viewed it, both loved it and put in an outrageous offer that we were both surprised was accepted. We worried the reason for being accepted was it was falling to bits but no the full survey we had had done, showed it was fine. We then found out the owners were moving abroad and needed a quick sale so that's why we got it for our original budget. I told you it was outrageous. 

I had started at the studios and loved my work. It was different to what I had been used to but I enjoyed going in every day. I even had my own office there. Ed was right, I hardly ever saw him, only on breaks or if I went onto the set and watched him working which was getting less and less as more people came to see me. It was getting so busy my 'drop in' style of appointment was now impossible and I had to get people to make proper appointments. It seemed everyone on the crew and cast wanted some sort of therapy or another. 

I had also finally moved out of my original flat. I had been paying rent on it which seemed pointless when I would be moving soon, so on evenings and weekends off filming we would go over and pack up. I may have said it was small but I still had a lot of crap. And I also had to move out of my office as well. Again paying rent and not using it was a waste of money. Poor Ed's flat was covered in boxes, it had always been spacious compared to my shoebox but now with all my crap around we could not move properly for banging into boxes. 

"For fucking hells sake. Ed when can we move? I am covered in bruises from these fucking boxes."

"Patience. It shouldn't be much longer. Pile them up in the corner a bit more."

"I'm trying too, but the corner is not as big as you bloody think it is. And these boxes are fucking heavy and oowwwww.....fuck."

"Don't put your back out baby, let me help."

Ed walked into the room to see me struggling with a massive box that I was trying to lift up onto the pile. 

"Fuck Zoe, you can't lift this by yourself. Come on pass it over here a bit."

Between the two of us we managed to get the box up and out of the way.

"This is stupid, can't we put some in storage Ed? Then we will at least have some room and...."

I was interrupted by my phone ringing. 

"Hello Zoe Davis....... Yes......... So soon, how has it happened so soon..........these things normally take months........ Ok, yes I will meet the CPS on Monday........ Thank you for letting me know. Bye."

I slumped to the floor dropping my phone and cradled my knees. How could this of happened so quickly? Cases took months to build, unless the CPS knew he was going to get off with diminished responsibility. And he was going to get off, how could he possibly not? 

Ed sat on the floor beside me, put his arm around my shoulders but didn't say anything. What could he say? He must know what the conversation was about. 

"You heard that huh?"

"Yep."

"The trial starts in two weeks. Two fucking weeks Ed. It won't even be a proper trial as he is fucking sick. How has it come round so quickly. It's only been a few months, these things take months normally."

"We will deal with it, filming is finishing next week, I can take some time off post production to be with you every day. Did they say how long it would last?"

"No, I have a meeting on Monday with the CPS, they will go over the case. Can you come with me?"

"What time? We will change the shooting schedule to fit around it."

"10am. Is that going to be possible? That's an awful lot of people to get in touch with to change stuff."

"Let's get on it now then. Let me call John and he can call the crew, I will call the cast and you can call your appointments to change them. Sorted."

"What did I do before you?"

"Shout at people in the street?"

"Ha yeah, you're right. I don't honestly remember what I was like before you. Does that sound weird?"

"You were the same wonderful person you are now. Nothing has changed, maybe I have calmed your drinking down a touch, but you are still the same Zoe I fell in love with."

"Why did you fall in love with me? I'm not fishing for fucking compliments, just interested in what you see in me."

"I see a beautiful woman, who will speak her mind, who intrigued me, and still does. I have told you before what I love about you. I'm just mind blown that you fell in love with me."

"Who wouldn't I love you? You're cute."

"Cute? Fucking cute? Is that it?"

"No, but it's the first thing I noticed about you. I have never told you this but I only really looked at you properly when I left the solicitors. I noticed your messy hair and thought its cute but needs to be cut. Then when I got home all I could think about was you. I had Gordon but I just thought about you. And then you gave such good twitter that I fell in love with you right then and there. And then that first evening in the bar, I realised I loved you but my brain couldn't comprehend anything of that magnitude. How could I love a man I had just met?"

"It was serendipity. It truly was for us." 

"I believe that too. What would of happened if I hadn't tweeted you? What if I just threw your phone number away? These things were totally alien to me, I never did that to a guy before, but I felt I needed to with you. I know I'm going to grow old with you. Everyday I look at you and think I can't fall anymore in love, and everyday I do. Sometimes I feel so in love with you I'm going to burst, and then I find it all a bit sickening really, and think I need to calm the fuck down. When I said you are my male Kat, I meant it. I can't imagine life without you, I think that's why I freaked at marriage. I don't want anything to change for us, and I got married thinking it was for life and then everything changed and I didn't want that to happen to us. I know it won't now. Nothing will change for us. My love for you will grow everyday like it does, I will still want to shag you on a daily basis, and perhaps even have a baby one day. Note the baby not babies plural."

"Zo-Zo, you make me the luckiest, proudest man in the world. I can't believe I have someone like you in my life. My work was always my vision and what I wanted, since you it's changed into what I can do to make you proud of me. I'm working so hard on this new film to make it something you will love, because I want you to love it. I want babies with you, and yes I said babies. I would have you barefoot and pregnant all the time if I could."

"Yeah that's not going to happen."

"Maybe?"

"No definitely not maybe. One is a maybe, permanently pregnant is a big fat fuck off."

"Can't blame me for trying."

"We can have plenty of trying for babies, just no actual bloody babies. And on that note we must make these phone calls. Good distraction to take my mind off it though Yogi, good distraction."

We sat on the floor making phone call after phone call changing everyone's times for Monday, kissing and groping in between. This was what I loved about us, moments like this, it was nothing but making phone calls, but doing it together knowing what I was too face on Monday gave me more strength than I had ever imagined in my life. 

I got up halfway through to get us some wine, and brought it back with glasses. Sitting back down I saw Paddy was next on the list for Ed to call. 

"Let me call Paddy."

"Why? I get worried about you two. The flirting is getting worse and blatantly in my face as well."

"Oohhhh jealous Ed, I like that. It's when we do it behind your back you have to worry baby. Now let me phone him and listen it could be amusing."

I dialled his number and waited for him to answer. 

"Paddy? Hey baby it's Zoe. How's it going?"

"Hey pretty phoenix, what's going on? It's not like you to call on a Friday night."

"Just had to change your call time for Monday, and just wondered what you were up to as well."

"What times the call on Monday then? Do I get a fucking lie in?"

"Yep you get a longer lie in. All cool there. So Paddy what are you up to tonight? Do you fancy coming over?"

Ed looked at me like I was barking mad and mouthed 'why?'

"No, just having a quiet one tonight Zoe, your bloke has made me knackered, working me so hard."

"Oh that's sad to hear Paddy, so it's not Kat that's made you knackered by making you hard then?"

"Fuck you Zo, fuck you." And then the famous Kat cackle was heard. 

Ed and I burst out laughing as Kat took over Paddy's phone. 

"I knew you knew when you called. Why the fuck would you phone Paddy about a change of time. That's Ed's job or someone else's job. You can't catch me out so easily bitch."

"On that note I will let you get back on with shagging, just tell Paddy it's a 2pm call on Monday now baby. I love you Katty."

"I love you too, now you go and shag Ed as well, you both need it."

Ending the call I snuggled into Ed's arms while he kissed me on the head. 

"How did you know she would be there?"

"Woman's intuition Yogi, woman's intuition."

"God you two are beginning to freak me out. It's too spooky how you know each other so well."

"I have known her nearly 30 years, you know me almost as well in a few months, so you won't be too far behind her."

"I don't think I want to know absolutely everything about you, something's should be hidden."

"You disappoint me baby. I thought you would want to know everything, all the embarrassing girlie stuff like periods and crap like that."

"No, no, no. That's girls stuff and I don't want to know it confuses me. I may be a modern man, but not that fucking modern."

"And that's why I love you, cos you're not a feathery stroker. No woman likes a modern man who's more feminine than they are. Now let's get these phone calls done. Then I can take you to bed, shag your brains out, sleep and then work on my statements for Monday. I'm going to do all I can to make sure Brian never gets out of hospital."


	17. Chapter 17

I spent the entire weekend pouring over my notes and witness statements. Ed tried to get me to stop on numerous occasions but I had to find something, something I may have missed that will make them keep him locked up forever.

"Zoe baby, take a break, come on. Let's go out and get a drink and take a walk."

"Later maybe. I need to check this, I must of missed something."

"You haven't missed anything, you have gone over it hundreds of times. No judge in their right mind will let him out on the streets again."

"It doesn't work like that Edgar. He will be sent to hospital and if they deem him to have made a recovery they will let him go. He could only be away for months. I have to find something that shows he knew what he was doing. He acted with his own full knowledge that what he was doing was wrong. I haven't got anything other than when he told me if I had said I loved him he wouldn't of done it. That shows he knew what he was doing was wrong. He knew right and wrong in that moment. I need more. I need to show that he is just evil and obsessive and not mentally ill."

"You need to relax before tomorrow morning, come and sit with me and we can look at girlie house shit and you also need to pick a desk for your new home office."

"In a minute, let me just finish this page baby."

I heard Ed sigh as he left the office. I knew he wanted me to relax, and I will, I promise I will when I have gone through this all again. Later on I heard Ed turn off the tv and go to bed. I looked at my watch and realised it was 11pm. Shit I had ignored him for hours, he was going to be pissed off.

I turned the office light off and made my way to the bedroom. 

"Ed, Ed are you awake?"

"Yes Zoe, I'm awake."

"You're pissed with me huh?"

"No, not pissed, well yes pissed off, but worried. For two days you have been obsessed. You have hardly eaten, you have ignored everyone and everything. And it's two weeks till the trial, you can't go two weeks like this."

"I don't have two weeks though baby, I only have till tomorrow, till the meeting to get my facts together. They may have already made their minds up but I have to try and find facts to make sure he is locked up."

"I know this is hard, I'm gutted they called Friday and ruined our weekend off together, but, you cannot get obsessed with this. Do not let him take over your life."

"I'm not obsessed, I just need this to end. He is not talking over my life, I won't let him."

"It will end Zoe, but when you let it end."

"What the fuck? Do you think I'm letting this drag on because I like it? He nearly killed me. That bastard nearly ended my life. You think he deserves to be walking the pissing streets? Do you want him coming after me again?"

"I didn't mean it like that, I just meant, oh god just come to bed Zoe."

"Not until you tell me exactly what you fucking mean."

"You need to trust the legal process, don't think about it anymore. Let it go."

"How can I let it go? If I knew he was out do you think I would ever sleep at night? Do you think I would ever walk down the street without always looking over my shoulder. You know fuck all about how I would feel. He didn't take you did he?"

With this I stormed out and went into the spare bedroom. I couldn't even look at him now. How fucking dare he? How dare he want me to put my trust in the legal process? What the fuck does he know? I had seen cases like this before, hell I had been a defence witness for cases. Stupid fucking director who just makes films, what does he know? I lay on the bed and sobbed, heavy tears falling on the bed. You won't win you bastard. You will never win and break me. I must of fallen asleep eventually as I woke up to sunrise streaming through the window. I dragged myself out of bed and slouched into the guest bathroom for a shower. 

I had to go back into our bedroom for clothes and saw Edgar still asleep. He looked so beautiful but not calm. His face was scrunched up and his arm was spread out onto my pillow as if holding me. How could he not understand? I thought he did understand but obviously not. I took my clothes and make up and went back to the spare room. Did I want him to come with me today? Would it create more issues? Sighing I got dressed. 

I heard Ed's alarm go off and waited to hear him get out of bed. I went and switched the coffee machine on, it seemed like it was going to be needed this morning. I heard the shower start running and the bathroom door shut. Was I upset he didn't come to see me first? Fuck I don't know what was going on in my head. 

When he eventually came into the kitchen he wouldn't look me in the eye. I wanted him to, I wanted him to say sorry and that he loved me but I got nothing. He made himself some toast and went and sat at the dining table while eating it, still not looking in my direction. The atmosphere was cold, I hated it, this is like nothing we had experienced together. We had little tiffs, fuck we weren't perfect, but this was a whole new ball game. 

"You don't have to come with me today if you don't want to Edgar."

"No, I promised I would come. I will be there."

"Well we need to leave at 9.15 so will you be ready by then?"

"Yes."

Fuck a blow job ain't going to fix this one. And why should it, I didn't do anything wrong. He made out I had dragged this out purposely. Fuck him.

The taxi came and we both got in. I don't think it was possible for anyone to sit further apart from each other as we did in the taxi. Nothing else had been said and I knew nothing else would be said until we got there. I sighed and pulled out my file of notes I had written over the weekend. I was hoping the CPS would show me statements from Brian. I may be able to glean information from those that I could prove contradicted what he had said to me. I scan read everything once more to make sure I hadn't missed anything until we reached the offices. 

We both got out, Ed paid the driver and we walked into the appointment. It seemed like we waited forever in reception until the chief prosecutor finally came to us. 

"Dr Davis? Hi, I'm Robin. We spoke on the phone. If you want to come this way we will go through everything with you."

"Hi Robin, this is my partner Edgar, is he able to come with us?"

"Of course, of course. How are you Dr Davis?"

"Call me Zoe, I'm ok." I ignored the loud scoff that came from Ed. "I have my moments of forgetfulness but I'm doing ok. I must ask Robin what way are you going to prosecute this? Brian will obviously go for insanity as his defence and as he has been kept in a secure hospital and not transferred to prison I assume this is going to stick?"

"We will go through everything in my office."

"I have made notes, from my patient notes. I know you have already gone through them yourselves but I worried things might have got overlooked."

"I can understand how upsetting this must be for you Zoe but you must leave this detail to us."

I could of sworn I heard Ed mutter 'exactly' under his breath but couldn't be sure. We arrived at Robins office and sat down around a large table. 

"I understand that Robin, but I was his doctor for well over a year, he told me things, these will help, I know they will. He cannot be allowed out. He is a danger to me and other women. He stalked his ex wife as well you know. Are you using her as a prosecution witness?

"Dr Davis, please do not worry. We are determined to seek a hospital order with an indeterminate time for attempted murder with insanity as his defence."

"But, but what if he claims to be rehabilitated within a few months? They will let him go free. And are they going to try for a lower charge of grievous bodily harm?"

"They have attempted to reduce the charges to GBH, we are resisting at the moment but it may happen. We have to prove he wanted to kill you and there is evidence that this was not the case. Feeding you for example. That only stopped when he was arrested so his barrister will claim he was not intent to kill you."

"He didn't bloody tell anyone where I was though did he? Surely that is proof that he wanted me to die there. He knew I would have no food or water."

"We will be using that reasoning for our prosecution yes. The defence will say his mental health was so diminished he was not capable of telling anyone."

"If he was that incapable why did he think to bring me fucking food on the first place then? Sorry about my language, but I get mad that he is using this as an excuse for what he did to me."

"You need to stop looking at this from a psychologists point of view. You need to look at this from a personal point of view. Forget all the arguments that we will be using, just concentrate on your time on the witness stand. That will be key to this case."

"Robin, sorry to interrupt, how long will Zoe be on the witness stand for?" Asked Ed. The first time he had really spoken in the whole time we had been talking.

"We are expecting Zoe to be needed for at least two days Edgar."

"Two days being grilled?"

""At least, depending on how the cross examination goes. The defence will go hard on her knowing her job. That is why I needed to call her in and get her briefed on what will happen."

"Is there no other way? Does she have to face him for that long?"

"Unless he changes his plea to guilty which is unlikely, yes Zoe will have to face him for that long."

I looked at Ed's face and saw the worry etched on it. I knew he was worried about my mental state. I knew he was worried about us. Not being able to control myself I reached for his hand and squeezed it tight. He looked down at my hand and I could see tears come to his eyes. He stood up from his chair, releasing my hand and excused himself from the room. 

"Robin, this is hard for both of us. Ed is struggling with this. I have spent all weekend pouring over my notes, please look at them. This will destroy mine and Ed's relationship if Brian gets away with it. I can't lose Ed. Please just do anything you can to make sure that doesn't happen."

"I sympathise completely with your situation, I don't know how you are doing so well, so soon. I will promise you now, we will be doing all we can to make sure that the man who did this is put away for a long time. It is up to the defence to prove insanity as you well know. Then it's up to the jury whether they believe it or not. We will try and prove that by saying if you had been in love with him he wouldn't of done it, he knew what he was doing was wrong and admitted that by his words. We will say it was revenge for you not reciprocating his feelings."

"And will the defence tear me to shreds?"

"I won't lie, it's going to be tough, they will go back over every little thing he has said to you in every session you had. They will claim that you knew he was a danger as he told you he wanted his wife dead and you ignored it. It will be a rough ride and you need to prepare for that."

"Ok, thanks for being so honest. Can you give me a rough list of questions that may be asked so I can prepare as best I can?"

"Of course I will get them sent to you in the next couple of days. I will also arrange to see you next week before the trial starts on the Monday so we can go over any other details that may come up. You won't be called until the Tuesday or Wednesday at the earliest after opening statements, so you will need to make sure the rest of that week is free."

"I will do. Thank you Robin, I am taking you at your word that you will fight my corner."

"I will fight as hard as I possibly can to get the right result. Please try and trust me and try and relax between now and then. Two weeks is a long time to wait, but do not let what's happened invade anymore of your life."

"Stay cool Robin. I will see you next week. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too. I will make sure those questions are sent to you as soon as possible Zoe."

We shook hands and I left the office to look for Ed. He wasn't in the corridor outside so I made my way to reception. I saw him sat there with his head in his hands. I took a deep breath and walked over and crouched in front of him. 

"Baby? come on baby lets go home."

Ed looked up into my eyes for what felt like the first time that day and I could see how many tears he must of cried. 

"Yogi baby, please take me home."

"I'm so sorry Zoe, I'm so sorry for what happened. I wish I had been there to protect you. You don't deserve what is going to happen. You are my angel, why do you have to put up with this?"

"Let's talk about this when we get home ok? Now stand up, kiss me and we will walk out with our heads held high."

"I want to take this away from you, but I know I can't. I don't want you being torn to pieces by some fucking barrister who wants a lunatic walking the streets again."

"I know baby. Neither do I, but I have to go through it if I want a fighting chance that he will be sent away for a long time. I'm sorry I shouted at you last night. I'm a horrible fucking person. I'm selfish and can you forgive me?"

"I love you Zo-Zo. You are not selfish, you were just trying to prepare yourself for what lies ahead. I didn't realise that. I thought you would have to stand up and just say what happened to you and that would be it. I have been stupid and naive."

"You must of watched enough court room films to know what they would do to me?"

"They are just fucking films Zo, not real life."

"As long as we are together we can fight anything, but, we need to do it together. I'm sorry I fucked up the weekend, it was all a waste of time anyway. They won't use any of the notes I made. I wasted precious time that I could of had with you. That won't happen again."

"Yes it will, you know it will, but I don't care. You have to do what you have to do to work through this."

"Can we go home now? I want to get changed before we go to work."

"Of course, come on."

Ed stood up and wrapped his arms around me so tightly I thought I would be squashed. He kissed me on the top of my head and we walked out to hail a taxi. The ride home was completely different to the one going. We just stayed wrapped in each other's arms, no sitting on other sides of the taxi. The silence was the same but it was a good silence. I got my phone out of my bag and typed. 

"@Edwright Turn your face to the sun and the shadows will fall behind you."

I heard his notification tone go off but he didn't make any attempt to move. I looked up at him and he was just staring at me. 

"You not going to get that?"

"No, I don't want to move from holding you. How did I get so lucky?"

"Lucky or unlucky? I bet your ex's never gave you this sort of shit?"

"True, it was less stressful, but they are ex's and you aren't so I must want to put up with the shit if it means being with you."

"I would understand if it was too much for you. We haven't had an easy ride of it have we?"

"Nothing worth having is ever an easy ride. It's like a test. If you get over the shit and you are still ok everything else is going to be perfect. It's just the fate gods testing our resolve with one another."

"I don't want to ever spend another night like last night without you."

"Well we will just have to fill up all the spare rooms with babies so you can't sleep in them then."

"Fuck off with the babies. Babies is not happening. Man up and be scared when someone mentions babies. That's how you should react."

"But, I want your babies. God they would be perfect."

"Let's just enjoy each other first and our new house. Fuck I can't wait to move."


	18. Chapter 18

We wrapped on the film a week later and I cried, I actually cried. I didn't think I would but seeing this group broken up made me sad. I had been lucky and the studio had taken me on as a psychologist for all of Ed's films and any others they had in production. I was worried I would of been out of a job after only a few weeks, but I think everyone had put a good word in for me.

It was now also only a week until the start of the trial. I had tried to block it out a much as possible, and concentrate on my last week on set and mostly I had been successful with only Simon catching me crying once. He had been lovely and supportive and promised to come to the trial everyday to support us both. I told him not to bother and to spend some time with his beautiful family but we bloody know they will all turn up. I just know when they turn up the press will turn up wondering why they are coming and in the time I had been with Ed we had not been in the press once. Luckily people didn't bother with the directors personal life unless they were going out with a big star like Ed's ex. It suited me perfectly. 

I was sat on a chair in a quiet corner, nursing my glass of gin when Paddy came over to me from where he had been dancing with Kat (yes it's a miracle they were still together). 

"Hey phoenix, you look deep in thought. You worried about the trial?"

"Yes and no. I'm sad this is ending, I have made such great friends here, I'm going to miss seeing them every day, but I guess I will get used to the transient lifestyle of a film set huh? And yes I'm worried what they are going to ask me at the trial. I have a feeling it will get pushed down into GBH with an insanity plea into the bargain."

"What? That's fucking shit. He should get done for attempted murder and no bloody plea into it."

"I agree sometimes Pads, but then he does have some mental health issues that can't be overlooked. Why does the logical part of my brain have to kick in? I hate him, I really do hate him and I can't even pity him knowing he is sick as I hate him that much. Does that mean I have failed at my job? Should I not be able to see past the hate if I was a good psychologist?"

"You are human Zoe, you are not a machine. It's a miracle you are a coherent genius at all, let alone so soon after what happened. Bugger me I would need therapy for years if it had happened to me."

"I'm not a genius, nowhere near that. Your Kat is though. How is it going with her? I have to say she is looking very happy."

"Don't try and change the subject phoenix, you are a genius and you are beautiful and you will kick fucking arse at the trial I know you will."

"Thanks Paddy. It's nice to hear you say that even if I don't believe a fucking word of it, now spill about Kat."

"She's good, very good. I like her a lot. She's off her head, and fuck me does she like a drink but at the moment it's going very well."

"That's good to hear, cos if you fuck her around, I will hunt you down and chop your balls off."

"And do you know the worrying thing? I fucking know you would as well."

"Go and dance with Kat, Paddy. Keep her out of trouble, if not she will be causing trouble before we know it."

"I hope you enjoy this evening Zoe. Remember every moment."

Paddy kissed me on the cheek and walked back to where Kat was still dancing, I watched the scene around me, everyone happy and laughing, the hard work had finished, but some also seemed a little sad that another project had come to an end. Ed still had months of work on the film. I wouldn't be seeing him as much as I had been and that bloody hurt. He had taken the next two weeks off for the trial, I told him he didn't need two weeks off but he wouldn't change his mind. 

I heard my phone notification go off in my bag. I reached down and pulled it out. 

"@ZoeD Why are you sat alone in the corner? Nobody puts baby in the corner."

Before I could reply I felt arms wrap round me, and a kiss on my neck. I closed my eyes and leaned back onto Ed. He felt and smelled so good.

"I was just navel gazing and surveying the scene baby."

"For someone who would never come to my work as it was 'weird' you seem upset to see it all end."

"I am sad, I'm going to miss these people so much. I now get what you said about being a family on set."

"You will still see them all again eventually. The industry is so small that they will be working with you on another film soon enough. In fact I know Nigel from sound and Patrick from photography have signed up to the next film you will be doing. And then you will be back with me after that."

"I will enjoy working with you. I like seeing you around at lunch, and I like perving over your arse when you are bending over looking at monitors."

"Oh you do, do you? I didn't know you were watching so closely. I had thought you would be watching the action?"

"I was watching the action, I was watching the action I wanted to get later on."

"I'm never going to bend down at a monitor without thinking of that comment now. Thanks for distracting me."

"You're fucking welcome. As long as you have that vision of me wanting your arse you will never stray."

"I wouldn't anyway, and I hope you know that."

"I actually do. I know I joke about it, but I actually know you never would."

"Now Dr Davis, it's time we got you a refill and got you out of the corner and I have the perfect place."

"Yep, come on, get me wasted and dance with me."

"Sshhhh just come with me."

Ed led me over to the bar, topped my drink back up and dragged me outside. We were walking in the general direction of his office.

"What's going on Yogi? Where are you taking me?"

"Don't ask questions. And can I ask if you will put this on?"

Ed pulled out a scarf from his pocket, and started to tie it round my eyes. 

"What the fuck Yogi? What is this about?"

"I said no questions, are you sure you are comfortable with this round your eyes, you know after everything?"

"It's fine, he never covered my eyes. But I'm worried what you are going to do to me."

"That first night when you took me for something to eat you asked me to trust you and I did, so now you have to completely trust me. Do you?"

"Of course I do, but they are not really in the same league are they? Mine was about Chinese food, yours is about god knows what. But carry on, you know I trust you."

Ed had his arms wrapped round me as he guided me to where we were going, I was getting disorientated as we didn't head in the direction of his office like I expected. We seemed to walk around for ages, me doing the pigeon toed shuffle as I was conscious of where I was walking.

"Hurry the fuck on Yogi, I can't do this all fucking night."

"Not much further now Zo, I promise. Trust me yeah?"

"Fucking trust you? I have been walking round like a moron for ages."

I then heard Ed's phone go off and I could feel him fumbling to get it out of his pocket.

"Nearly there now baby, now when I open the door be careful there may be cables on the floor. I also need you to remember something. Remember that every film I make, I do a small cameo roll in a different way can you remember that?"

"Yes I fucking know that, you normally speak or do something small."

I heard Ed open a door and guide me inside. I was shuffling to avoid tripping and falling on my face. He led me forward and then stopped me. 

"Right sit down Zo, that's it. Are you comfy?"

"Yes can I take this fucking blindfold off yet?"

"No, not just yet, now put these headphones on."

"What the pissing hell is going on? Oh god you're not going to shitting sing are you? I love you and all but I have heard you in the shower and you really are shit at singing."

"I'm not going to sing don't worry, but we will revisit this conversation later, I'm not that bloody bad. Right just relax ok?"

"It's hard to relax when you have no idea where you are, you are blindfolded and can hardly hear fuck all."

Ed didn't reply to me, and I swore I could hear him walk away. What the hell was he doing to me? 

"You can take your blindfold off now Zoe," came blasting through the headphones. 

I undid it, rubbed my eyes to adjust to the light and looked around. I was confused. In front of me was one of the pub scenes with the five main characters all stood with a beer in their hands. 

"And here we go, just like the five musketeers!" Said Simon. 

I noticed that Ed had taken Martin Freeman's place in the scene. I also remembered watching the filming of this scene before and I had enjoyed it. 

"Three musketeers wasn't it? Replied Paddy 

"Four if you count d'Artagnan." Responded Eddie

"Six if you include Zoe." Said Ed. 

What? That didn't happen the first time round, what the fuck was Ed doing? 

"Six doesn't make any sense Ed." Replied Simon 

"And fucking five did?"

"Five was how it always was, you know in the old days." 

"Well it's going to be six from now on." Replied Ed to Simon. 

I could see Simon trying not to laugh and I wondered what was coming up next, Ed looked nervous as hell, but then he was no actor. 

"But no birds allowed Ed."

"What not even a wife?"

I gasped audibly out loud. Did he just say what I think he said? I adjusted my headphones and put my hands tightly around them. 

"Ah fuck, if she's your wife that's different she can be a musketeer then."

"Well, I haven't asked her yet."

"Well you had better fucking boo-boo and ask her then." 

Ed moved away from the bar and started walking over to me. I was in shock. Was he actually going to ask me now? In front of everyone. Oh fuck how did I actually feel about this? I looked over and the four guys left were all huddled together with their arms around each other and looking like they were holding their breath. Shit Zoe breathe, deep breaths. Maybe he's just going to say he wants to marry you one day, not like this day. 

Yes, I didn't believe that shit excuse either, but you know, I was fucking panicking. Right leave it to the gods of fate, close your eyes and whatever the first thing that comes out of your mouth is your answer. Clear your mind, and do not focus on anything. 

"Dr Zoe Davis, I love you, my best friends love you, we did the shittest sketch in the world for you, and as Simon said if you were my wife you could be a musketeer. So do you wanna be a musketeer?"

I opened one eye and saw Ed on one knee in front of me holding out a ring box. Fuckity fuck. Keep clearing the mind Zoe. I opened both eyes and stared into Ed's eyes. They were glistening with hope and love. I was still trying to clear my mind and let fate take over. Problem was fate seemed to be taking a long time to answer. 

"I'm trying to comprehend what the fuck is happening here, and I was trying to clear my head to let the fate gods decide. They seem to of taken a holiday and deserted me right now, so I think I'm going to have to answer this one for myself." I sighed deeply, leant forward to Ed's ear and whispered "I would love to be a musketeer."

Ed jumped up off the floor, grabbed me off the chair wrapping my legs around his waist and shouted "She wants to be a musketeer. She bloody said yes."

I don't think we have ever kissed like we kissed then, our mouths were on one another  
and our tongues collided instantly. The emotion I felt was overwhelming and tears started to fall. I could feel we were both smiling through our kiss. I pulled away and looked into Ed's eyes. 

"I love you Edgar Wright."

"I love you Zoe Davis, now let me put your ring on."

I held out my hand and he slipped on the most beautiful sapphire and diamond engagement ring I had ever seen. I had always wanted one ever since I had watched Princess Diana's wedding as a child. They were all in vogue again now William had given Kate the ring. 

"Kat told you huh?"

"A little bird might have given me a clue."

"Fuck, so that means that Kat knew you were going to do this. And all these guys knew and literally everyone knew but me?"

"Yep, sorry."

"Brave move Yogi, fucking brave move. What if I had said no? Everyone would of known about your plans and you would of died."

"You wouldn't say no."

"Oohhh cocky as well as brave." 

"Not cocky, I just knew you loved me as much as I loved you so how could you say no. I also harboured a guess you had always wanted to be a musketeer?"

The moment was interrupted by the four guys piling in and almost knocking us over. Paddy grabbed me for a hug and gave me the biggest kiss on the lips which somewhat shocked me. It was Simon's turn next and then Eddie's and lastly Nick. 

"I'm glad he found you Zoe. Make each other as happy as you are now, always." 

I hugged Nick a tightly as I could. And kissed him on the cheek. 

"Thank you Nick, thank you for giving me a chance in the beginning. Thank you for looking out for your best friend, and thank you for being a friend to me."

I released Nick from our hug and Ed soon took his place. We wrapped our arms around each other and I carried on staring at my ring. 

"Yogi?"

"Yes, baby?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Oh shit, why?"

"Just do you trust me?"

"Of course I bloody do. Now out with it."

"Come with me then."

"We can't leave, we have to go back to the party, they are all expecting us to go back in with an answer."

"We won't be gone long."

I dragged Ed outside with me and I made my way towards his office. I looked back at Ed who was lagging behind slightly taping on his phone. 

"Hurry the fuck on Edgar."

"I'm coming, hold on."

"And so it starts, the 'I'm coming right away goddess' has been replaced with 'hold on'."

"I'm here, so where are we going?"

"Your office of course."

I was interrupted by my phone notification beeping. Looking at the screen I saw 

"We have a new musketeer. @ZoeD said yes, and made me the happiest man alive. Drinks on me."

I had to reply. 

"So I'm now a musketeer. I'm going to love being the boss of 5 men. #6musketeers"

I instantly got a reply from Simon and I couldn't help laughing. 

"@ZoeD Just cos you're the boss of @Edwright doesn't mean you are of me. #butpleasebossme"

@SPeggy I love a good bossing Simon. I'm going to give your wife tips as well. #YouWillLoveIt"

"Right come on Yogi, I haven't got all day to tweet. Get in your office now."

"Actually, I'm not going to listen to what you say. You have to listen to me. I am the boss of this film, and technically you are my employee."

Oohhhh nice, nice. I like it. 

"Oh really? I thought I worked for the studio now?"

"Nope, until tomorrow you are still directly answerable to me, so I want you to get in my office Dr Davis so I can have words with you about your conduct."

Fuck I was getting turned on. I was liking this new Ed. I walked into his office and sat in the chair in front of his desk. I was expecting him to sit on the desk in front of me, but instead he went and sat in his chair behind the desk. 

"So Dr Davis, I have had a complaint about your behaviour on set."

"Really? That doesn't sound like me. I'm very professional Mr Wright."

"Well this complaint is quite a serious one I'm afraid, it involves sexual harassment."

I had to smother down a laugh, this was so unlike Ed. 

"I'm sorry to hear that Mr Wright, can I ask what the complaint is?"

"Yes, you have been caught leering at male staff members when they have been bending down on set."

"Is that unacceptable behaviour then Mr Wright? I must apologise if it is, it's just the staff member in question has such a fine bottom, that I couldn't help it."

"Of course it is unacceptable behaviour Dr Davis, and a women of your esteem should know this."

"I will of course apologise to the staff member in question, I wouldn't want him to be offended by my conduct. I do have to say though that he should take some of the responsibility for my behaviour."

"And how do you figure that out Dr Davis?"

"Well if he didn't keep bending over in his tight jeans, and if he wasn't such a ridey arse, I wouldn't of been tempted."

I could see Ed now trying to cover a smile, I gave up covering mine and gave the filthiest smile I could muster. 

"You still need to act professionally Dr Davis."

"And I promise I will in future. Will there be a disciplinary for my behaviour Mr Wright? Do I need to be told off?"

"Yes you do need to be told off, you need to apologise right this instant to the staff member involved and then I will decide was disciplinary action needs to be taken."

"Ok, I understand."

I stood up and slowly started undoing the wrap top I had on. 

"I am so sorry Mr Wright if my leering at you offended you in any way. It's just that your arse does things to me that are indecent. When I look at you I can fell myself throbbing and getting wet."

Ed's eyes were staring as I shrugged my top off and stood in my bra. I slipped my heels off and started undoing my jeans. 

"You see Mr Wright, I know you are the boss and everything but god I want to touch myself just thinking about your arse when we are on set together. I want you to bend me over your directors chair and fuck me from behind Mr Wright."

Ed stood up out of his chair and it was obvious how turned on he was. He walked over to the door locked it and came back to his desk. This time sitting on the edge of it right in front of me.

"Dr Davis, quite frankly I am astounded at your sexual harassment in my office this evening."

"I'm sorry Mr Wright, it's just that you make me so wet, I'm dripping for you now. Does this mean you are going to fire me?"

I finished removing my jeans and placed my feet back in my heels. I was stood just in my underwear and killer heels. I saw Ed's hands twitching to touch me. 

"I will give you one more chance Dr Davis but this cannot happen again."

"Oh it won't Mr Wright, I can promise you I will never be so inappropriate in this office again."

"Well now for your disciplinary, I think you need to come slightly closer to me so I don't have to shout it out."

I moved till I was stood so close to Ed we couldn't be any closer without actually touching. His hands went to move and he was trying to stop himself. 

"I should be disciplined Mr Wright, it is only fair after the upset I have caused you. I should also say a proper sorry, so you really know that I am terrible apologetic for what I have put you through."

"That would be appreciated Dr Davis. How did you intend to apologise?"

"By bending over your desk so you could spank me for being naughty?"

I could see that what I had said had been enough for Ed, he pulled me onto him, his hands wandering everywhere over my body. I began undoing his jeans, trying to free him from the confines of them but he stopped me. 

"Oh no Dr Davis, touching me is not acceptable."

Fuck me and call me Julie! I needed to touch him! I wanted to touch him. He's hands were still touching me everywhere. I was shuddering under his touch and then he stood up and turned me round so I was over his desk. God, I could of come there and then. His hands moved down to my knickers and he started rubbing over the satin between my legs. 

"Well Dr Davis, you weren't lying to me. God, you are so fucking wet."

He leant forward and started biting my neck as he said it, all I could do was moan in reply. 

"I think I'm going to have to fuck you just to see how wet you are for me." Was growled in my ear. Bugger me, I almost felt faint at how turned on I was. I could hear him finishing undoing his jeans and then I felt him move my knickers to the side. 

I felt his tip brush up against me and I was absolutely gagging for him to be inside me. I pushed my hips back slowly and felt him enter me. 

"Oh my god baby, Ed, shit I'm going to come."

And with that I felt myself spasming around his cock. I knew I was turned on but this was ridiculous. He didn't stop thrusting in me prolonging the ecstasy that I was feeling. I could feel my legs getting wobbly with what had just happened. When I had gained some control, Ed moved his hand round to my clit and started circling it very lightly. I cried out for more and he pressed harder while still thrusting into me hard. I could feel myself building up again inside and wondered what the fuck was going on. I had never had sex like this before. I know I always say that about us, but it truly did get better and better. 

Ed bent down to my ear and whispered "come for me again baby, come for me again."

I didn't need telling twice and screamed out his name as I again rode out my orgasm. I was beginning to feel dizzy, but god I didn't want this to stop. Just as my orgasm had subsided Ed pressed hard again on my clit, and thrust into me even harder. It was as if he was reading my body and knew that I was going to come again. I felt myself contract so hard, that I must of literally sucked the orgasm out of Ed, we screamed out together as we both came at the same time. Ed slowed right down, and then just wrapped his arms around me. 

"Shit Zoe, that was unbelievable."

"You're telling me? You're telling me. Fuck Ed, I don't think I can actually stand without assistance. My head is spinning, my body has never felt so alive, and I have never been so turned on."

"That was a turn on. Fuck was that a turn on. We had better get back though we have been far too long."

"Do we have too? Could we not just slip away home and carry on what we have started?"

"That is the most tempting offer I have ever had, but no I can't baby. People will have heard the news by now. They will probably be looking for us soon. You had better get some clothes on, as much as I like seeing you like that, I don't want everyone to see you like that."

"Good point Yogi, and hold up how come I have hardly any clothes on but you still have all your clothes on?"

"That's cos you had been so naughty with sexually harassing the boss."

"Yeah but the pervy boss secretly loves it."

"And who wouldn't love being perved on and called a ridey arse by the woman he loves?"

I started getting dressed and walked over to the mirror that was in Ed's office. Bugger I looked royally shagged. Everyone was going to know. 

"I don't think I can do much with my hair hun, they are all going to know exactly what we have been doing."

"They would of anyway as Simon would of told them all. You look beautiful, just like you have been shagged but beautiful."

"And you look beautiful as well Yogi. Now come on and get me drink and can I have that dance now?"

"Of course you can, though I am a shit dancer. Can you marry someone who can't dance?"

"Well that's a tough question Yogi. It could be a deal breaker but on consideration, your sex skills more than make up for it. Now let's boo boo."

We walked back to the party, of course with our arms wrapped around each other. I grabbed my phone and wrote

"Amazing, @Edwright went for a Lionel encore. #ThreeTimesALady"

I also snapped a picture of my ring and tweeted

"My username will be changing soon. @ZoeW has a nice ring to it."

I showed Ed my picture and words and he nodded with approval.

"So you will change your name then? I didn't think you would as Doctors tend to keep their maiden names don't they?"

"I did keep it before. But I want to be be Mrs Wright, Dr Wright has a nice ring to it as well."

"Perfect, absolutely perfect now let's get this party on."

As we walked back in to the party, everyone cheered and clapped. Kat came charging up to me jumped up and wrapped her legs round me and kissed me all over, then got off and did the same to Ed much to my amusement. 

"Did you like it? Was it the right sodding ring? Fuck I looked everywhere for the perfect one. It's a good job your man has deep pockets. I have fucking expensive taste."

"It is perfect Katty, exactly what I would of chosen. Thank you. And also fuck off for not giving me a heads up."

"I couldn't it would of pissing ruined everything. I did make him change doing it in front of everyone though, I thought you might kill him for that."

"It was bad enough doing it in front of the others. Thanks for getting him to change it. I love you Kat. Nothing will change between us, you even have your own room at our new house."

"So I can getting fucking plastered and crash out every free night we have. Bliss! Can I bring Paddy?"

"No, you are not using my new, lovely, glamorous house as your knocking shop. You can sleep in separate rooms." 

"Fuck that we will have to use the fucking disabled's then." Kat cackled her usual laugh and she hugged Ed and I simultaneously.


	19. Chapter 19

"Ed, please get a fucking move on."

"I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm just trying to reply to all the messages we are getting wishing you all the best."

"Leave them, we have to be at court now."

"Ok, calm down Zoe, you won't be called today you know that."

"I know, but I need you in the court to tell me about the opening statements. They won't let me in until after I have given evidence the fuckers. And remember to take notes."

"I will, I promise. Come on then let's go."

It was the opening day of the trial. I was shitting myself and trying to hide it from Ed. We had had a great weekend. We had partied hard the Friday and Saturday and then spent all Sunday in bed mainly suffering from a hangover and of course shagging. I know Ed had partied so hard with me cos he was trying to distract me. I wasn't stupid. Well maybe a little bit. 

We arrived at the court and as we went to get out of the taxi, a couple of photographers rushed up and started taking pictures. I had no experience of this before and looked at Ed in panic. Ed grabbed my hand, helped me out of the taxi and whispered "don't answer, anything, just keep walking."

I did as he said, and we made it to the court unscathed. 

"How the fuck did they find out about this? I didn't need that to happen. Fuck my life."

"Don't let them get to you, don't ever show any emotion in front of them. They will be here everyday now, so you will have to get used to it."

"How did they found out though Ed?"

"Could of been anyone. Even the defence barrister to unsettle you. Don't worry about it now. Look their is Robin, let's go and speak to him."

We exchanged pleasantries and he explained what exactly would happen over the next few days. Basically I would not be allowed into court until after I had given evidence. Ed was allowed to sit in the public gallery when he wanted. I heard a commotion coming through the doors and all three of us looked in that direction. 

In stumbled Kat, Paddy, Simon, Simon's wife Maureen, Nick and John. 

"There you pissing are, we thought we were going to be late Zo, I told Paddy to hurry the fuck up! but he couldn't tie his tie properly and it all went tits up."

We all hugged and Simon introduced me to his wife who seemed lovely, and then we fell into silence. It was an awkward silence. No one knew what to say to me. 

"Look everyone it's great you have come, but you shouldn't have, I won't be giving evidence until at least tomorrow and probably Wednesday. Go out and have fun, enjoy your time off work, you don't want to be stuck here with me."

Simon stepped forward almost as if the designated spokesman, "we are coming everyday Zoe. Nothing you say will change our minds. We all discussed it on the way over here. We know you can't enter court until you have done your bit, so we are going to take it in turns to sit with you. Whoever is in court will take notes incase Ed misses anything, except Paddy as we are not sure if he can write yet......."

"Fucker, I heard that." Interrupted Paddy. 

"Today you have me and Maureen keeping you company. Everything is sorted."

I tried to hold my tears in as I looked at my friends. What an eclectic bunch we made. 2 doctors, 1 director, 3 actors, 1 producer and 1 PR guru. No wonder people were staring at us. The court usher came out and called everyone into court. I looked over at Ed with concern. 

"You will be fine Zoe, Simon and Maureen will look after you, if you need me just text."

"Thank you Yogi, you promise you will take all the notes you can? Even if they say horrible things about me? I need you to promise that as it will help me prepare for when it's my turn."

"I promise. Now give me a kiss."

I leant up and kissed him, I didn't want that moment to end. I knew when he walked away from me the trial was actually beginning.

Maureen came over and held my hand, I smiled at her through the tears that were forming in my eyes. 

"Come on Zoe, let's find somewhere you can have a cigarette." 

"Bloody Simon you grass. Thanks Maureen, it's nice to have another girl around, how have you coped with these boys all these years?"

"You learn to just ignore them, they soon go away and play together and leave you in peace then."

"Ohh nice, I'm going to need more tips like this. Tell me more?"

"Edgar is going to kill you Maureen Pegg if you tell her everything." Interrupted Simon. 

"Who cares, we don't do we Zoe?"

"Nope."

The day went so slowly. We just sat around, talking, answering messages on our phones and tweeting, lots of tweeting, about random crap to try and make the time go quicker. Court adjourned at about 4pm and Ed came out with the others. They all looked really serious and not the rabble that had walked in earlier. 

"And? What the fuck happened?"

"I have all the notes we will go through them later on baby. Let's get out of here." Replied Ed.

"No, tell me what the fuck went on."

"Hey Zo how about we go to the pub for a debrief?" Interrupted Kat. "How about we all go to the pub, not a wild one, just some mates and a glass of wine having a laugh."

"That sounds like a plan actually, come on then whoever's coming, let's go to the pub."

The eight of us walked out and found the nearest pub. I hung back to have a chat to Ed about what had happened.

"Was it really bad then Yogi? What did they say in opening statements?"

"It wasn't bad baby, I swear. It's just well, it's just."

"What? It's fucking what?"

"None of us quite realised what you had been through. Obviously we knew it was bad, but hearing it in there was all a bit of a head fuck, all of us asked each other how the hell you are still sane? It really made it sink in what happened."

"What do you mean? You know what happened to me, you have read the story."

"It's not quite the same as hearing it from someone else in simple black and white. Your story is heart felt and has emotions. Today was stark and stripped bare. How are you so strong?"

"I'm not strong Ed, I'm living, I'm getting through each day as it comes."

"No you are the strongest person I know. Even Kat commented that it would of broken her completely, and she is a tough bitch."

"It wouldn't of broken her, she is a tough bitch, tougher than anyone I know. She would of escaped, I couldn't even manage to do that."

"How could you escape when you had your hands tied and a fractured skull? Give yourself some praise here, you are like superwoman."

"Anyway that's enough of that, let's have a drink and go through the notes yeah?"

The group of us sat in the pub for a couple of hours laughing and joking. Occasionally I would catch one of them looking at me in a weird way, when I did I just smiled at them. 

The next day it was more of the same, this time Kat and Paddy sat out with me and I honestly thought we were going to get kicked out of court. They were outrageous together but hilarious. I hope they made the distance. They were totally perfect for each other. 

We again adjourned to the pub to debrief after court had finished for the day. Again I got the looks from my friends, I was beginning to get used to it. 

Day three, and my first day in court. I was shitting myself, I had gleaned the defence barrister was going to go hard on me from what I read from his opening statement and from what Robin had said. I had to stay calm and not let him rile me. I also had to have words with the entire group about not shouting out in court, especially Kat and Ed. It was going to be hard for them to see a defence barrister try and tear me to shreds. 

As I was called and sworn in, I looked up to the public gallery and saw the 7 faces all smiling at me. 

Robin stood up and started asking me questions on what had happened. I answered as best I could but my voice was shaking, I was so bloody nervous and I had been in courts before. 

"Dr Davis, do you believe that it was the intention on the defendant to kill you?"

"Yes I do. I believe that after he had been arrested he knew I would have no food or drink, but still he did inform anyone of my whereabouts."

"And do you also believe Dr Davis that he was coherent in this decision?"

"Yes. He had told me that if I had said I loved him, none of this would of happened. That makes me believe he knew what he was doing was wrong, he was punishing me for what he believed I had done and that means he had coherent thoughts."

Fuck, I was sweating. I couldn't stop my legs from shaking even though I was sat down. Robin went on for hour after hour asking me questions and I tried to answer them as best I could. Then the prosecution were finished with me and it was up to the defence team to cross examine me.

"Dr Davis. You claim that the defendant was coherent, but in the week previous to this incident you had written in your patient notes that he was 'very confused' in a meeting you had. Can you explain this?"

"Yes at that moment in time, he was confused. He was confused about what he wanted from life. The defendant wanted his ex wife back and also said he wanted her dead. This is the confusion I was talking about."

"You did not feel the need to report these statements that he wanted his ex wife dead? I find that incredulous in your profession Dr Davis."

"The defendant had made these statements before and he had admitted that they were untrue. I had no reason to believe they were any different this time."

"Yet, you are leading this court to believe that he wanted you dead. What made this situation different?"

"I believe that he was coherent enough to tell the police upon his arrest where he had left me tied up and gagged. The defendant refused to cooperate in the knowledge that I would not survive without any food or water for more than a few days and I also had a very significant head fracture. The defendant was apologising to me leading up to his arrest so in my opinion he knew what he was doing was wrong."

"Dr Davis you are here as the victim in this trial not as a specialist witness. Please do not try and confuse the jury with superfluous information."

"Superfluous? Superfluous? Brian Coe tried to kill me, he did so in full knowledge of the facts or why else would he bloody keep apologising to me? He had been stalking me for many months without my knowledge, then he abducts me, slams my bloody head into his dashboard, leaves me tied up for a week and doesn't inform anyone of my whereabouts, now you tell me what's fucking superfluous about those statements?"

The judge interrupted "Dr Davis, I have to remind you this is a court of law, language of that nature will not be tolerated. I understand this is very distressing for you, but please refrain from using that language in my court. And on that note, I think we should adjourn until 10am tomorrow morning."

I looked down at the floor, pissed at myself that I had let the bastards get to me. Way to go Zoe, make yourself look like an idiot. Now they all think you're just some uncouth woman. I felt tears prick my eyes as I left the witness stand. 

As I exited the court, I ignored the group waiting for me and headed straight to the toilets. I couldn't stand to cry in front of them all. I had royally fucked up. I knew I had. Fuck this, fuck my head. Tears fell, until I felt an arm around me. 

"Zo, don't cry, you were amazing today. My baby girl was amazing. Fuck the lot of them."

I turned round to face Kat. Who then wiped the tears away.

"I fucked up Katty, I let him get to me. And that wasn't even hard questioning. I know he is going to go harder on me tomorrow to rile me again so I explode. That's what this game is like, and it is a fucking game to those barristers. It's like there theatre. They don't give a fuck about the players, as long as they win, that's all they give a shit about."

"Zoe Davis, you look at me. You are the strongest, bravest, cleverest woman I know. Now tomorrow you go out there and you kick that fucking arseholes butt. You can do this, you will do this or I will tell Ed about that time that you got drunk and stole that flowerpot from that famous actors houses he probably knows him so he could grass on you."

I couldn't help but burst into laughter, Kat always had the ability to do it. When my parents had both died Kat had managed to get me to see the light side and the good times. When I had caught arsehole with miss whiplash it was Kat that made me see it as a blessing and got me so drunk, I couldn't remember what we had gone out for. 

"Thank you my baby girl, you always know what to say. I can't promise to kick his butt though. And if you ever tell Ed, I will just have to tell Paddy about the time in medical school when you had got so wasted the night before that you slept with the icu registrar just so he would put you on a drip in the icu to help you recover."

"Ah fuck it, knowing Paddy he would probably be proud of me for it."

We hugged and left the toilets arm in arm. Ed was pacing up and down outside and rushed over as soon as he saw me. 

"Baby, are you ok? Don't be upset, that arsehole was asking for it."

"I will be fine Yogi, let's go to the pub yeah? I need a drink."

"Yep, come on, let's all go."

The 8 of us made our way to our now regular pub across the road from the court and ordered our drinks. They were all a bit quieter than usual so I felt I had to say something.

"Look, I fucked up, yes I majorly fucked up. It won't happen again. I let the pressure get to me. But don't look like we are at a bloody wake. I'm not down and out yet. So get drinking."

Ed squeezed my hand and everyone started to relax. I know I told them all not to come everyday but god I'm glad they did. I would miss this lot if they weren't here for our nightly drinks. 

Day four and I knew it was going to be hell. I knew that the defence barrister was just waiting for me to lose it and get reprimanded again by the judge. He knows how that looks to a jury. Robin pulled me aside and briefed me to stay calm, watch my language and most of all carry on with what I had been saying yesterday. He believed if I constantly repeated that Brian knew what he had done was wrong, they would sway on my favour. 

"So Dr Davis before your outburst to the court yesterday....."

Bastard, yes make sure you fucking mention that again huh? 

"You were informing us that Mr Coe knew what he was doing was wrong. Could you care to elaborate how you came to this conclusion?"

"A person would not apologise if they thought what they were doing was right. If they were not of sound judgement they would not have the cognitive ability to know to apologise. The human brain does not work that way. For a person to be able to apologise a part of their subconscious mind at least, must know that what they are doing is wrong. If they are as impaired as you are claiming Mr Coe to be then that thought would not enter their subconscious and they would be unable to distinguish right from wrong. This did not happen in this instance and Mr Coe in his police statements even apologised over and over again."

Ha, shove that up your arse Mr fucking snooty barrister. 

"You are leading this court to believe that the defendant was of complete sound mind when this alleged incident took place? Even with independant expert witnesses that will testify that Mr Coe is insane? Are you that arrogant that you feel your opinion overrules everyone else's?"

Fuck him. He is an idiot. Don't let him rile you.

"I am not arrogant that I feel my opinion overrules anyone else's, it is MY opinion that Mr Coe was of sound mind when the alleged incident took place. He knew every step he was taking at every point, he confused himself on some occasions as I think he knew he was beyond the point of no return in what he had done, but that does not make someone insane in the legal sense. The defendant has had issues ever since the breakdown of his marriage. It had been my conclusion that he was a control freak, his wife had left him and his way of dealing with it was to make her life a living hell by stalking her at every given opportunity. He did this out of his need to control the situation. Mr Coe knew that by doing this she would be fearful every time she stepped out of her house and he got off on the control.

I will assume it was the same when he started with me. None of my patients ever knew my private life. I never even wore my wedding ring to work. Mr Coe made it obvious he knew I was divorced and he knew I was in a new relationship with Mr Wright. The only way he could of known this was by stalking me on a regular basis. By telling me that night he had been following me, he was trying to gain control over the situation and myself. I would not allow him to do that. No one has the right to control someone else's life. We are all individual people. I would also claim that what Mr Coe did that evening was pre meditated. He had followed me from work with the full intent of abducting me that evening."

"Dr Davis you can not inform this court whether this was a pre meditated act or not, that is up to the jury to decide."

"I can give my opinion, and with what was said and done that evening I believe in my opinion that the defendant had planned this. Yes, he may have genuinely been in love with me, I cannot comment on those feelings. It happens with people and their therapists. I believe that even if I had said I loved him back the situation would still have had the same outcome as Mr Coe had to be in control. He had control his whole life with work and his personal life. I will state again it is my professional and personal opinion that Mr Coe is not able to be classed as legally insane, he is to be classed as a man with some issues that therapy would of continued to help with and a man who had spent his whole life wanting his own way. When he couldn't get his own way he resorted to violence and potentially murder to satisfy his controlling nature."

I looked into the defence barristers eyes and knew I had taken some of the wind out of his sails. God knows where that had come from, but I had to hope that the jury believed what I said. I looked up at Ed and saw the biggest smile imaginable. I also thought I saw pride in his eyes. 

The defence asked a few more questions but the barrister had stopped being so aggressive with me. He was still a slimy bastard, I only looked at Brian once I could see him making notes. He didn't look the picture of an insane man to me. God I hoped the fucking jury noticed it. 

I was told I could step down from the witness stand and I breathed a sigh of relief, two days of being interrogated by two barristers was draining. Robin stood up and called his next witness who was Brian's ex wife. I looked over at him and his face was a picture of anger. I looked over at the jury and I knew I bloody knew that they had seen his face. Ha up yours you bastard.

I made my way to sit with the others in the public gallery and they all moved up so I could sit between Ed and Kat. They both took my hands and squeezed tightly. Ed leaned into me and whispered "I have never been prouder of you than I am right now."

I looked into his eyes and you could see it, I blushed and looked away. Is it wrong that hearing him say that made me horny? God I wanted him. But seeing as we are in a court of law I couldn't do a thing about it. And I wasn't going to do it in the disabled's! Come on my names not Kat. 

Brian's ex wife looked nervous as she answered Robin's questions. Her head never looked up off the floor once. God, that bastard did a fucking job on her. I felt so sorry for her when the defence barrister started. He was like a lion stalking his prey. She stuttered and tried to answer his questions but he kept turning them round. The only time she looked up was once and she looked me directly in the eyes. I smiled at her and just nodded. I don't know if it was that small action from me or whether she finally found inner strength but suddenly she let the barrister have it with both barrels. 

"Brian was violent before his breakdown, why do you think I had an affair? He was emotionally and physically violent on numerous occasions. He had to control everything about our lives. I feared for our daughters safety as she got older, Brian was never violent towards her but I worried it was only a matter of time. I was hospitalised on three different occasions because of his violent nature and it was all because I said no to what he wanted to do. What he has done to that poor woman doesn't surprise me. And I know that if he was freed, he would do it again."

I tried to look at the defence barristers face, but he was turned slightly away from me. I saw his shoulders physically slump though. I don't think his client has been totally honest with him! Hah good. Here he was trying to paint this picture of a poor man who had severe mental health issues and all that was coming out was what a violent, controlling bastard he was. 

Jane left the stand and I left the public gallery to go and meet her. 

"Hi, look I know you don't know me, but I just wanted to say thank you. What you have said today could truly save my sanity. I am worried how I am going to be if he gets off or gets released quickly. Thank you for helping me."

"Please don't thank me, I just wish if I had pressed charges for the domestic abuse none of this would of happened to you. I have felt so guilty ever since I heard what he had done to you."

"Don't feel guilty, you did not cause this, you are not responsible for anyone's actions but your own." 

I think I surprised Jane by hugging her. I felt her relax and hug me back. 

"Are you going to watch the rest of the trial?"

"No, I can't stand to be near him, I want to go back to my daughter and husband. I just hope the bastard gets what he deserves."

"So do I Jane, so do I. Look here's my number if you ever want to chat you know where I am."

"Thanks Dr Davis. I hope you can move forward and enjoy the rest of your life."

"I will, I have my beautiful husband to be, he will see me through."

I watched as Jane left and wrapped my arms around myself. I looked over to the doors and saw Ed smiling at me. 

"That was kind what you just did. No one would blame you for hating that woman, but you don't. Another reason why I love you."

"Why would I hate her? She is just as much a victim in this as I am, fuck I hate that word. I hate the word victim. I'm not a victim."

"No you're not baby. Are you coming back in."

"Yes, yes I am."

The following days were arguments and counter arguments and prosecution experts and then the defence started. They called different experts who claimed that Brian was insane. And then in a move that surprised me they called Brian to the stand. This was a huge gamble, if he appeared coherent there whole case was blown, if he appeared deranged then it was a win for them. 

"So Mr Coe can you tell me what happened on the night in question."

"Not really, I don't remember much, I don't remember getting Dr Davis into the car and don't remember where I took her, that's why I couldn't tell the police. I think I must of had an episode and blocked it out."

The lying bastard. I could see Robin frantically scribbling notes. I grabbed my notebook out of my bag and started making some of my own. 

"But do you admit to following Dr Davis on numerous occasions before the night in question?"

"I think I did, I can't really remember I was in such a bad way then, but, yes I would probably have to admit to following her on several occasions. I don't know why I did it."

"Were you in love with Dr Davis, Mr Coe?"

"Yes, I mean no, I don't know."

"Do you believe that Dr Davis was in love with you Mr Coe?"

"Yes, I do."

What the actual fuck, how dare he say that. I could feel myself tensing up, Ed put his arm around my shoulders and kissed me gently on the cheek. 

"Don't listen to the bastard. No one here believes that's true, not for a bloody minute."

I put my hand on his leg and mouthed thank you. 

"Why do you say that she was in love with you?"

"She always made time for my appointments even at short notice, nothing was ever too much trouble. Dr Davis was always kind and thoughtful with her words to me. It was different to other psychologists. I knew she had feelings for me."

"Do you think she played on these feelings for you?"

"Yes, I believe she didn't help me as much as she could to the best of her ability as she wanted to keep seeing me."

I could kill him, I could actually jump up there and actually kill him.

"Now I know this next question is going to be hard for you Mr Coe. Please take your time. Did you want to kill Dr Davis? Was it your intent to physically harm her?"

I know what that slimy git was playing at. He knew the prosecution had such a strong case that he was determined to get it down to GBH. He knew that the prosecution had to prove that the intent was to murder. If they couldn't it was a GBH charge. 

"I would never harm Dr Davis, I care for her too much to want to harm her. I was beside myself when these allegations were put to me. I knew I wouldn't do these unspeakable things."

"Thank you Mr Coe, no further questions your honour."

Robin stood, looked at his notes and said 

"Mr Coe, you claim to have had an episode on the evening in question. This episode lasted a good few days then?"

"Yes, I suppose it must of."

"You can't remember taking food and water daily to the house? You can't remember tormenting Dr Davis that no one was looking for her, and her partner had moved on with another woman already? You can't remember telling her if only she had loved you back none of this would of happened?"

"No I don't, I don't remember any of that. I wouldn't do that to her."

"You don't remember her making you so angry with her refusal to shut up that you slapped her across the face? You don't remember slamming her head into the dashboard of your car so hard you fractured her skull and caused her to spend 3 weeks in hospital? You don't remember tying her up with duct tape, to a chair for a week?"

"No I don't remember doing any of it. I am poorly, you heard the Doctors. I have problems in my head."

"Yet you seem to have been able to function perfectly well in court passing notes to your legal team which is something your expert witness claim would be impossible for someone with your level of mental illness?"

"I just needed to tell them something."

"You seemed quite capable to look at your ex wife in complete disgust when she betrayed you by telling the court the truth about your violent past."

"That's cos that bitch deserved it."

An audible gasp was heard from the court. Did he realise what he had just said? The defence barrister jumped up and asked for a short recess so he could talk to his client. The judge asked Brian if he needed to speak to his legal team and to everyone's surprise he refused. Bugger maybe he was nuts after all. 

"So Mr Coe in your words your ex wife deserved everything she got from you. Is that correct?"

"I was a good husband, a loyal husband. She took it all away from me."

"And that left you bitter and angry did it? You wanted revenge and as you couldn't take it out on your ex wife anymore you found the next closest person to you, your therapist?"

"Yes, god no I mean, no. Stop it you're confusing me on purpose. I didn't take anything out on Zoe."

"How do you explain what happened to her then Mr Coe?"

"I told you, I don't remember what happened."

"But you do remember following her and spying on her while she was having sex with her new, loving partner?"

I cringed as our sex life was hauled into open court. 

"Well she shouldn't of been such a fucking slut and done it with him in her office. That was our space, mine and Zoe's private space and he came in and invaded it and took her like she was a piece of fucking meat, and the dirty whore just let him."

Another gasp was heard, but Robin didn't skip a beat.

"And that upset you greatly didn't it Mr Coe? You needed to take revenge for the woman you loved and who you thought loved you back and who was betraying you just like your ex wife had and you had to get revenge, you had to make Dr Davis suffer just like you were suffering didn't you?"

"Yes, she needed to feel the pain I was in. The whore had cheated on me just like Jane had."

"No further questions your honour."

The defence barrister was slumped in his chair, he refused to look up at Brian as he left the witness stand. Ha fuck you Brian. Fuck you. 

The judge adjourned till the next day for closing arguments to be heard. I left the gallery high as a kite, I knew we had it in the bag, I just knew it. All of our group hugged, and went to leave when Robin approached me. 

"Zoe? The defence team have approached me and they have asked for a guilty plea for GBH with intent to be introduced."

"No, no fucking way Robin, we need to nail him on attempted murder."

"I have taken this to my boss briefly and he thinks it may be a good way to go. The difference in sentencing is minimal, he won't get any time knocked off for a guilty plea as he has left it too late, and it is just GBH with intent without any attempt for an insanity plea."

"No, I'm not happy with this. We have got him. He admitted that he wanted to cause me pain, that proves intent."

"No it proves that he wanted to hurt you, not kill you. We have had trouble proving the intent all along. You were warned this could happen Zoe."

"I know, I know. What sentence would he be likely to receive?"

"The starting guideline is 12 years and up to a maximum of 16 years. I will push the judge for the maximum, but we will have to see."

"Shit Robin, I wanted him put away for life."

"Zoe I understand, but if we go down this route it will be prison and not a hospital order. He would not be free in a few months."

"I know you don't need to tell me any of this Robin, and I appreciate that you have asked my opinion. You do what you think is best for the case."

Ed had heard everything and pulled me into him. 

"Zoe this could be for the best, he goes to prison. Proper prison. Not a bloody hospital where he can still do what the hell he likes."

"I just wanted him found guilty for what he did to me." I sobbed. "He tried to kill me, fuck he actually did kill me and if it hadn't of been for you coming to find me, he would of succeeded."

"I know my darling, I know. But we can let it all go and move on. We have a house to move into and a wedding to plan. And I have a bloody film to finish making."

"ROBIN?" I shouted out. "Accept it. Do what you have to."

He smiled over at me and mouthed thank you. And I saw him rush off to his chambers no doubt to speak to the defence barrister. 

"Come on everyone, at least its all over tomorrow. Let's go to the pub for the penultimate time."

I didn't let go of Ed that evening, I had to feel him near me to feel safe. That bastard had got under my skin slightly today with what he said about me. I also felt violated that he watched me and Ed having sex and made it out to be something disgusting.


	20. Chapter 20

"15 years, 15 fucking years until that bastard will get out. You did it Zo, my baby girl fucking did it."

"Thanks Katty for putting it so eloquently for us all, but I couldn't of done it without all of you guys here with me. So here's to friendship and love and a joint bloody appreciation of alcohol."

The 8 of us all raised our glasses of champagne and clinked. We were sat for the last time in the pub across from court. The moment the judge accepted his plea of guilty and read out the sentencing we had all cheered. I looked down at Brian and saw his head in his hands and he started crying. I know I should be a compassionate person, but I'm not. I hope he has a horrible time in prison. I hope the stories of what they do to child abusers and women beaters are true. He deserves everything he gets. What can I say, I'm not a saint I'm human. Wouldn't you feel the same? 

I turned to Ed who looked brighter and lighter than I had seen him in months and was already looking at me. 

"So Yogi, it's over, we have the rest of our lives to start planning."

"We do indeed forever girl, so when are you going to become Mrs Wright then?"

"Christmas?"

"What Christmas this year, like 3 months away?"

"Yep."

"This Christmas?"

"Yes Edgar this Christmas. The one that is this year. Is that a problem?"

"Fuck no, I'm just surprised that you want it so soon. I thought you would have this big do to plan and you would turn into bridezilla."

"Nope no bridezilla, I want it small, intimate with lots of drink and 80s/90s music and a bloody good party for all our friends."

"That suits me. We had better get on booking somewhere then."

"No need, it's all sorted."

"What? You booked somewhere without me?"

"Well booked it, is a strong word. It didn't really take booking although there was some legal stuff to fill in."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"We are getting married in our forever home. I applied to get a venue licence with the help of John over there, and we can now legally get married in our new home. Did you have other ideas then?"

"That sounds like the perfect day."

"A marquee in the garden, all our friends together having a party. It will be a perfect day. Now I just have to find a dress, and you have to choose a suit and a best man."

"Can I have two? I couldn't choose between Simon and Nick."

"You can have all five of your original musketeers if you want. As long as you turn up on the day. And I'm having Katty as maid of honour and to give me away, as if you wouldn't of already guessed."

"Bugger. Christmas it is then."

"Christmas it is."

 

3 MONTHS LATER

"Fuck Katty, I'm scared, I am bloody scared. Get me some more gin."

"No, no more gin, fuck I never thought I would say those words. I promised Ed to get you to the fancy tent in one sober piece and I intend to stick by it. The four you have already sodding had is bad enough."

"What if it all goes wrong? What if he cheats on me?"

"There is no way he is going to cheat on you. He is not the type. Paddy told me he didn't even look at the hot strippers he had on his stag night. And apparently they were definitely worth a look. Now get in the shower before the bloody hair and make up artists get here. You're bloody jammy being able to get the best in the business for your wedding."

"Perks of my job Kat, perks of my job. I wonder what Ed is doing?"

"Who gives a fuck, as long as he is down in the tent by 4pm."

"Maybe I could go next door and see him."

"No you bloody can't. It's bad luck."

"I think we have had all our bad luck, nothing else can go wrong."

"It can, you could rip your fabulous Vera Wang dress, fuck you're lucky getting that, or your hair could be a disaster or you could fall down the stairs and break your leg. No. You are staying put. This is why I didn't want him to be here I knew you would get pissing tempted."

"He will calm me down, he always knows exactly the right thing to say."

"This should be the happiest day of your life, why do you need calming down?"

"I don't know, I'm scared because I love him so much."

"You weren't anywhere near this nervous when you married arsehole."

"That's because I didn't love him this much. I don't think I actually loved him. I thought I did at the time, but now I'm with Ed I know what love really is."

"Oh shut up before I'm bloody sick, now get in the shower woman."

I got up from the bed and went towards the en suite. Yes we were spoilt that all the bedrooms in our new house were en suite. I looked at my dress hanging up and couldn't wait to get it on. I had gone to New York to get it and it was a true made to measure dress. I was going to get something off the peg but Ed had insisted, so Kat and I had a mad long weekend in the big apple choosing the dresses and getting wasted.

I jumped under the shower and tried to calm down. Come on Zoe, this day will be perfect, you have nothing to worry about. Ed loves you, you know he does. 

I finished up and walked back into the bedroom, I could see Kat on her phone texting, I assumed to Paddy, yes miracles on miracles they were still together and talking about moving in together. 

I sat on the bed and grabbed my phone and opened twitter. 

"It's my last day being @ZoeD so I wanted to say. I'm just a girl standing in front of a boy saying I Do." 

I put the phone next to me on the bed and flopped back. This was going to be a long day. My notification beep made me sit back up. 

"@ZoeD soon to ZoeW I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl saying I Do Too"

Aawww bless him, soppy shit that he is. 

"@Edwright What if the girl, who's standing in front of the boy says maybe? #MaybeGirl."

"@ZoeD she wouldn't bloody dare! #forevergirl"

"@Edwright Well if you could see the obscene gestures from this pristine girl you know she would."

"@ZoeD call me? Maybe?"

"@Edwright I will try, but snatch squad are on the prowl. #CantWaitToBeMrsW"

I looked over at Kat who was still texting, and I walked back over to the bathroom and shut the door. I hit Ed's contact number and waited for him to answer. 

"Hey baby."

"Hey Yogi. I can't be long, I'm hiding in the bathroom."

"Snap, Simon and Ed wouldn't let me come and see you or call you."

"Same with Katty. I can't wait to see you later. Are you going to look hot for me?"

"Don't I always? The question is are you going to look hot for me?"

"Well I bloody hope so after the money I spent on the dress and underwear, although I was thinking of going commando for you baby."

"Oh god, no, don't. I won't be able to get through the vows knowing that. Promise me you won't."

"I can't promise that, I will just leave it up to you to find out later on if I did or not."

"Zo-Zo shit, I have a fucking hard on now. Promise me you will have knickers on?"

"Nope, I can't lie to my future husband so I can't promise you that I definitely will. Fuck I want you so much. I want you touching my wet......"

"Lalalalalalala not listening Zoe. I am not listening. You are mean and a tease and I am going to make you not walk for a week later."

"Is that a promise?"

"Fuck yes. Now I have to go, Simon is knocking and he knows what I'm doing and I now have to walk out of the bathroom with a bloody hard on. Thanks honey."

"You are most welcome baby. I love you I will see you at 4pm...... Maybe."

I quickly hung up before he could respond. My text notification went off. 

"STOP WITH THE MAYBE!"

I laughed but didn't respond, it was going to take me a long time to get ready so I thought I had better start. Mark and Claire had arrived and were talking to Kat. 

"Don't fucking think we don't know what you have been doing in there Zoe. We could hear you talking and being all perverted. You're going to be married you will never have sex again." And then cackled in her usual way. 

I put my underwear on, yes including the knickers, I would make my mind up later what to do and put my satin gown over the top and I was sat down in front of the dressing table by Mark and Claire. We chatted happily about the last film we did and what we were all doing next and it seemed anything except the actual wedding. It seemed to take them hours to get me ready, but then I knew it would especially with my frizzy hair. When I neared the end they covered up all the mirrors so I couldn't see what I was going to look like. The official photographer was let in the room and started to snap away. Kat and Claire took my gown off the hanger and helped me to get in it. There was that worrying moment that it wouldn't fit, and I would have to get married in jeans or something but it fit like a glove. 

Mark and Claire fussed around me arranging my tiara and veil and I slipped into my wedding shoes. They were just flat ballet pumps, I did not want to have sore feet ruining this day for me, I wanted to remember everything about it. I turned round to face Kat and she looked amazed. 

"Don't fucking marry Ed, marry me. You look amazing. I have never seen you look so beautiful or so happy in all our life together Zo. Ed is a lucky lucky man, now come here and snog me, don't listen to Mark and Claire's cries of no. Come here and kiss your sister."

We kissed full on the lips, no not that sort of kiss and then we held each other. I could feel tears welling up so I had to push Kat away. 

"If you make me cry Kat, I will bloody kill you. Lipstick I can fix, mascara all down my face is a fucking disaster. Now go and get your dress on so we can both be beautiful together."

Claire helped Kat get into her dress and we both stood looking at each other. Mark removed the covers from the mirrors and I openly gasped. I never expected I could look this good. It didn't mean to sound vain but Mark and Claire were truly miracle workers. 

The photographer took what felt like hundreds of pictures of us all, and we had to fake getting ready for some of them. I was exhausted before it had even begun. Then it was time. Kat had got a text from Nick telling her they were in place and she looked up and me and nodded. All I could do is nod in return I was still scared of crying. Just as I was leaving the bedroom I stopped. 

"I'm sorry I just have to do this."

I took my phone off the bed and opened up twitter. 

"@Edwright I'm just a girl, getting ready to stand in front of a boy and be his forever girl."

"Hurry the fuck on Zoe."

"Katty?"

"Yes baby girl?"

"Let's boo boo?"

"Let's fucking boo boo baby, let's fucking boo boo."

I felt like I glided down the stairs, I truly felt like a princess for a day. As we made our way through the house I got nearer the massive marquee in the garden. The nerves that had been plaguing me all day seemed to vanish and all I could think of was seeing Ed. As the two of us neared the entrance, Kat held me back. 

"Don't rush it, I know you are desperate to see him, but savour this moment, savour every single bloody glorious thing."

"That's the most sensible thing you have ever said to me I think Kat."

"Well I won't make a fucking habit of it bitch, so savour that as well."

I couldn't help but burst into laughter and I gave Kat another hug. Claire stepped forward and pulled my veil over my face and adjusted my train at the back. And then it really was time, time to face my prince. 

The music started and Kat took hold of my arm and we walked down the aisle together. I could feel people staring at me, but I only had eyes for one person and his face was a picture. It seemed as I got closer and closer to him, his mouth opened wider even more. I saw Simon put his hand on Ed's shoulder and whisper something in his ear. Ed nodded to Simon but his eyes never left mine. 

As I reached him, I looked up and just smiled. He leant to my ear and whispered "I have never seen a more beautiful woman. Thank you for agreeing to marry me, you have made me the happiest man alive."

I wanted to kiss him right there and then, but the registrar interrupted my thoughts with the start of the service. 

"Welcome, friends and family to this special occasion to celebrate the marriage of Edgar to Zoe. The commitment that the two of you are about to make is the most important commitment that two people can make, you are about to create something new, the marriage relationship, an entity that never ends. 

Edgar and Zoe, I would ask that you both remember to treat yourself and each other with dignity and respect; to remind yourself often of what brought you together today. Give the highest priority to the tenderness, gentleness and kindness that your marriage deserves. When frustration and difficulty assail your marriage - as these do to every relationship at one time or another - focus on what still seems right between you, not only the part that seems wrong. This way, when clouds of trouble hide the sun in your lives and you lose sight of it for a moment, you can remember that the sun is still there. And if each of you will take responsibility for the quality of your life together, it will be marked by abundance and joy. 

Edgar will you have this woman to be your wedded wife? Will you love and comfort her, honour and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself unto her as long as you both shall live?"

Ed smiled at me and said "I will."

"Zoe will you have this man to be your wedded husband? Will you love and comfort him, honour and keep him, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself unto him as long as you both shall live?"

With a wry smile on my face I said "maybe..... Yes. Yes."

It looked like Ed was going to kill me, but he then laughed and you could hear our guests laughing probably wondering what the hell just happened. 

"Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent by repeating after me:"

"I, Edgar take you Zoe to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live."

Ed slipped the most beautiful white gold wedding band onto my finger, and then said "Zoe take this ring as a sign of my commitment and fidelity to you."

"I, Zoe take you Edgar to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live."

I placed Ed's matching ring onto his finger and said "Edgar take this ring as a sign of my commitment and fidelity to you."

"Edgar and Zoe, in so much as the two of you have agreed to live together in Matrimony, have promised your commitment to each other by these vows and the joining of your hands and the giving of rings, by the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.

Congratulations, you may kiss your bride."

As Ed pulled my veil back to look me properly in my eyes, everyone cheered and clapped. Ed pulled me to him and gave me the actual foot popping kiss of my life, and this time my foot did pop. I didn't want the kiss to ever end. 

When he pulled away from me, I couldn't take my eyes of him. 

"So Mrs Wright, are we going to have a party?"

"Fuck yes Mr Wright we are going to have a party."

"God I love you."

"I love you too Yogi, and do you know what? It's never going to 'maybe' ever again."


End file.
